RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME – JJK
Loving Jungkook was never easy. Losing him while he was still standing right in front of you was harder. When one fight pushes old wounds to the surface, you're forced to confront the terrifying possibility that leaving doesn't always come with slammed doors; sometimes, it arrives in silence.
⎯⎯ pairing: idol!jungkook x reader
genre: major angst (I live for it)
warnings: have a box of tissues ready because this is filled with angst!
wc: 948
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He had not walked out the door. Yet.
Somehow, that felt worse.
He was still here, standing five feet away from you; shoulders pulled taut, guarded, as if one step closer and hell would break loose. His chest was rising and falling with deep breaths, a failed attempt to calm himself.
He was only five feet away but he felt far.
Out of reach.
Like he was disappearing.
You had seen Jungkook angry. Frustrated. Exhausted. Quiet.
But this….this cold, unfamiliar distance sitting behind his eyes felt dangerously close to grief. And grief, you had learned long ago, almost always came before loss.
You knew what leaving looked like.
It looked like packed bags and closed doors. It looked like footsteps fading down hallways. It looked like promises breaking under the weight of silence. But this was new, because here, at this moment, he was standing right in front of you, but he looked like leaving.
With a psychic precision, you saw the words coming before he parted his lips, “Maybe we need some space.”
It should have floored you still, should’ve made your blood go cold. But leaving wasn’t new to you. It had haunted your life one too many times. It had branded itself into your skin so deeply that even now, you carried its scars.
And you were tired of it. Of being left.
“So that’s it? You disappear now that loving me is hard?” A sardonic laugh at the situation left your mouth. Jungkook’s jaw flexed, “I never said that.”
“You don’t have to Jungkook. You really think I don’t know what you mean? Space? Really?”
“I meant what I said Y/n. I don’t mean anything beyond it.” She was pushing him to his edge. He was exhausted, and had returned home to find the entire house a mess. His muscles longed for rest. All he wanted to do was sleep, but you had decided today was the day you waited enough.
You knew what you signed up for when you started dating an idol. He had unbelievably tiring schedules. And you could handle it, you did handle it. But when you start spending more time staring at empty walls than your boyfriend’s face, something inside you begins to shift.
He spent time with you. Initially. Dates every few weeks. Late night calls between rehearsals. Kisses that lasted longer than seconds. He did everything.
Then came the tours. The recordings. The exhaustion. And compromise became routine. He cancelled a date? It’s okay. He couldn’t make it home today? Just be safe. He couldn’t call you? I can wait.
It was okay, until it wasn’t.
Because you had not talked to your boyfriend for more than a total of 30 minutes in weeks. You had not been on a single date with him in over 3 months. Heck it wasn’t even about the dates, he didn’t know about your promotion up until a few minutes ago because even at home, he never spoke. You received nothing more than a ‘congrats baby.’
He would kiss your forehead and go straight to bed. No hi. No, I love you.
You tried to understand. You really, really did.
But you could see him leaving. And it terrified you.
It made you feel things you hadn’t felt in years.
“I’m tired, please. I’ve got a long day tomorrow.”
You had so much to say. And you had been wishing for the last 3 months for just one thing, “You won’t even listen to what I want to say?”
There was a moment of hesitation, “Y/n I’m tired and I really don’t have the energy to listen to your abandonment issues.”
Wow, that one really shook you. To the core. To think he would say that to you of all people.
He knew he had gone too far. He knew it the second he said it. Guilt hit him like a tonne of bricks, “Y/n, I didn’t mean that.”
You just stood there. Standing as if time had stopped for you. As though, something inside you had finally snapped.
When you made no effort to speak, Jungkook sighed and said more, “I’m sorry, I think we’re both overwhelmed right now, let’s just go to sleep and we’ll talk about this tomorrow morning.” It was damage control at its worst. He shouldn’t have said that, and he knew it. But he was too tired to fix it right now. He promised himself he would apologise for it properly tomorrow.
There was a time when ‘tomorrow morning’ meant something to you. But these days ‘tomorrow morning’ just never seemed to come. Hearing that, the fight left your body. All the anger just disappeared. Replaced by that familiar hug of leaving.
“Do you remember the last time you said ‘I love you’ to me?”
The silence was deafening.
Jungkook racked his brain. It was a habit. Surely, he said it to you every day before bed? He would just crash. Before leaving the house? He was always rushing. Something was finally falling into place for him. He didn’t realise when he stopped saying it to her. His breath hitched as he realised, he could not remember. The cold realisation must have reflected on his face, “Yeah, me neither.”
His fingers twitched, aching for your familiar skin. Skin he had spent two years memorising. Tracing. Worshipping. He longed to hold you in his embrace. But before he could do anything.
“You can have your space.” You picked up your phone and swivelled on your toes.
You left the apartment.
Leaving Jungkook with a realisation that had perhaps come too late, and a mistake he might never have the chance to rectify.
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a/n: Do we think this is the end of the road for JK and y/n? Let me know what you guys think! Also I'm very much open to requests so hmu if you've got topics you'd like me to write on!
Love, DearJen
