ash steals shirts. you can pry this headcanon from my cold dead hands
thanks to @aro-ace-thetic for betaing this for me!!
Hau swears to Solgaleo he had more shirts than this.
He's been staring at his wardrobe for the past ten minutes. He had a red shirt. He knows he had a red shirt. He just isn't sure where it could have gone.
...Come to think of it, he had an orange shirt, too. He only ever wore it as pyjamas, but he still had it. And now it's gone, somehow. Maybe one of his pokémon stole it. He wouldn't be surprised if Raichu had some. But then, why would a pokémon need clothes…?
He's debating letting out all his pokémon in order to interrogate them when his phone, lying on his bed, buzzes, and he speed-crawls over to it to grab it and sit against his bed on the floor. It's a message from the group chat with both his boyfriends in it - Ash and Gladion.
edge 5000: my hoodie has disappeared
So Hau isn't the only one with missing clothes today.
malasada boy: Half of my shirts are gone
edge 5000: really?
edge 5000: who is doing this
malasada boy: I have no clue
malasada boy: You okay without your hoodie?
edge 5000: yeah i have a spare but it's blue
edge 5000: not dark blue either. blue
malasada boy: How horrifying that must be for you
edge 5000: shut upp
edge 5000: it's thinner and not as warm :(
malasada boy: :(
Gladion doesn't reply, so Hau figures that must be conversation over and leaves his phone face down on his duvet, going to get his pokéballs from where they're attached to his belt, which is currently lying on a pillow. Decidueye is already out, of course, but he's grooming himself, and Hau knows from experience not to interrupt that. Just before he grabs the belt, though, his phone buzzes again, and he stops to check it.
sunshine god child: HI
sunshine god child: sry i was trainin
sunshine god child: what r we talkin abt
edge 5000: how our clothes are gone somehow
sunshine god child: oh
sunshine god child: haha…
malasada boy: How are you worse at lying over text than irl
malasada boy: I already know you had something to do with this
sunshine god child: IM TRYING
edge 5000: what did you do with our clothes, gremlin version of arceus
sunshine god child: SWEATS
sunshine god child: ur not allowed 2 get mad at me bc u love me
malasada boy: Perhaps
edge 5000: depending on what you did with my hoodie i am willing to make an exception
sunshine god child: LISTEN
sunshine god child: hoodie warm soft… criminal brain took over
edge 5000: you stole my prized hoodie because you liked it
sunshine god child: im literally wearin it rn
Hau immediately visualises Ash in Gladion's hoodie and nearly melts into a puddle on his bedroom floor. Judging by the way Gladion has stopped responding entirely, he's the same.
malasada boy: What about my shirts
sunshine god child: SO MAYBE IM WEARIN ONE OF UR SHIRTS AS WELL!! WHATS IT 2 U
Hau's brain almost entirely short circuits, but he still (somehow) manages to reply.
malasada boy: Ash, babe, light of my life, I love you, however,
malasada boy: DID YOU TAKE HALF OF MY SHIRTS
sunshine god child: PERHAPS
malasada boy: WHY
sunshine god child: IDK?? NEEDED SHIRTS
malasada boy: YOU HAVE SHIRTS??
sunshine god child: yea but these smell like u
sunshine god child: hello?
sunshine god child: r u guys good
sunshine god child: that rlly killed both of u huh
It did. Hau doesn't know how Gladion's doing (not much better than he is, judging by the fact he still isn't replying) but he's a blushing mess. Ash has to know what he's doing, right? No one can be that oblivious.
malasada boy: Out of complete curiosity
malasada boy: Which shirt are you wearing
sunshine god child: it sure is orange!
malasada boy: A sh that's one of my pyjama shirts
sunshine god child: i think i look good in it
malasada boy: Oh I'm sure you do
sunshine god child: KFJKDJDKSKKFJDK
edge 5000: i am going to need my hoodie back though
malasada boy: I did not miss the fact you didn't respond for ages there Glads
sunshine god child: arceus's chosen one diagnoses u with gay
edge 5000: that sounds like the title of a joke asmr video
sunshine god child: FKSJDKSHSKAJ
edge 5000: in other news give me back my hoodie,
sunshine god child: but i liiiikkkeeeee it
edge 5000: i am so glad i am not with you in person because i would give you that hoodie in a heartbeat
edge 5000: luckily this is text so Give Me Back My Hoodie
malasada boy: Also my shirts?
sunshine god child: no!!
malasada boy: ...You can keep one?
sunshine god child: im fine w that, actually
edge 5000: FINE since you're so cute
edge 5000: you can have my spare hoodie if you give me back my black one
sunshine god child: :)!!!
malasada boy: He didn't even have to do anything
edge 5000: okay mr "you can keep one"
malasada boy: You're right, we're both fools
sunshine god child: u love me
edge 5000: that's the problem
---
Ash tells both of his boyfriends he'll meet them at Hau's (or, Kahuna Hala's, technically) and races out the door with his backpack full of shirts and no pokémon with him other than Pikachu on his shoulder. Professor Kukui stops him on his way out the door and asks if he's wearing Gladion's hoodie, and also where did he get that shirt. He answers yes to the first question, and says the shirt is Hau's. Professor Kukui rolls his eyes and lets him go.
He's sad to see the clothes go, including the hoodie. Though he's had the hoodie for less than twenty four hours, and is honestly surprised Gladion didn't discover it missing sooner, he wasn't lying when he said it was warm and soft - with only a few on purpose tears in the fabric! The main reason, of course, is the smell. It's all black coffee and a kind of minty undertone, which is the smell Ash has begun to associate with Gladion since he met him.
Meanwhile, Hau's shirts are something he's been stealing for the past month. With help from Pikachu, of course. He's walked out the door of Kahuna Hala's house wearing one before, and Hau didn't notice. (Of course, this meant he left his own shirt with Hau, and because he isn't a criminal he returned it immediately. That made Ash feel slightly guilty. But he moved past it pretty quick.) Hau's shirts smell like gingerbread and grass cuttings, which is a weird combination, but it's distinctly Hau and Ash adores it.
He makes his way into Iki Town, and down the well-worn path that leads to the Kahuna's house. Hau and Gladion are sitting on the steps outside waiting for him, talking and laughing away. Ash smiles at the sight, and then Gladion looks up, directly at him, and seems to stop mid-sentence. Hau looks at him questioningly, before following his gaze, and his eyes widen.
Ash supposes if he saw either of them wearing his clothes he would have the same reaction, but nonetheless he grins as he watches both their faces get gradually more red as he skips down the path until he's right in front of them. "Hey!" he says brightly, Pikachu on his shoulder chirping along with his greeting.
To his credit, Hau manages to get out a broken "Hi," while Decidueye greets Pikachu. Gladion just stares. Ash notices he's wearing a blue hoodie that's a shade lighter than his usual colour range. His usual colour range being black and dark grey, of course.
Ash knows he's enjoying this far too much, but he swings his bag from his shoulder in a practiced dance with Pikachu and takes out a stack of shirts. "I believe these are yours?" he says in a teasing tone, holding the stack out to Hau. He takes it, and their hands brush together. With the stack of shirts on his lap, Hau rubs his hand as if it were burned.
Ash takes off Gladion's hoodie slightly reluctantly, and Pikachu jumps up onto his hat, not even wanting to bother with that dance (even though they perfected it in Unova). "And this seems to be yours," he says, in the same tone as the shirts, holding out the hoodie to Gladion. He takes it, his eyes not leaving Ash. On his head, Pikachu suppresses a snicker.
Hau and Gladion continue to stare, until Ash waves a hand in front of both their faces. "Anyone in there?" he asks, but he knows he's grinning too hard to act at all worried, as if he could act in the first place.
That seems to snap both of them back, and while Hau gets up to shove his returned shirts in a drawer somewhere, Gladion wordlessly changes hoodies, and gives the blue one to Ash. He takes it excitedly, and immediately puts it on. It doesn't smell as much as the black one does, but seeing as it's a spare, and it's also Gladion's and that makes the entire thing better by principle, Ash is content with what he got. Hau comes back out - he's changed shirts to one of the ones that was stolen, for some reason - and kisses Ash on the cheek. "I hate you," he says, but he's smiling softly and Ash smiles right back.
"Love you too!" He skips back to the path and spins around to face both of his boyfriends. "You guys wanna go get malasadas?"
Hau's answer is, of course, a resounding yes, while Gladion just smiles and lets himself be lead along. He keeps ducking his head down to bury his face in his hoodie. Later, when they're sitting down, Ash asks why.
"It smells like you now," Gladion replies almost shyly.
Ash chokes on his malasada, and Hau and Pikachu laugh at how red his face gets.
