#asexuality discourse

[riseandshineace]

[aphobic-mallek]

im Back.

The majority of exclusionists as far as I know literally think asexuality is valid so the "ace people are VALID unfriend / unadd me if you think not!" thing is so?? thinking someone with no sga and who isnt trans isnt LGB or T doesnt...mean someone thinks they're inherently invalid. Also not "aphobia" either. Also plenty of exclusionists are LITERALLY asexual, some LGBT and some not. Including myself!

[themostbritishamerican]

not to state the obvious but if the lgbtq+ community doesnt get its shit together and like stop arguing about who is and is not valid we will never have enough power to fight against real oppression from cishet society

[xoangstyjesus]

I have worse problems than people not wanting asexuals at Pride or whatever discourse is going on, like mental health shit I don't even know how to handle, but one of those problems is my mom angrily yelling at me that I need to fix my brain for being asexual, my whole family pressuring me into finding a boyfriend and telling me I have problems and I'm not normal for not wanting one, my parents not allowing me to stand up from the chair until I "confess" my sexuality and neighbors spreading rumours about me just because I'm 21 and still single.

Exlude me all you want and have your opinions, but at least fucking learn some manners.

I'm still not homophobic even after reading some nasty comments, but I can't say the same thing for some of you, since it takes some ace pieces of shit to hate us all.

[heyitstheseljukturks]

I dont know what to do.

When I came out to my sister and mom as asexual, it was fine. Of course they love me, Of course they support me, Of course they dont care what I label myself as long as Im happy. 

But nothing’s changed. And I mean nothing.

I cant mention not wanting sex, or not feeling attraction without it being debated. Without it being treated as a phase, as “You might change your mind”, as “You will someday”, as “You havent met the right person yet”. Yeah, they dont care what I label myself as long as Im happy. But happy is so concretely defined. Happy is marrying a man, and happy is have children. Happy is having sex. And Yes I know, that my opinions and feelings could change and I may want that in time. I know. But I also know that could not happen too. And I also know thats not what I want now. And that should be okay. 

But idk how to tell them. Im so scared to talk about it. To have a real conversation. To make them understand. Because I dont know if they ever could. Because to them happiness is marrying a man, and happiness is having kids. Happiness is having sex. 

So idk what to do.

[myr-curial]

Y'all keep telling ace people to make their own space instead of invading LGBT spaces but then you flood the ace tag with discourse, make fun of ace people when they post about their experiences, and alienate people from resources that could help them.

It costs $0 to not destroy every attempt ace people make at creating a safe space for themselves.

[keisumis]

dear ace people

i’m trying to make a long youtube video on the psychology, history, etc. of asexual people. 

although i’m what you cool kids consider an exclusionist i’m gonna try to have a more open minded take on this community so 

1. i can not only help people who just don’t understand asexuality

2. hopefully add onto research of asexuality

[guitarlove6437]

I’m just...really mad right now about how much exclusionists hate aro/aces. Like.....fucking why?  Let me tell you guys a story. Way, way back when I was about 17 I started identifying as asexual (I still ID as grey-ace). I went to visit some relatives and I told them I was ace and explained what it was. They then proceeded to tell me I was too young to know, I needed to find the right guy, sex is fun and not disgusting, etc. When I told my mom, she thought it meant I never wanted to date anyone ever.  Then I discovered years later I was a lesbian, and for me personally, the kind of oppression I felt as an ace and a lesbian were different. As a lesbian, many people I know think I’m disgusting and/or “inherently have problems” (that’s my dad speaking generally). Whereas as an ace, some people think I’m not even human. Maybe this is because of personal experiences I won’t get into, but I don’t think it’s fair to compare these kind of oppressions. Especially when people go all “well aces don’t get kicked out of their houses!” or “they don’t get raped!” 1. How do you know for certain no asexual and/or aromantic have not been kicked out of their housing or family?  2. Yes, yes they do get raped. And yes it’s for almost the same bullshit logic gay/lesbian/bi people get raped. To try and turn them straight.  3. For fucking sake, the number 1 thing I got told all the time as an out ace is “you haven’t met the right guy yet” how fuck is that any different as an out lesbian??????