#asexuality challenge

[ace-angel]

To kick off my new blog, I’m going to be doing the 30 Day Asexuality Challenge! (should be a snap, I’ve been asexual for way more than thirty days.) Anyway this is blanket permission to reblog any of them if something I say resonates with you. Ace experiences should be talked about.

[commanderace2224]

Asexual Challenge: Day 5

Tell the story of the first person you came out to: The first person I can out to, like really came out to, was my friend Tabby. I was questioning at the time and had talked through some issues with her and my friend Amanda a few times. After my rather emotional night where I realized I was ace, I struggled out to tell people. I decided to start with those two. I talked to Tabby first, since I talked to her more often than Amanda. It was kinda freeing to tell her and she was actually really open about it and helped me feel safe and secure in my sexuality. She also has been the most awesome and supportive friend ever through all the trials I’ve gone through. I really didn’t believe I was ace until I told her I was and she said it made sense. She didn’t tell I just wasn’t trying hard enough or that I hadn’t been with the right person or that she had known. It had just made sense to her when I said it. 

[ayy-is-for-aroace-autumn-blog]

30 day asexuality challenge

3. How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it? I guess I started to realize it when I was 15 and wasn't totally having the same feelings as everyone else, I just assumed I was a late bloomer. I learned the term "asexual" when I was like 16 and I was like "maybe? nah" then I got a boyfriend when I was just turning 17 who I was really close with and we were together for awhile. And when he was ready for a sexual I was like "um sure why not" (I'm sex neutral) and like I wasn't sexually attracted to him, but I really liked hanging out with him and everything and I guess he's the closest thing to romantic love I ever got. Complications happened. We never actually did the do. I came to the full realization I was asexual probably like a year ago. I'm 18 now. I try to deny it sometimes because like media makes me feel like I'm wrong but then I'm like "no but ok this is me" and I love myself so that's okay.

[aglassabyss]

Day 5 - Tell the story of the first person you came out to.

The first person I came out to was probably my old social worker from a couple years ago. This was in my guessing period where I just spit out "I think I'm asexual". I remember I'd ask to be in places no one really goes to whenever I met with her. This day, I was in a parking lot near the mall near my school. I said those words to her and she asked me what it was and where I heard of it. What I really wanted, I suppose, was material - information - on asexuality so I could explore it more. But really how could I to someone who just learned about it? Our meeting ended and I couldn't help but feel that it wasn't enough.

[aglassabyss]

Day 4 - Do you identify as a part of the queer community?

I do! One of the reasons why was because of the GSA club at my high school. Everyone there was so open-minded and appreciative of all orientations and identities. A lot of them knew what asexuality was. That was such a relief to me, I really needed that - being understood. Even if some didn't know that I was asexual, I was welcomed anyways. That was my little queer community.

A reason I feel that asexuality is part of the queer community is not only that it is not heterosexual, but also that it's generally looked down upon in our heteronormative society. We get labels put on us and stereotyped against. We get confused on who we love, how we feel and beat ourselves up for not feeling things that we're taught that we should. Even if we don't face the same challenges other identities face in a queer community, we are affected in the same way. Did that even make sense?

[aglassabyss]

Day 3 - How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it?

16 years old. I think the first time I ever heard of asexuality was from this youth program I went to where they talked about LGBTQQIAAP+ through powerpoint presentation. The speaker worked at the youth centre and went through all those letters... (yes... there were two As...) where one was Asexual. It was simply "someone who doesn't experience attraction to anyone". But that one slide made me question myself.

I was dumb though, and pushed that thought away.

The one actual moment when I truly truly realized I was asexual was when I was reflecting on a past relationship and why it failed (Also in My Ace Story) in the same year. I always felt that something was wrong, and it wasn't the other person...but me. Sorry, I'd rather not get into the details again... I really regret not knowing about asexuality sooner... the breakup would have been so much simpler... I felt that asexuality just explained so much of my life that I had been confused on.

[aglassabyss]

Day 2 - Are you out? To whom?

I’m out of the pantry to three of my closest friends, three other friends, one housemate, anyone who reads the sidebar of my blog and an old counsellor…

One of the good things about asexuality is that it’s not easily seen, so I prefer to keep quiet about it. No questions asked, no answer given.

[aglassabyss]

Day 1 - What is your romantic/sexual orientation

Definitely asexual, you can read up on My Ace Story if you're curious. Considering romantic orientation though, I'm still pretty confused. Especially with the notions of androromantic and gynoromantic... But I am a very romance-needy person.