There is so much hate in the world. It is so LOUD...and I seem to attract and extraordinary amount of it. I know that I have a big mouth and that I have to speak up in the face of misinformation and confirmation bias, but when did it become ok to be completely disrespectful to the person? They used to teach how to talk to one another about our differences, perhaps we should return to this practice?
As a woman, I’ve been called everything under the sun; awful things, terrible things, hurtful things. Fortunately, I have developed a thick skin for being called names, I’ve been hearing words like that from a very young age. They’re hurtful, yes; but only if I let them be. I am not the things others call me.
However, there is something wrong with me. Why do I say such rude things to others? What TF compels me to say some of the things that have come out of my mouth? I never hear it until much later, the thing I said. It’s like I check out and don’t really process that it’s rude? It’s so bad that I’ve chosen to not talk to others in a group setting because I don’t want to say the wrong thing. And yet? I always seem to. It’s so goddamn frustrating. But not as frustrating as having to listen to people spout their hatred, bigotry, misogyny, know how wrong they are and being powerless to do anything more than speak up. But speaking up always leads to me getting so much hate back because I don’t believe in staying silent to please those that are part of the problem.
I may be annoying. I may even come off as self-righteous at times, but at least I’m not them. More interested in themselves and sticking to their awful beliefs than even trying to listen to a different view. And I’M the difficult one? Who is the stronger person? The one that challenges you using facts and attempts to reason with you? Or the one that yells profanities and uses opinions to justify such atrocious beliefs?