I read a fantasy book series called The Black Magician Trilogy by Trudi Canavan. It primarily follows a female protagonist, but somewhere in the second book it also starts adopting the viewpoint of a male character in the story, Dannyl, and his interactions with another man who is attracted to him and is a "lad" (the admittedly hilarious term for a gay man in the world).
This intrigued me because male-male attraction had never featured in any of the other dozen or more fantasy series I had read. I couldn't put my finger on why I was so absorbed into this little side-plot at the time, but now it's clear I was in the desert of heteronormativity and craving queer media and stories wherever I could find them. The character Dannyl originally presents as straight, politely rejecting the attraction of the other man while also sympathizing with his plight (as Dannyl himself had been teased along similar lines in school). However, it turns out that Dannyl had actually been subconsciously using his magic to suppress his homosexual attraction to avoid ridicule and persecution, and he only realizes this after a dreadful ordeal leaves him drained of all his magic. I had barely seen any portrayals of the psychological toll of being in the closet, let alone one in a fantasy world, and this really stuck with me.
Dannyl in the end decides to accept who he is and be with the man he loves, and I think this was also one of the first times I can recall a gay love story being celebrated as opposed to mocked or, at most, briefly acknowledged. I think it was a subtle gay awakening for me, opening my mind to the possibility of happiness and love in non-heteronormative relationships.











