Something has been bothering me A LOT this past week.
I like to consider myself a fair person, I believe it’s important to consider a situation from different point of views before judging, and I also think one should try to give the benefit of the doubt before jumping to conclusions.
Also, my absolutely favorite trope in literature is hero/villain romance, I like morally gray characters, I like how people at different ends of events and ideals can feel attraction and come together.
For all these reasons, I’ve been wondering why I am so attracted to Lance and, at the same time, I’m starting to really despise Nathaniel. I mean, I still want my Candy to bone romance him, but I, personally, hardly stand the guy at this point.
It seems counter-intuitive since Lance is a proper murderer, while Nath is a drug dealer that may, or may not, be having second thoughts. Surely the sins of the first highly outweigh the ones of the second. This has been bothering me a lot, why am I feeling like this? Why am I so harsh with Nath and so lenient towards Lance? Am I becoming a complete hypocrite?
I’m not hating on Nath because he sells drugs (which is pretty disgusting, but so is murder), what puts me off are his motivations and attitude.
Lance believes he is saving his people who are trapped in-between worlds and, at the same time, getting revenge. This is messed-up but I understand. I could even come to agree with him. He has an agenda, and is acting on the philosophy that the end justifies the means. There is still something deeply wrong in him, because of all the things he has done the one I actually can’t forgive is killing Ykhar’s companion, an act that had no purpose. He was only moved by his hatred towards Eldarya and I think these feelings that are partially his own have been exacerbated by some external factor that we will discover at some point (soon).
Nathaniel, instead, is well aware that what he does is wrong. He is not moving in a morally gray area that we may, or may not, agree with. He is either in a situation he doesn’t like and has no guts to get himself out of, or he is enjoying it for purely selfish reasons, and lying to Candy at the same time. (So his sin is either sloth or pride).
Lance has never lied to Guardienne, he’s probably the one character who has always told her the truth and shown his true colours. He knows who he is and owns it.
Nath, instead, finds thousands excuses and half-truths, treats Candy poorly and leaves her in a limbo. He was always the smart one, and now he’s anything but that.
You want to be bad Nath? Want to be a drug lord? Fair enough, own it and don’t pretend you’re a poor unfortunate boy who has no fault and just ended up with the wrong crowd. This is a Nath I could understand, not agree with, but would make for an interesting story and create a moral dilemma.
Instead you want to be a good person? Cool, do the right thing. No excuses. One’s past can be an extenuating circumstance but not an excuse.
I hope the next episode will fix things, I’m still going to hold my judgment on Nathaniel until we know more, maybe everything will come together nicely in the end.
tl;dr: Lance has an agenda and motivations you may not agree with, but he is who he is. Nath finds excuses and can’t decide what he wants, he’s basically a mess. The problem may simply be the writing(?)