the coffin of andy and leyley (tcoaal), ashley graves fictive. tw for incest ig??
i think ive grown too attached to the *idea* of sourcemates.
the idea of meeting andrew again and him being different than my andrew
the idea of falling in love with that new person and them loving me back. being given a second chance.
the idea of dating and explaining to everyone that "yes, we are sourced from that one incest game and yes we are indeed the protagonists, and yes we still sometimes id with source. but we arent dating because of our source. we dont see eachother as siblings at all"
the idea that i have someone to go back to. feel like home once again. without all the bad stuff.
the idea of having someone that *gets me*, understands what i went through, went through it aswell, and doesnt blame me for everything, and recognize my growth, and think "wow, ley, you really have changed, im proud of you, happy for you"
i dont know. maybe even if i had that i wouldnt be content.
uhm. andrew, yknow who you are, if you're reading this, cause ik you've seen my other confessions before. im so sorry.
im so so sorry. i latched onto you. i crushed on you, i still am. but its not genuine, i dont think it is. its not because you're andrew, but its because of everything i listed above. sorry you had to find out like this, if you even see this.
either way. im still longing for the day i meet an andrew just for me. i know i always said i longed for just a friend. but i guess there will always be some weird subtext to our relationship, huh? i hate that.
