I wish just once. Just once people recognised how fucking much i suffer(ed) from being disabled. That I didn't have to make it so painfully fucking obvious and still not really remembered. I wish I didn't have to argue/defend how I fucking feel. That I didn't have to stand up for how fucking exhausted and shit I am. Just once. I wish. Literally anyone. Would've seen and fucking understood. That I am disabled and burnt out. And that the path everyone wanted me to be on would've destroyed me. But. No. I had to defend myself so much. Stand for myself, assert myself, cause nobody fucking listened to me. They "caring" for an idealized version of me that doesn't fucking exist. The systems and people meant to help me just working against me. Maybe I wouldn't be where I am now if. Even one person. Noticed. And said something. Instead of me. Having to realise it. And be confused. Forced into a position where I had to either ruin myself mentally or stop completely.