#aroexperience

[fynplushbabeyy]

Have this really sweet person that I’ve vibed well with and wants to be in a relationship but I want to introduce them to the idea of qrps and I’m nervous cause I don’t want to seem like some weirdo. Ugh, screw amatonormativity

[took-an-aro-to-my-ace-heart]

I am just so scared I will be alone forever. I am a 15 year old gray aro ace girl. The thing is that I want a relationship but I cant feel that way torwards people. When I say a relationship it is more like a realy realy strong friendship. Or maybe romantic? I have no idea I just dont want to be alone

Hey.

This ask speaks to me. A lot.

Take it from someone who’s been there – you have a lot of time. I’m gray-aro ace, and 21, and I’ve been in a great relationship with somebody I love for the past two years. For me, that took the form of a more traditional girlfriends relationship, but for two other people it could have been different. And you know what? It is a little bit confusing – I got into the relationship by accident, self-identifying as aroace, and it took me over a year to feel like I could say “I love you” truthfully, so I definitely understand what you mean when you say you can’t feel that way towards people. Heck, I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about love and romance, but my girlfriend has been right there supporting me through it the whole time, even though I’m essentially trying to figure out if I’m romantically attracted to her the same way she is to me. And the thing is, I know we’re gonna stick with each other no matter what. She’s more than someone I’m dating – she’s a partner.

I absolutely promise that there are multiple people out there that you could click with relationship-wise, even if it’s platonically or queerplatonically, and it’s just a matter of finding them – which, with the internet, is easier than ever. I strongly caution you against attempting to date online as a minor, because there are all sorts of creeps out there, but once you’re an adult (which is definitely less than a forever from now), just reaching out to ace and aro groups and saying “this is who I am and this is what I want” may be able to help you find people who want the same things as you (assuming you can’t find them in person, which is also a possibility!). Bonus: that gives you a few years to figure out more about what you want out of a relationship!

I’ve been where you are, and I know it sucks, but I promise you won’t be alone forever, and that, even if it takes some trial and error, you will figure out what you’re looking for in a relationship. I won’t lie, it may take some failed ones to get you there, but happiness in love is not out of reach, even for people like you and me. There are people out there willing to love us and be patient with us as we navigate our non-traditional approaches to love.

- Mod Junebug -

[fynplushbabeyy]

Being aromantic has been one hell of a journey, discovering the identity, questioning it, wondering if it was all just all a self-fulfilling prophecy and I was just letting myself believe that that's who I was in order to avoid my own personal issues while internally I found nothing. It was who I was and it felt so perfect. And Lord knows I hated myself so damn much for it. It was like how could I be this thing? This person. Even though it all made so much sense. I grew up friendless, I wasn't exactly a "quiet kid" per se, I mean I spoke up, spoke my mind but essentially I had no crowd, I rarely had company and I never exactly fit in anywhere. This experience allowed me to explore myself even further, before when I joined social media just as it was coming up, guys would flirt with me and I mean I would flirt back all as a game, all for some attention, I mean I was lonely, I was internally desperate to be seen and it was all a game but there was NOTHING. No sense of attachment even, I just liked that someone wanted to actually give me some attention but the whole fixation of locking myself in a relationship has never occurred in any of my relationships, even the ones where we mentally connect and it all feels like the person was God-sent. I could drawl on this forever, lol, but this was really just an appreciation post to the entire aro community out there, for the patience, the education and the love and bringing me into absolutely loving being aro!

[fynplushbabeyy]

Nowadays I'm really into just listening to one song on repeat and vibing to it until I'm exhausted.

[fynplushbabeyy]

What are you guys’ thoughts on males with female best friends?

[fynplushbabeyy]

Is it just me or are there just certain events that situations that happen and they just make you realise how are you are??

[took-an-aro-to-my-ace-heart]

Hey I'm Demiromantic/demisexual and very gay for my best friend but I hate myself for it a lot so I've convinced myself that I'm 100% aro/ace and touch averse. I can't even hug her. It's probably not good for my mental health long term but it makes me feel better about my friend for now (internalized homophobia due to awful parents plus general embarrassment at rejection from said friend). What do you think? Terrible idea or is it an ok coping strategy? For the rest of high school at least.

I’m sorry I let this sit in my inbox for so long, but the truth of the matter is that I don’t know how to answer this question. I’m barely an adult myself, and I’m definitely not an expert on psychology. I can say that I convinced myself of some pretty detrimental stuff during high school, but once I left I gained a healthier, more nuanced view of my own sexuality and romantic orientation via experience and that I feel a lot better for being honest with myself about who i am, even if it’s causing some complications in my relationships. Hypothetically I would say that learning to accept yourself will always be healthier, but I don’t know your situation and I haven’t walked in your shoes.

I’m really sorry, I don’t have a good answer for this one. Followers?

- mod junebug-