#asexual writer problems

[pigeontheoneandonly]

As a thirty-five-year-old person, I should not still be this embarrassed describing things in my writing that could be considered slightly risque.  I think as an asexual person I’m always just so worried I’m going to get it wrong, like when you describe another culture, even though it’s nowhere near that serious.

[high-pot-in-noose]

Me: *sees all these poetry posts for the sexy poetry thing going on*

Me: "I wish I could write like that!"

Also me: "Ew. I am too ace for this shit."

[pigeontheoneandonly]

My asexual ass:  Is this thing I’m writing sexy or cringey or just fifty miles deep into uncanny valley?

[kittenjedi]

Friend Family member: If you're asexual, why do you read and write romance novels and write sex?

Me: Because I feel fundamentally broken for being indifferent towards sex when it comes to myself. Because I love the strong emotional bonds these fictional people can form. Because it is the ultimate fantasy; these people can enjoy physical intimacy in a way I never did and never will, and that is fantastic.

[beranyth-inactive]

I think I'm going to finally allow Cesly to be gray-a

I hesitated on it for MANY YEARS because she was one of those characters that I accidentally wrote as ace-spectrum because I didn't know what ace-spectrum was and used my own experiences as a reference.  Once I figured out that I was basically writing all of my characters as demisexual or asexual when they were intended to be sexual, I got really embarrassed about the fact and started trying to compensate in the opposite direction (especially for my female characters, cause of the sexuality = empowerment psuedofeminist myth) and trying to research just how often non-ace people experience attraction and wtf it is even is because HELL IF I KNOW

But for her it's always seemed to clash with how I envisioned her, and now that I'm a lot more comfortable with letting my female characters be ace-spectrum without worrying who will judge me for it, I'm gonna stop fighting it and go back to my original concept

[miladydevon]

much as i enjoy writing smut (which, incidentally, has been helping me deal with the sudden SEX REPULSION i've been experiencing lately), i don't really feel like it's all that needed for me to enjoy a fic? and consequently, unless i'm consciously intending to write it, i usually...won't? but idk i feel like PG-13 fics or R-rated fics without a great deal of sex/sex-related writing tends to be a thing that fandom seems...almost *proud* to avoid. i've unfortunately seen a lot of people be like "NC-17 OR NOTHING" and "PENETRATIVE SEX HAS TO HAPPEN BEFORE I'LL READ IT" or some other such fucking nonsense. :/ and like i said, i don't mind reading/writing sex scenes at all, but i don't need it and sometimes i actually, actively, do not want it. and it's really frustrating to feel excluded from fandom in that sense.

(this isn't directed at anyone or anything in particular but just something i've been mulling over for a while and it's aggravating i guess >.< considering i'm writing a lot of fic rn that probably will like...have some physical intimacy/etc. but unless i plan for it i'll likely end up forgoing the sex? idk.)