Shane should get to be unabashedly horny about his husband while Troy and Harris are frequently fucking and/or making out in Harris' offic and it all embarrasses the rookies in the same way kids get embarrassed abt their parents having sex

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Shane should get to be unabashedly horny about his husband while Troy and Harris are frequently fucking and/or making out in Harris' offic and it all embarrasses the rookies in the same way kids get embarrassed abt their parents having sex
For the IF-Verse what’s the centaurs reaction to the ripped shorts post 👀👀
Harris has to remind everyone that they are not supposed to comment on current/former (Alexander) teammate's sexual histories even if their non-hockey playing partner makes a public post about it!
Which means there's a good week of only Shane and Troy doing press coverage bc they're the only two Harris can trust to talk to the press while this is swirling (Ash is cackling in the background).
Privately?
The duckling group chat minorly explodes bc Alex opened the floodgates with "what part of 'please leave me in the dark abt your sex life' wasn't clear?" and everyone pointing out that technically Alex didn't have to look at Ash's posts (Alex is frustrated bc he's being a supportive brother!!) The ducklings are all some variation of "get it" and other supportive phrases.
The first practice after Ash posts it Luca comes into the Cens locker room to wolf-whistles and chirping.
Part of the reason this fic is set when it is is to bridge the gap between barely starting to find his feet/confidence Luca at the end of IF:Deal to the much more confident, default leader/elder in the group chats of OtFC.
So he's not actually that embarrassed by the post, and he fully chirps back and is very proud of himself! Like yes, his husband* is very hot and yes he does get to fuck him and no he will not have patience for clothes being in the way! If Ash's gonna complain about Luca ingesting too much oil paint then he'll just have to tear his way to his prize :D
*again they're not legally married atp but everyone forgets this fact constantly
So my brain will not leave the haasbands alone and more specifically pregnant ash alone for reasons that I am not ready to investigate! So! Do you have any ideas about like where and how the twins were conceived? And when does Ash tell Luca he thinks he’s pregnant?
I absolutely do!
They start trying fall of 2027, and like I said previously, it's almost embarassing how quick it goes 🤣
The timeline basically goes: Ash spends the summer getting weened off his antidepressants/stopping HRT/taking out his IUD so Luca can be there 24/7 to make sure he's okay, Ash is fully in the clear right as the training camp and regular season start up which is when they start "actively" trying. The only difference is that they have a day circled on the calendar for Ash to take tests (they want to avoid false positives or negatives so he takes many at one time). Ash clues in when Vincent, who usually does headbuts on Ash's chin/face to demand cuddles, is instead pressing his forehead into Ash's stomach and sitting on it in a lil doughnut purring like an engine.
Butttt Luca is on a road trip and they (successfully) timed it so that Ash would be at term around the start of the offseason (which is an actual thing WAGs try to do bc there is no paternity leave in the NHL and a lot of WAGs who are due during the season have induction dates scheduled around games). Which means it's the first road trip of the season when Vincent starts being weird.
Aaaaand it means that Ash is, possibly, already pregnant at the Centaurs' first game against Montreal of the season AKA the first chapter of OtFC. He is definitely pregnant by chapter 4, which references the game Ottawa plays in Montreal which was part of that first roadtrip.
So it's literally in the background the whole time Mac and Aris are being dumbasses.
hi hello I cannot stop thinking about the IF-verse ever but more specifically luca and ash bc i adore them so so so much and theyre my everything!!!!!!!! also out of curiosity, after going off of everything how long did it take ash to get pregnant??? idk i just. as an afab person who was kinda raised in a similar culture to ash's family the fact that he got out, he still wanted kids, and healed to a point where he could carry his own kids is everything to me. and just i just KNOW he and luca would be incredible dads and i really hope we get to see that in future IF-Verse fics!!!!!!! and then last thing for now i think anyway! do you have any headcanons about luca and ash when ash was pregnant and them as dads from when they had newborns into when the twins were toddlers and whatnot?
Oh they got pregnant right away to the point Ash is almost embarrassed how quickly that lil line turned pink.
They weren’t even really actively trying. Of you remember the age gaps betwen Luca and his sisters, hos family has had struggles w firtility before, so doing the “not trying but not not trying” was a way to like, not get their hopes up. Plus if Ash crashed and needed to go back on his antidepressants and/or T then that wouldn’t be as much of a heartbreak thing since they “weren’t really trying anyway”.
They just stopped using birth control after Ash was weaned off his antidepressants and stopped his HRT. And like, within Ash’s first month being completely free of everything he ended up pregnant.
The first person Ash tells is Yuna, because the Cens are on a roadie and Yuna is the only person in Ash’s close chosen family who’s been pregnant. They don’t say anything to anyone else (including Shane and Ilya) until after the All Stars game. Which is why Mac doesn’t mention it.
But that first Christmas Aris spends with the Hol-Roz family? Yeah Ash is pregnant there.
They do, however, end up waiting to tell other people because Ash gets An Idea. They wait because by that point a lot of the Ducklings have been traded/signed to other teams. So they put an event in the shared calendar when they all are either playing Ottawa or Montreal, or have a day off. Ash tells Harris he has a PowerPoint and makes the ducklings sit through it.
Ash standing there with the first slide having an actual title abt long distance friendships. He clicks the next slide, it reads “I lied”. The next slide is a sonogram of the twins with their due date on the screen. Chaos happens.
No one tells Ilya or Shane tho bc they wanna tell Shane and Ilya and Mac together so they have to wait for a day when Mac’s in town.
They tell the Hollander-Rozanovs the same way Sveta told the Hol-Rozes that the implantation was successful: t-shirts. Shane and Ilya’s have “best godfather” on them, Mac’s has “best uncle”. There are tears. Ilya and Ash just hold each other for a bit because look how far they’ve come. They both have children, have families that would die for and live for them, they made it through the worst bits and are building better futures one step at a time.
As for them as dads well! They raise the twins completely gender neutral, kids start to express gender identity around 3 which is when they find out they have one son and one gender-ooblek child who prefers she/her most often. They do have a gender reveal party for the twins’ fourth birthdays.
The kids grow up spending as much time outside as inside, Ilya accidentally starts the trend of making sure all the kids in their family network speak Russian as well as any other languages. Aris slides in with some Greek. They learn Swiss-German specifically, though some weirdness happens with Janz visiting as often as he does (which tbf is because he’s the twins’ uncle through marriage as well as Duckling) and their French is mostly Quebecois French.
Ash and Alex both end up deconstructing a lot of their relationship (esp the bad bits) so they can make sure that Ash’s twins don’t grow up with the same borderline unhealthy enmeshment that Ash and Alex have. Which mostly comes down to parenting choices early on that are easy to make.
People who don't write are largely unaware of the fact that, sometimes, your characters will just Do Things. You don't tell them to do the thing, they just do it.
For example:
Ash keeps trying to put himself in danger in this fantasy AU I'm writing where I needed a non-hockey character (that couldn't be any of the canon love interests) and he was the easiest to grab bc he's already mine.
I do not want Ash to enter the torment nexus. In fact he's supposed to be calm and happy with his cute lil fluff ball familiar. But no.
Instead Ash is popping up ready to fucking die to spur on the Heroes' Quest.
So! Building off of my last ask! What’s the public’s response to ash’s post?
So in my mind Luca's PR image is veryyyy similar to Shane's: clean image, national sports icon, he's less visible in Canada but p well known in Switzerland (and wider Europe, even if it's as "that sports drink hockey guy"). Even with the literal imprint of Ash's hand on his neck in like, 70-80% of the interviews he gives and the chain he wears that is obviously a collar to anyone who knows even a little bit abt kink.
Tumblrina Luca Haas gets to witness his rpf hollanov shipper mutuals getting split on "oh no Hollanov's sweet innocent baby boy is being corrupted" and "fucking get it fuck yeah boy". Cue a social media video that has Harris asking the team what things they've heard about themselves that are outright wrong. Luca just stares straight into the camera and goes "that I'm a sweet innocent baby being corrupted by my husband". Ilya is losing it in the background.
There's 100% weird think pieces abt the debauchery of hockey by The Queers. Luca and Ash don't really gaf abt it, they're not gonna argue with journalists for shitrags that are determined to hate them either way.
It does 100% impact Mac, tho. He sees the coverage Ash and Luca get first hand, as it's happening, and it contributes to him being much more careful/choosey sharing his relationship with Aris. When he proposes it's public so no one can say shit happened that didn't. When they get married they choose an outlet to get/take the photos so they can be hands off with the coverage. V much a culmination of all the queer players in the NHL before them, but the Haas bands are the only ones where Mac is right there as this photo is being reshared and talked about like it's proof the devil is real.
Gives him a great list of outlets to never ever talk to too!
Hi hello ok so i was rereading instant family deal and noticed something. Is the baby yarn blanket that Yuna sent with Luca to the hospital the same one she gives them at the baby shower? or is it a different one?
Different one! It's about 5ish years between the two, and baby yarn has a habit of wearing away in weird places with constant use. Ash and Luca 100% wore that original blanket down to almost nothing between the two of them (it's Ash's buddy when watching Luca's games live on TV when there's nothing he can do if Luca gets hurt) and Yuna 100% noticed and made sure to give them a new one for the baby shower.
after the vibrators post, i’m curious…
what are the haasbands favorite toys?
Oh hohohohoho dear nonny you have given me a GIFT!!!!
I have thought extensively about the Haasband's toy collection and polluted not only my own search history but my partner's and my friend's search history :D