#aro!remus

[tss-camp-and-coffee]

What Exactly is 'Dating'?

sweet story by @kieraelieson for @inverted-writes-stuff written as part of @tss-camp-and-coffee's Camp Cartoon writing event!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65402740

[brandstifter-sys]

Cardiac

Word Count: 884                                                         (Ao3)

Pairing: Dukexiety (alluded royalceit)

Rating: T+

Warnings: Blood, mild body horror, sex mention

Remus is aromantic and ready to bitch about it to an equally aro emo. Luckily for him, Virgil knows just what to do to take romance out of getting a boyfriend

it’s late and I don’t care, have a fic

---

It was the one day of the year that Roman was insufferable. Pink and red hearts seemed to float around him wherever he went, and then they slammed onto the walls, decorating them for the holiday. 

Remus fucking hated it. Valentine's Day was supposed to be just another saint day, about a guy who got offed for marrying people evading recruitment. There was no reason to get all mushy and lovey dovey, and suffocate everyone else. If it weren't for the copious amounts of sex happening, Remus would be on a murder spree! 

Virgil wasn't a fan of the romantic stuff either, but he didn't mind if the people around him got sappy. It was good for blackmail material—he had proof that Janus was trying to woo both Patton and Roman. The only problem he had was a stupid mesh on a feral himbo who was one wink away from recreating the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

 "Oh fuck, he got here before I could!" 

Virgil looked up from his phone and saw Remus standing at the foot of his bed, glaring at the wall. Of course he found the one poster with hearts on it. Black, broken, bleeding hearts. They were definitely Roman’s work and not a step away from Halloween decor. 

"Roman hasn't been here since January," Virgil said flatly and locked his phone. He knew he wouldn't get back to scrolling through conspiracy videos for a while. Remus was on the edge of a rant.

"Thank God! I'm so sick of the lovey dovey bullshit!" Remus groaned and clutched his hand to his chest,

"Ooh! I love you so much! You can have my heart, even though it’s not a heart and I'm giving you something shaped like a contraceptive and I don't want to fuck!" he said, mimicking his brother's usual grandiose tone. 

"No sane person actually wants to rip out their heart of their chest to give it away," Virgil sighed, "But the metaphor is annoying. It’s better if you just rip your heart out and hand it over." 

Remus' eyes lit up wickedly. 

"Are you suggesting that I would do something like that?" he jeered and plopped on the bed, facing Virgil. 

"In a romantic way? No. Never. And not in a queerplatonic way. Maybe alterous, but you would do something different," Virgil shrugged, not looking at his face. It was unfair how cute Remus could be when he was trying to be challenging. 

"Do tell!" Remus giggled, relaxing his shoulders. Virgil eyed him thoughtfully and rolled up his sleeve. 

Remus yelped when Virgil slammed his hand through his ribcage, forcing him to spit up blood.  His eyes were wide, staring at Virgil's arm sticking out of his chest along with a few broken ribs. 

Virgil licked his lips before grabbing the slimy, pulsing mass of muscle. With a flick of his wrist and a forceful tug, he tore Remus' heart from his chest and held it up. 

"You'd call dibs and eat theirs," Virgil hummed and admired the thundering heart in his hand. Remus was watching him with starry eyes. 

"Are you gonna eat that?" Remus gawked. 

"I don't have to, considering this is what I think you would do to someone you like, have a squish or a mesh on." 

Remus paused and studied Virgil as he shied away, still holding the beating heart, squelching blood all over his hand. He was so cute, hiding behind his bangs. 

Remus slammed his hand into Virgil's chest and grabbed his heart. Virgil groaned when Remus shattered his ribs and tore it out. 

"Now will you eat it?" Remus jeered and brought Virgil's heart to his mouth. Virgil was gawking at him, blushing furiously.

Virgil shook his head and carefully placed Remus' heart in his own vacant chest cavity, setting his ribs back in place around it. 

"I'm not you," he said softly and closed his wound, "But I'm not giving it back." 

“I don’t want it back! But in exchange, I want an alterous boytoy!” Remus hummed and licked up some of the blood spurting from Virgil’s heart. He waited and watched Virgil squirm, weighing his options like he always did. Remus decided to stuff Virgil’s heart in his chest cavity and close it up while he waited. 

He didn’t have to wait long. Virgil grabbed his face with his bloody hands and kissed him like he would never get another chance. He squeaked when Remus dragged him closer by the butt and kissed back with just as much enthusiasm and twice as much spit. 

Virgil pulled away panting with blood on his lips and rested his forehead against Remus’. He was smiling softly and his eyeshadow was bright purple. 

“How about we stay here for the rest of the day and watch some trashy horror movies? I can grab some snacks,” Virgil suggested. 

“You mean snacks other than you and me, and the Evil Dead!” Remus giggled, not letting go of his butt. 

“Yeah, you dork,” Virgil snorted.

“Yeah! We can make it Halloween again!” Remus beamed, “Let’s do it!”

Virgil smirked and licked his cheek, cleaning off some of the blood, and got up, “I’ll be right back. Don’t strip while I’m gone. That’s my job.” 

Remus grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. Maybe Valentine’s Day wasn’t so bad.

[ace-in-a-shopping-cart]

Married at College

Day 5: Flashcards / Skateboard Word Count: 1097 CW: Food

Virgil ran down the hall, his background bouncing against his back and his small charms flying. He skidded to a stop outside the door he’d wanted and had to backtrack to open the door. His eyes scanned the room for his husband, finding him sitting in the second row toward the window, on the opposite side of the room. “Logan! Logan!” He hissed out, trying to get his attention.

Logan’s head rose from where he’d been bent over the desk, a smile lighting his face when he saw Virgil. Carefully, he weaved through the room to stand by him, class having yet to start. “Yes, dearheart. Did you need something?”

Virgil first leaned down to kiss him on the cheek. “Well, you left a few things at home.” He held out both the lunchbox and flashcards Logan had left at home. “You might want these for later.”

Logan sighed and shook his head softly. “I’d lose my head if not for you.” He reached up to press a quick kiss to Virgil’s lips before taking the proffered items. “Thank you, darling.”

Virgil smiled. “Hey, after we’re both done with classes for the day, do you want to go out for ice cream to celebrate the presentation being over?”

Logan smiled. “That sounds great!”

Virgil nodded before checking his watch. “Oh, shoot. I’ll be late for class if I don’t go now. Bye, babe!”

He started running, the corners of his mouth turning up in a small smile as he heard Logan’s reply of, “You’re the best, bard of my heart!”

He arrived at his own class only a few minutes before it was slated to begin. His seatmate, Remus, looked over at him as he sat down. “Dude, you’re never late. What kept you?”

Virgil shrugged as he got his supplies out of his bag. “I had to give my genius husband his lunch bag and flashcards.”

“Wait.” Remus held up a hand. “Husband? I didn’t know you were married!”

Virgil chuckled, looking down at his wedding band. “Yeah, it was kind of a spur of the moment kind of thing. Besides, it’s not like we make a big deal out of it. We’re married and live together but we’re just like every other twenty something year old.”

Remus sighed almost dreamily as he gazed at something in the room. Following his line of sight, Virgil realized he was staring at Patton. Virgil smiled, nudging his shoulder. “You need to go talk to him one day, you know.”

Remus shook his head. “I’m good with just admiring from afar. I’m not really looking for any kind of relationship right now.”

Virgil nodded, setting up his notes for the lecture. “That’s entirely valid, my friend.” Their conversation was cut off when the teacher walked in the door and, a few minutes later, the lecture began.

Virgil’s day went by quite quickly after that, one lecture following another, barely giving him time to think between them. By the end of it, he was exhausted but excited to spend time with the love of his life.

Logan met him outside the science building, one of the few where they had classes in. Virgil smiled upon seeing him and ran to hug him. Logan’s arm looped around his waist as they walked down the sidewalk on their way to the car, chattering about their days and the antics of their classmates. Virgil laughed at Logan’s stories and Logan commiserated with Virgil about his complaints and things like that. Soon, they got in the car, their conversation quickly being replaced with Virgil singing at the top of his lungs as he drove. He didn’t know it but Logan looked at him with adoration, as if he were the most beautiful thing in the universe in that moment.

They arrived at the little ice cream parlor that was down the street a ways from the bookshop they loved to go to when they had a little extra cash soon after. Both getting what they wanted, they sat at a little table directly outside and basked in the warm spring sun. It wasn't hot enough for Virgil to consider taking off his hoodie just yet but it was nice enough for him to feel like he was soaking in the warmth from the sun.

He smiled as he ate his ice cream, pinky linked with Logan’s as they sat in silence and enjoyed the other’s company. Life, for them, was simple and wonderful. Virgil munched on his waffle cone and stared at his husband, wondering how he got so lucky to have this man. Logan chuckled.

“What makes you have that expression, darling?”

Virgil startled slightly, his finger squeezing Logan’s. “Sorry, I was just lost in thought.” When Logan raised his eyebrow in the way that told Virgil to go on, he elaborated. “I was wondering what I ever did to deserve you.”

Logan smiled, putting down his cup and reaching out with his free hand to cup Virgil’s face. “You did so many things, and nothing. You were yourself, and that’s all that matters to me.”

Virgil smiled, leaning into his warm palm. “I love you so much.”

Logan chuckled, leaning in. “I know.”

They shared a sweet kiss, tasting of the mix of their ice cream flavors, before finishing the treats and moving back to the street. Virgil looked at his watch before looking at Logan. “Do you think we have a bit of time to browse the books? I’m not saying we’re gonna buy anything, just looking at what they have.”

Logan smiled, unable to resist that thought. “Alright, we’ll go look. But no buying anything! We were planning on going there on Friday anyways.”

Virgil laughed. “I know, darling, I know. Just looking, I promise.”

He kept his word, only browsing the book selection and writing a few down for his TBR. Logan also left the bookstore with a few more names added to his To Be Read list as well. They went back to their apartment after that, both studying for the rest of the afternoon before working together to make dinner and discussing their days again.

“Thank you again for bringing those flashcards, Lightning. I would have probably frozen without them.”

Virgil shook his head, swallowing his bite of pasta. “You wouldn’t have frozen. You probably would have thought of something on the spot and come out with an A. You always do.”

Logan smiled, reaching out to cup his cheek. “Thank you, darling. It means a lot to me that you have so much confidence in me.”

[effable-as-f]

[sidespromptblog]

Headcanon:  

Upon realizing that he will most likely never enter a romantic relationship based on who he is, Deceit has become determined to be the best matchmaker/wingsnakeman that he can be for the others in their own romantic crises. He is usually the one pushing Roman to put the work into the flower bouquet he was making for Patton, and even more so encouraging of the creative side to actually give it to him.

He's was the one that actually gave Logan the last little nudge he needed in order to confess in his own dorky way to the side that he had a crush on after months and months of just planning it. He merely told the logical side to just wing it, to not try and plan or control everything, and that it would all be alright. And that if it didn't go okay, then Deceit was waiting right there for him should he need to shed some tears.

It brings him a strange feeling of satisfaction and warmth seeing the others together knowing that he helped them, despite knowing that he'll never have that same love. Because he knows how the others feel about him, he knows that they will never love him in the way that he could possibly love them. And... he's content with that, no matter how much he curls up into his empty bed at night, hugging the long snake pillow to his chest wishing it were an actual person with warmth.

He's really not okay with it, but what is he going to do about it?

It's not like any of the others can actually stand him.

[nachosforfree]

idk how comfortable you are with this but could you write a little thing with aphobic!patton to anyone but virgil? aphobic being arophobic, acephobic, or agenderphobic, any of the three! if you aren't comfortable writing that then maybe just patton yelling at deceit for stimming in front of thomas? sorry for the longish one!

ha oof definitely not basing this off my own fears of coming out as aro

"How can you not feel love?!" Patton asked with an over dramatic gasp.

Remus pursed his lips, narrowing his eyes at Patton. What else should he have expected in telling the other that he was aromantic?

"I mean, I can, just not...that kind of love!"

"But then you can never get to be with that special someone," Patton had a pitying tone in his voice, "I can't imagine living that way…"

"Yeah, you can't." Remus said shortly, already sick of this conversation.

"I just don't understand it! Maybe from Logan, since he doesn't do the whole emotions thing, but how!"

"It doesn't matter if I've got emotions or not," Remus tapped his fingers against his own cheek, resisting the urge to summon a weapon and wipe Patton's face off, "I just don't like people like that."

Patton wasn't listening, still going off about how sad it was that Remus couldn't experience love, and how lonely it must be.

Remus eventually got up and left, going off into the imagination to find something to take his frustrations out on.