oh yeah something important to say, considering I have not played the game in a while my perceptions of themis characters might be somewhat inaccurate 💔🥀
im planning on doing key card story (birthdays and anniversaries) and main story i missed plus just recapping old stuff before I actually go to write anything final but yeah if I say something ever that feels more wildly out of character please correct me im trying my hardest 🥺🙏🙏
I may actually download the game again considering I probably should do that butttt I did quit for a reason as trying to play every day and complete every event for like over 3 years did mess me up and I might fall into that again (I quit after/during the dragon event when I got really busy with schoolwork at the time and was very not okay once I missed the event and contemplated what that meant for me and how it shouldnt have meant that much 😭)
anyways on that note I know all the big stuff at least I swear I love these guys too much just I was a luke girly so that did obviously make it so i got more understanding of luke than the others via the limited card collection ability of an ftp
but anyways I need to stop beating myself up abt this i can technically write them however I want just I do want them to feel right. probably the worst at writing artem since he was the one I was least engaged with at the time but also he is probably the easiest one to write for me still considering the fact that he just has a little less to unpack trauma wise so therefore in my act of feeling like im pretending to know these guys (I do know them just i feel like I dont because of whatever going on up there) he is the simplest and most straightforward. I mean like he also literally is straightforward very cut clean and honest. I feel like vyn and marius are tying for being the hardest to write since both of them have so much going on that also drastically changes how they interact with other people versus rosa versus each other so especially trying to write interactions with the others in nxx in now gay context its difficult since with the crumbs we have (besides for how vyn and marius interact with each other) im just left to fill in blanks that could be executed in very different ways but still justified as possible within the personality and behavior of such complex characters. ah shucks the characters are too complex and well done, whatever will I do! im definitely not overjoyed at this situation despite my doubts (to be fair they def arent perfect as thats where headcannons come in but like im very happy with the food being served to me)
but yeah its wonky the way that damn mr "I seem self assured and confident since im so bold and cocky outwardly but I actually struggle with letting people in because i cant tell if their only using me or going to harm me and im always at odds with the fact that i must be the perfect popular heir but thats not who i really am" and mr "I cant ever do anything that is for myself and satisfies my needs because im the worst person on earth because I cant protect or properly love anyone I care about without hurting them" are so made to kiss each other. Luke's earnestness and just oozing will to do good can comfort marius and break down his problems with trusting others (until luke's illness comes into play and then marius feels like luke doesnt trust him the same way he does with him), they both have problems with identity and self worth due to having to live two different types of double lives yet still fundamentally similar (where one is yearning for an escape from the light and the other is yearning to finally be visible in it), and they both suck at taking care of themselves while also not wanting the one they love to be in pain like ever. They can at times definitely amplify each other's faults but even though its a bit of a bumpy ride they can eventually grow to compliment each other so completely.
same thing with mr "I must be the image of perfection because I view myself as so inwardly flawed but i desperately yearn to be vulnerable" and mr "I am the image of perfection but because I've been "perfect" for so long I don't know how to be vulnerable" where the contrast in the fact that vyn understands all emotion while artem understands none but are so similar in the fact that their perfectionism fractures their ability to be complete people. they like REALLY need to kiss.
but yeah if that sounded spot on enough then im fine and need to stop doubting my abilities over here.