Conversations with Arthur
Arthur comforting reader after watching Folie a deux
This is for all of you who love him
Word count: 2000
Warnings : None really. Slight mention of a panic attack
Genre : Comfort
Your eyes avoided the screen quite some time before credits started rolling. Arthurs comforting voice echoed from the speakers of the theatre, singing promising words about the future. How could they? How dare they to play his voice in a hopeful tune after what you just saw? You kept your red face, swollen from crying so hard buried inside your shaking hands. You didnt wanted to catch any attention from the people who still remained in their seats. They must think you're crazy. And at the same same time you didn’t care anymore.
You didnˋt care about the fact that your crying must have been louder than Arthurs soft voice singing. You didnˋt care about anything anymore. The one thing you cared about most had just been taken away from you. That one person who helped you making it through the past 5 years of your life. Arthur Fleck. He who understood you the way you understood him. He who comforted you during your worst days and ugliest breakdowns. Your love. Your light.
They dared to blow out his candle which was the only fllicker left inside of you. They took him away, making it seem like nothing but a bad punchline. He who deserved so much better. Who still belived in love after all he had been through. Arthur, the man who finally came to terms with who he is. Was that the price he had to pay for being his sweet self? Was that the price you had to pay for loving a man who needed love more than anything in his life?
„….but how can it recognize you, if you donˋt step ot into the light, the light…“
It was the first time ever his voice couldnˋt make you feel better. Even though it sounded like a distance whisper from heaven itself. True love will find you in the end.
He is your true love. And you long to be his. Whatˋs left to do now? Left to cling onto? Arthur….please stop singing. I love you so much. I need you here. I need you here physically. I need your tiney body in my arms. I need to feel that you are real. Donˋt sing unless your mouth is forming these words right beneath my ear. Donˋt sing unless you see in how much pain I am griefing you. Donˋt sing unless I feel your breath on my cheek.
You still heard his voice after the curtain had closed. It was time to stand up and leave the cinema minutes ago but you physically couldnt . Moving seemed impossible, opening your eyes seemed like a violent act. The speakers didnt play any music anymore but you still heard him. „Donˋt be sad I know you will….but donˋt give up until...“
It was getting harder and harder to breathe. The dizziness coming over you was overwhelming. A panick attack was setting in. You wanted to leave this place but…No you didnt. You had to stay. There must be another scene after all. Another ending. This is nothing but a bad joke. The red curtain will open and the screen will reveal the real ending of the movie. It has to. You cannot go home like that and accept what you just saw. This man deserved to live. To live a better life. To reveive support. To be seen and loved.
Arthur!
Please stay with me. I
I know you are still alive. Credits rolled way too quickly…..They tricked us real bad, didnt they? A cliffhanger…itˋs just….a deusion….the title of the movie is Folie a deux after all.
Amd then you blacked out .
A bright light lulling you in as you opened your eyes. The curtains of the cinema changed their colors to blue, red orange and yellow. The curtains of the Murray Franklin show. The colors Arthur imagined the black umbrellas to be.
The room was empty except for you and…..
Arthur????
You must have hallucinated. Arthur was sitting on the seat beside you. A concerned look on his face, as he tendlerly layed his hand on your knee „Y/N“ he whispered. „Donˋt be sad….I donˋt want you to be sad“.
You shifted within your seat to face him as you tried to catch your breath. „Thats….thatˋs not….posssible…“
Arthur pulled out a handkerchief with the words „Worldˋs best comedian“ stitched on it. For a quick moment you felt almost happy about that fact that someone must have given it to him , which means that he is appreciated by someone who thinks heˋs funny. You always thought that he was funny in a adorable and unique kinda way. If only you could make him happy by laughing about his jokes.
You took the handkerchief and felt bad about wiping your face and cleaning your nose with it. It must be so precious to him.
„Arthur….I ….“
It was impossible to form words. Impossible to say anything. Your only instinct left was to take him into your arms. To feel if he was real. If he was a body made of flesh and bones. If he had physical form that would have a weight to it. You wanted him to exist so baldy.. Somehow you always knew that he did.
You looked into his eyes for the very first time and not into a screen. It was him and every single line on his face was him. It was his curls stroking your cheek softly when you finally out your arms around his fragile body. It was his arms crossing behind your shoulders, letting you sink deeper into his embrace.
Arthur
It was Arthur
And he was so much realer than he was on screen.
You never wanted to let him go. You wanted this to be your final moment. Let the curtains close here. Let the curtains of your own story close right at this moment. You didnˋt need any moment to follow after this. Let his arms around you be the final act.
It was uncertain who loosened the embrace fist but it didnˋt felt like it loosened. It only did so you could look into each others eyes.
He looked at you in silence. Arthur never was a man of many words. The expression of his face spoke volumes. He felt your pain. He empathized. You were the same.
„Arthur….how is that even possible? Am I hallucinating?“
Arthur pulled out a cigarette, lit it and too a deep drag. His left hand searching for your own hand, covering it like a protective shield. „What does it matter?“ he shrugged slightly „I am with you anyways….I always was.“
Your teary eyes observed his beautiful sillhouette. Arhur was so much stronger than it seemed. You could have sworn that a bright aura surrownding his figure. Almost like a protective shield.
He was save. Arthur was save.
„I always feel your presence, Arthur…“
He blew out some smoke, making intense eye contact „Thatˋs because Iˋm with you“
„Really? I thought I was just….daydreaming. You know…wishful thinking“
„Well….“ Arthur chuckled „Thatˋs how itˋs always starting, isnˋt it?“
He closed his eyes as he leaned back into the seat „As some kind of dream I mean“
You coudnˋt take your eyes off him. Arthur was even more handsome in person. From his soft curls, to his strong eyebrows, the shape of his nose, the scar on his upper lip….
Your hand reached out to touch the fabric of his brown cardigan, to see if it felt real.
Arthur finished his cigarette ,laughing as you pulled your hand away out of nervousness. You spent the last five years loving this man and yet you werenˋt sure if it was allowed to touch him as you wanted to.
„Itˋs okay Y/N….you can touch me. Come here!“
He shifted in his seat, took your hand and put it on his face . Hs skin was soft, freshly shaved. „See? Iˋm real.“
He grinned. „Funy isnˋt it? I never thought I could say this with such confidence. I am real. I never felt real for most of my life“ . Arthurs voice dropped for a second „Sometimes I felt like other people made me up in ther minds and I am just a fool playing out their fantasies like….“
„Like what Arthur?“ you caressed his shoulder softly.
„Like in this movie…“
You immediately felt a lump in your throat as he mentioned it. Your mind went back to what you just saw. Arthur on the ground.
„But you know what?“ he sighed „They make movies about me all the time. I mean. There is a movie within the movie.“
He put his hand on your hand which still remained on his shoulder „There was a cartoon even. Do you think it was funny?“
You didnˋt knew what to say. The last thing you wanted to talk about was the movie you just saw. All you wanted to concentrate on was that Arthur was sitting right beside you and he seemed pretty much alive.
„Um…nevermind. Just sing a song with me okay? It will make you feel better….“
All of the sudden he twitched. His hand touching his stomach.
„Arthur, are you okay?“
„Yeah…“
„Are you sure?“
You lifted his cardigan to check. You felt that he was more than okay with that.
His skin was unharmed. Not only that but a bright, green light was coming from his belly.
„Itˋs just an echo from different timelines…. Nothing the healing light of archangel Raphael canˋt fix“ he smiled. „You know….they are with you, Just like I am. The angels I mean….and let me tell you. They know some good jokes. Sometimes they even laugh at my dark humor but donˋt tell anyone“.
You placed your hand underneath his belly button.
„The angels healed you?“
Arthur chuckled in a shy way „And your love did“
He reached out to touch your face but wasnˋt confident enough to do so.
„Itˋs okay ,Arthur…..you can touch me. Itˋs more than okay. In my dreams we touch each other all the time“ you felt yourself blushing.
Arthurs fingers traveled over your face as if he was reading braille.
„Itˋs good to know that you are real,too“ he said almost to himself.
„I always was…but I think I became more real after loving you,Arthur“
„So letˋs make each other real, huh?“ he mumbled.
„You are not just imaginary, like they said in court….“ He added. „Not just a fantasy in my diary…“
It was only now that you realized that you still had Arthurs handkerchief.
„Oh, I am sorry I still have your…“
„You can keep it.“
„No…..Arthur….that must have been a personal gift from someone special….WORLDS BEST COMEDIAN…itˋs yours!“
He took it, only to put it in your pocket „You are right. It really is from someone special. I never forget the day when you gifted it to me for my birthday. Remember, darling? When we first found out that my birthday was really my birthday? That was kinda special….“
He stood up from his seat, one hand rubbing his tummy. Everything was fine.
„What….what do you mean, Arthur? I gifted it to you?“
The worldˋs best comedian bend forward to give you a tight hug „You know there is a timline where we met decades ago and movies are made about our love and they all have a happy ending. This is where I am going now.“
He kissed your cheek and you felt like youˋve been marked with bliss.
„Iˋll meet you there, darling“ his voice echoed through the cinema room as the light around him grew bigger.
„Besides…I totally forgot to sing you the song….“
You felt a smile crossing your face. No movie could take that away from you. No movie could take him away from you.
„I love you, Arthur“ you whispered.
Arthur faded into bright light as he smiled back at you and sang
„Whippoorwills call, eveninˋ is nigh
Hurry to my, blue heaven
Turn to the right, thereˋs a little white light
Will lead you to my, blue heaven
Youˋll see a smiling face, fireplace, a cosy room
Little nest that nestle where the roses bloom
Just honey and me, and the baby makes three
Weˋre so happy in my, blue heaven“