@ardaemon // { Jack Atlas } // cont. from here
there seemed to be much more that yusei had to be than wanted. it would always amaze him how selfless his friend was, and how willingly he gave up everything just to make others happy. jack didn’t understand that, though, to some degree appreciated and… admired. yet definitely was not jealous.
a friend to rua and ruca, but also their guardian; protector of rally and the rest of the squad more than a companion. always ready to help if anyone in the satellite was in need, just to finally become that dystopian place’s saviour by bringing it back together with the city. yusei could pretend he was not exhausted by always being there for everybody, but jack knew him better than anyone else, and he wasn’t the one to fool.
“it’s really hard to know sometimes, isn’t it?” he muttered, for a brief moment turning his eyes onto yusei. “don’t get upset by what i’m about to tell you,” jack warned, raising his hand slightly, letting his friend know not to interrupt, “but if you want my opinion, you have to finally stop being what others want you to be. just quit it. focus on yourself, yusei, or you’ll become a mere reflection of people’s expectations.”
it reminded him of the days back when he used to wield the title of the king of riding duels. when he used to act like the audience and – first and foremost – godwin expected him to. and then everything had disappeared, setting him free from that burden, but bringing another question of who the hell he was, what was his purpose after reaching everything he used to dream of.
the thing was, he still didn’t know.
It was a moment where Yusei had allowed himself to be honest for once not only with himself but with his friend as well. A moment of something like a weakness, because usually he wouldn't allow himself to do so. Usually there was enough to keep himself occupied with. Things he had to do. To think about. The responsibility he put onto his shoulders over the last years was one that wasn't easy to forget or to shove away and yet... he couldn't exactly tell what had happen to ask himself this question. To even voice it out aloud but in this situation it had felt so natural that he couldn't stop himself.
The reaction he got from the other one was not quite the one he expected but at the same time.. it helped Yusei to feel not that stupid to even think about it like that.
Tilting his head to the side he took a look at the other one, eyes meeting for a moment, as Yusei raised one of his eyebrows in slight confusion. That nearly sounded like Jack knew what he was talking about. Even understanding. But the duelist didn't get the chance to question that as the other one continued to talk again, this time a little bit louder what lead him to wonder if he even had been supposed to hear the first few words. In the end his confusion was enough for not even thinking about interrupting the other one, even though he was carefully listening none the less.
Stop being what others wanted hu? That sounded so easy and at the same time so hard because while he could probably tell what the others expected him to be the real question was... what was left?
Focus on yourself he said. But what was that even supposed to mean?
"You say that so easily like that but..." It wasn't easy, was it? Not only because he didn't know what he would have left if he just quit everything that was expected to him. There also was the question, the small feeling of guilt already rising , about what would happen if he would just stop with everything that was expected of him as well. It felt like he would let people down. People close and important to him. Rua, Ruca... Rally.. .he couldn't just went and ignore them and at the same time...
Maybe he never really had allowed himself to be himself in the first place. From his early days on there always had been this feeling of being responsible for the mistakes of his father. Always the thought that he had to make up for them.
So the real question was... who was he really? Who wanted he to be?
"... were do you even begin with something like that..?"