#ascend fic

[wanderingcas]

hi friend. I left the spn fandom in 2016 and tried to not look back. I kept up online with what happened in the finale, and even got excited for like a week about again, only to have my heart broken by the show again :(. I decided to give fanfic a try again, and read your fix-it fix ascend. It both healed me and broke me at the same time, and now I’m sucked back into all this dean/cas heartache and it’s difficult to say the least 😭. All this to say, will you still be writing the sequel one day? I know it’s like 3 years ago now and I’m super late to this but i need more of that spn universe specifically. Thank you for writing it 🥺

HI!! oh my god i think i'm *checks watch* a hundred years late to respond to this i am so so sorry. my tumblr presence has been spotty at best

i am so glad that you enjoyed reading the fic again!! it broke and healed me to write it, honestly! I've always thought about a sequel for it actually... I had a lot of thoughts about where that iteration of Dean and Cas would go next. I might at the very least do a timestamp? Because I had a very specific future in mind for them and it feels a little unfinished. So keep your eyes peeled for that :)

either way, I'm so glad that you enjoyed it!! I loved writing that fic and I'm happy to hear people are still reading it every once in a while :)

[lovelazarus]

fic rec list

(these are just my top fics as I continue reading new stuff! these are potentially subject to change/be added onto as I read more, the top 2 are pretty set in stone though- REMEMBER TO READ WARNINGS ON EACH FIC!)

#1, So Says The Sword by komodobits || 85k (this changed me so DEEPLY) ✿

#2, Four Letter Word for Intercourse by bendingsignpost || 194k ❖✧

#3, oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith by sobsicles || 62k @sobsicles ​ ✿

#4, Sweet Dreams and Scattershot (series) by Elliedew || 528k (HEARTWRENCHING) ✧✿

#5, Ascend by quiettewandering  || 50k @wanderingcas ♡

#6, Teaching Poetry To Fish by aeli_kindara || 52k (holy shit this opened my soul to the universe) ✿

#7, And This, Your Living Kiss by opal_bullets || 56k (this made me get back into poetry & now im working on my own poetry book!) ❖✿

#8, Fire and Ice by Castielslostwings || 189k ❖✧(x2)

[wanderingcas]

in honor of denying the finale, here’s the last chapter of ascend <3

[wanderingcas]

title: ascend pairing: dean/cas tags: Post s15e19 Inherit the Earth, fix-it, angst with a happy ending [banner by the talented @woefulcas​​]

Something is wrong in the world.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?

Posting begins on Thursday, December 3rd on ao3.

[wanderingcas]

not me trying to shatter the toxic codependency over 15 seasons between two brothers in one conversation

[wanderingcas]

title: ascend pairing: dean/cas tags: Post s15e19 Inherit the Earth, fix-it, angst with a happy ending [banner by the talented @woefulcas]

Chapter 8 

“What’s your favorite memory of him?” Sam had asked. It was a few weeks after Cas died, when Sam was deep in the mourning trenches with Dean. Eileen had gone to bed long ago, but Sam stayed up with Dean like he usually did those days, drinking with him at the war table.

Dean tilted the tumbler glass toward his mouth, the whiskey burning his throat. He stared up at the ceiling as he chewed on the question. It was his third drink, and the plaster was starting to spin.

“It’s dumb,” he admitted.

Sam leaned forward, his chin hitting the table. He grinned up at Dean as he whispered, “I don’t care. I am drunk .”

Scoffing, Dean set the glass down. He ran his finger around the rim. “You go first.”

“Well, that’s easy.” Sam straightened, his face split into a smile. “Remember that hunt where we had to check out that haunting at a carnival? And Cas was bitching out the stall vendors for having a rigged game when he couldn’t knock over that last bottle?”

Dean smiled. “Yeah. He was trying to win a teddy bear for Claire.”

“Yes. That time.” Sam frowned, taking a sip of beer. “Although I don’t even remember why he was there in the first place.”

“We prayed to him, after we ganked that ghost. Thought we’d get a kick out of an angel at a carnival.”

Cas had showed up looking very disappointed, refusing to partake in anything until Dean shoved him over to a stall, teasing him into trying out a game. Cas had rolled his eyes, but did what Dean said; even had a small smile on his face as he knocked over a stack of bottles and Dean cheered.

Dean could never understand why Cas did it: bent over backwards for Dean like that.

Well. Now he knew why.

[keep reading on ao3]

[wanderingcas]

(don’t mind me while i frantically post spoilers of my fic at 1 am because i’m making myself feel pain so you all have to feel it with me)

“‘Dean’s top 13 Zapp Traxx’?” Crowley read the title out loud, hissing loudly on the x’s. “What is this, some kind of audio porn?” 

Cas grabbed Crowley’s other wrist, his eyes flashing a bright blue. “Drop it,” he snapped. 

“All right, all right. Cool it.” Crowley primly placed the tape into Cas’s open palm. He adjusted his coat, frowning at the dashboard. “So, lover boy finally go soft on you or something?”

“No.” Cas held the mixtape protectively in his lap. “Dean gave it to me for long road trips. Since it’s harder for me to fly lately.”

Crowley rolled his eyes. “I’d barf if I still had a gag reflex.” 

They sat in silence. The plastic encasing the mixtape clicked as Cas tapped a fingernail against it nervously. Finally, Crowley popped his lips, sighing. 

“You know, if I were you: I’d regret it. The whole thing. This jerking back and forth… it’s like some sort of demented dance with him. Never stops.” 

A muscle popped in Cas’s jaw. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure you don’t.” Crowley’s voice dripped with sarcasm. “And, here. Let me give you a little spoiler.” He reached over to sharply pat Cas on the knee. “It only ends in heartbreak. You don’t think you have a heart for him to break. But he’ll find it. And he’ll break it.” Winking, Crowley clicked his tongue. “Keep that in mind, angel.” 

[wanderingcas]

dean is such a fucking superhero. i love him. i love writing him. he’s brave and good and kicks ASS