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Jan 23, 2018

STACKERS // JAY PARA

Who: Jeff Sterling and Bay Motta @baymotta

What: Jeff and Bay cook and talk

When: January 23rd, middle of the afternoon

Where: The boy’s kitchens

Notes: Jeff tries to teach Bay how to cook an healthy alternative to his Taco Bell favourite, but they end up talking about feelings. Mentions of Vannah Rose, Carter Whitaker and Blaine Anderson

Jeff didn't know how he managed to get Bay into a kitchen, but he wasn't going to question it. Maybe it was the promise of tasty food and the fact it was going to be Jeff doing most of the work, but hey, he got him there, that was enough of a win for Jeff. He already had every ingredients out and all the supplies they needed to make those stackers Bay likes so much, only this was a much healthier version of those fast food ones he insists on getting all the time. Jeff sometimes wondered how he got the energy to work as much when he eats as bad as he does. "Bay Motta in a kitchen. Now that's a sight one doesn't see often... Or ever," Jeff chuckled as he saw him enter the boy's kitchen, getting his phone out and snappig a picture, a grin on his lips "Better record the moment or people think I'm lying," he joked.

Bay honestly didn't care where his food came from, as long as it was delicious and he could have a 'food-gasm' over it. That was all that mattered. He didn't really like cooking for himself, and it seemed like such a waste of time. There was a thousand other better things he could be doing like, playing Call of Duty or Destiny 2. Or hanging out with friends. Or having sex. He wasn't picky. There was just way better things to do than cook. But he knew Jeff pretty well. And he knew Jeff could cook. So the promise of free food had him in the kitchen for the first time since starting at Ashwood. "I mean, the kitchen is where the fridge is. Usually," he said, posing a little for the picture and noting that there was not a fridge in this kitchen. College was weird. "Hey, I'm where the food is and any given time, you know that."

Jeff shook his head fondly as Bay posed, taking the picture and getting his phone back in his pocket "I'm even surprised you know where the kitchen is. I've never seen you here, it's a fair concern," he shrugged lightly before motioning for him to step closer. They just had to cook, it was almost no work, and Jeff was sure if he made Bay sort everything out now, the other would not be very amused, so he had everything ready, hoping it was enough to make it appealing enough Bay would try to cook more often "I found a recipe online, got everything we need," he motioned to the table "And I'll bet it's going to be a thousand times better than whatever Taco Bell is calling mexican food."

Bay smirked. "I pass a sign every day that says ' kitchen' with a little arrow. I knew it was over here. Bummed there's no fridge to raid," he said, moving over to where Jeff was. He'd helped his mom a million times in the kitchen. Or at least enough to know that Jeff motioning him over was a hint that it was time to start. "I highly doubt it will be better than Taco Bell," he said, rolling his eyes a little. There was just something about fast food that made him weak in the knees. Fast food, pizza from Lombardi's, and Van. But he wasn't going to think about Van right now. He cleared his throat. "So, what do I have to do? You're gonna cook this for me, right?" he asked, nodding because if he had to cook it, it wasn't getting made.

Jeff chuckled "Glad I didn't have to give you directions to a place everyone has at least stepped foot on. And thankfully there's no fridges here. People already raid through everyone's shelves, can't imagine sharing a fridge with the entire floor," he made a face as he got the recipe in front of them. "I can promise it will be better, believe me," he said honestly, looking at Bay and sighing dramatically "I thought this could be a good learning experience for you. That means you have to do a little bit of work," he rested his hand on Bay's shoulder "You can start by turning on the stove and get a pan there."

Bay was absolutely not excited by the prospect of having to cook his own Taco Bell food. If he wanted to do that, he'd have gotten a job at Taco Bell. Ugh. But, he needed to get his mind off of Van and her boyfriend and how they were in love and stupid pink hearts and dumb baby cupid things and even more ugh. "Yeah, okay, I'll just believe you, even though you don't eat them," he joked. Or tried to joke. Bay was a mess and his usual suave self who knew exactly what to say was stuttering. And also not excited about using pans. With a roll of his eyes, he leaned over and got the pan and picked a burner to turn on. "Here's your pan, Chef," he tried to joke again, maybe doing a little better at it this time around, as he set the pan on the electric burner.

Jeff watched Bay as asked him to do get started, finding him much less argumentative and his comebacks weaker than usual. "I don't need to taste it to know it's shit. Just the smell is weird." Hanging out with Bay was always a fun time. They always had fun, joked around and flirted constantly, but he started to notice Bay hasn't been his usual self for a couple of days, and that bothered Jeff. He had the habit of taking care his friends, acting like a protective big brother to everyone who needed, and he had no problem of doing it to Bay, too. They've known each other since Jeff came to Ashwood, Jeff felt comfortable enough to talk about more serious stuff. "Chef Jeff, I like that," he smiled, getting the first few ingredients near the stove. "So, I saw your little argument with Van the other night.." he started, almost nonchalantly, hoping that not making a big deal out of it would make Bay not storm out.

Bay dropped his jaw a little and looked at Jeff like he was completely offended. And he was at least a little offended. He loved Taco Bell. "It does not smell bad, it smells delicious. It's the opposite of shit okay," he said, half-heartedly arguing back. He really did want to defend his choices but something made him not really care as much. He watched the other gather stuff next to the stove, already thinking that this was taking too long, and just as it seemed like the other was about to start cooking, he did. And he also brought up Van. "I didn't have an argument with her," he said, automatically refuting any blame- something he was really used to doing and playing off really well thanks to his job.

Jeff simply raised a brow at his weak defense of Taco Bell "Maybe not literal shit, I understand the fact of low income families resorting to fast food because it fills you up and it's cheaper, but it's not healthy Bay. All those abs are more difficult to maintain if you're only eating junk food," Jeff did the arguing for the both of them. Bay was smart, very smart, and he worked out, he just needed to put that mind into work and improve his diet. Jeff got the beef on the already heated pan, lowering the fire just a bit, before adding all the flavor. "It would be better to marinate it in the spices, but this works, too. Less prep time," he said as he got a wooden spoon and gave it to Bay to stir the meat around. It was a good way to distract him and get him to talk at the same time. Jeff leaned against the counter, crossing his arm and shrugging softly "That thing, then..." he rolled his eyes fondly "You like her, don't you?" Jeff knew they were going out, and for a while he felt guilty about sleeping with Bay while Van was going out with him, but then she started dating Carter and Jeff was a bit confused with what happened between them. If it was casual, Bay's reaction was so unlike him. When Jeff got a boyfriend, after a long while of fooling around with Bay, the other didn't seem that bothered, so the only thing that made sense, that could explain that interaction, was Bay liking Van.

Bay stared at the wooden spoon for a minute. He knew what Jeff wanted him to do and he was not fond of having to work for his food. But still, smashing meat around sounded like a good idea. Very stress relieving maybe. Or something. So he did it, all the while keeping his eyes on the pan and absolutely not anywhere near Jeff. Yes, he was hiding in plain sight. "It doesn't matter. She's in love with that stuffy prince guy. What the hell kind of prince leave his country for an education even..." he said, starting to complain about Carter. "What does she even see in him? He's probably boring. Probably plays like polo or something and drinks fancy liquor out of fancy glasses. And he's not even that good looking." Yes was the answer Jeff was looking for, and while Bay might not have given that answer, he certainly alluded to it.

Jeff stayed quiet and just listened to Bay, not helping but smiling a bit as he started to rant about Carter, giving Jeff the answer to the simple question he asked. "Calm down, or you'll mince the meat better than a mincer," he joked, resting his hand on Bay's forearm and getting him to stop stiring the meat so aggressively. "He does look like a polo player," he agreed with a chuckle "And that sounds exactly like someone who's jealous," he raised a brow playfully at Bay "It's okay, you can admit it, I won't give you crap about it or joke about the fact you caught feelings... I know how much it sucks to like someone that already had someone..." he closed his mouth and looked away for a second, running his fingers through his hair "Let the meat cook for a second," he added, so the pause didn't seem weirder than it already was. Jeff really didn't want to talk about himself, but he understood Bay. While not outright complaining about Kane, he too was jealous of him.

Bay was glad that Jeff agreed with him about Carter looking like he would play polo, even if he could tell he was joking around. But something about the way the other understood him, how he felt and what he said, it was comforting. He wasn't ready to say it yet though. If he said it, it would make it ten times a real. And he could only handle so much realness right now. Van giving him the shirt back earlier had been too real too. He glanced up as Jeff told him that he knew how it felt. "Wait, you do?" he questioned, letting the other take the wooden spoon and stir the meat around aggressively.

Jeff always found other people's problems easier to deal with. Not easy, Rachel's drug problem, his brother's surgery, Savannah's eating disorder, it's not easy to deal with, but it's so much easier than his own problems. Jeff would rather focus on someone else than himself. If he did that, if he thought too much or too little, he always managed to mess something up, so he'd rather give his attention to his friends. Besides, in a weird way this was him thinking about things, just like Mason said. He and Bay weren't together or anything, but this Van thing could somehow end up on him and this was him trying to fix things before they got that bad. As Bay gave him the spoon, Jeff sighed and took over the stove, slowly adding things to the meat, just like the recipe told him to "Pathetic, uhm? I get dumped and fall for a guy that I have no chance with..." he said with a sad laugh and a slight shrug of his shoulders.

Bay folded his arms and leaned against the counter facing Jeff. The blond was adding stuff to the pan- Bay had no idea what those things were- and soon the room started to smell more like Taco Bell. Normally his stomach would growl, but he wasn't really in the mood for turning animal over the scent of food at the moment. From what the other was saying, it really sounded like he understood. Like he was almost right in the exact same position as Bay was. He turned to lean with his back against the counter now. "It really sucks. To know how you feel about them and that they're with someone else," he said, frowning down at his folded arms.

Jeff should at least be saying what he was doing out loud, but he normally cooked in silence, and taking about seasoning while they were having a serious conversation felt wrong. So he kept stirring as they talked, looking at Bay every now and then. It was so unlike Bay to be acting like this, so Jeff hoped that if he couldn't help, if he couldn't give the right advice - that would mean he should be following it too, and he wasn't ready for that- that at least talking would make Bay feel better and not alone in this. Because Jeff knew exactly what he felt like. "And the fact that you know you can make them as happy the other person does but you don't get the chance.." Jeff agreed, nodding softly "It does suck, but I'd rather have them in my life than push them away... You shouldn't push Van away if you really like her. As much as you think it will hurt less." Jeff couldn't imagine ever not being around Blaine, even knowing he would never get a chance with him. He was his friend first of all, and that would never change. As much as it hurts standing there and seeing him with someone else, it would hurt a lot more not having him at all.

Bay pressed his lips together and thought about what Jeff was saying. How would he able to look at Van and know that she was happy with someone else? How could he look at his social media accounts and, in good conscience, like those pictures? how could he just... be her friend without wanting to kiss her and buy her things and tell her his secrets? She'd given him his shirt back. Maybe it was a sign that she didn't feel the way he did. That there wasn't anything there. She did say that she wanted her friend back. So maybe that was it. They just had to be friends. Except, no Bay didn't want that. Maybe Jeff was stronger for watching the one he was in love with loving someone else, but Bay wasn't. "No, it's better if I just don't see her anymore. And if she doesn't see me. Let her live her life and be happy. I don't deserve her anyway. She's way too good for me," he said, shaking his head and picking up a spice jar and pretending to read it.

Jeff tasted a bit of the meat the were cooking, just to see if the flavour was right, but he was still listening to Bay. He placed the spoon down and added just a little bit of salt, before looking a Bay "That's a great plan if you met her once and the feeling goes away in like, two days," he really wanted to roll his eyes, because that sounded like such a dramatic movie move, but people deal with things differently, and maybe this was the way Bay could handle it "You like her, right? That means you like her as a person. I'm not saying you should be best friends and you hang out all the time, and you're her best man, but is it worth it to lose a friend?" he asked honestly "Because that feeling will go away. You'll fall in love with someone else, or you'll just stop loving her, and then you'll feel stupid for losing someone special to you because you let your feelings get in the way." Jeff took the spice jar from Bay's hands so he'd look at him "We're cooking over here," he said, but he just wanted him to look at him so he could listen "That's bullshit. You can be good enough if you make people happy. As much as you think people don't deserve you. If you just stop talking to her, you'll just be proving that point right, when it's not true."

Bay shook his head. "Yeah, see that's the thing. We didn't start out as friends for me. Maybe for her, but not for me. I just wanted to hit it and quit it. But she wasn't down for that. She made me take her on dates and I went to her ballet things and it was all just to tap that. Except then it wasn't. Maybe it felt like friends for her, but it was completely different for me. I went from not knowing her at all to... just suddenly... she was everywhere and everything and it freaked me out. Her getting with stupid polo guy is why I went to Miami. I just wanted to get away from it. To see her just totally move on like that. it really sucked." His voice cracked and he stopped talking. Putting the space jar down, he paced over to the other side of the room, not wanting Jeff to see that he was losing his cool.

Jeff sighed softly "Okay, then it's different, but how will stepping away help any of you? She clearly cares for you or she wouldn't be upset online like she was, and maybe if you stay, you'll become friends. Who knows, they might break up in a week and you get another chance. If you just stop talking to her because you didn't get want you wanted, that will end any chance of you two ever being together. She'll be upset, you'll be like... this," he pointed at him "Sad and obviously hurt, for God knows how long." Jeff took the pan out of the stove and walked to Bay, resting his hands on his shoulder. He never expected to have this conversation with Bay, and now he wasn't leaving until the other made a joke and actually laughed with meaning "I can't say do this or do that. Because then I'd have to follow my own advice and I'm not sure I want to, but believe me, it will hurt more to step away," he said honestly, squeezing Bay's shoulder "Just.. don't cut all ties. Don't be her best friend, but talk to her. Because you'll look back in a few months and wonder why you were so radical in your decisions."

Bay really hated that he was letting this get the better of him. He was supposed to be this big tough guy. He worked out. Got all the hotties. For god's sake, he was in the mafia. But Jeff was probably right. Bay was great with math, but not so much words, and he made that clear almost every time he opened his mouth. "I know. I know. But it hurts now," he said, giving Jeff a broken look before moving away from him again. He'd never dated anyone really. Certainly never had feelings for anyone before. "I guess I just... have to talk to her then." He sounded defeated, though as if on cue, his stomach growled. He sighed. "You know, if I'd gone to Taco Bell, I could have eaten one of these like twelve times by now."

Jeff gave Bay a little nod, totally getting it. Of course it hurt. It hurts Jeff every day when he remembers that no, as much as he talks to Blaine, compliments, flirts with him, he'll never be able to get him. Every time he remembers Kane, when Blaine reminds Jeff he exists, that they spent New Years together, that they have met each other's parents, it hurts. It really does, and maybe it wouldn't as much if Jeff hadn't just been broken up with, but he can't control that. So he makes the best out of it, and he really hopes Bay does too. Because moping around and cutting ties will only make him feel worse and he doesn't want his friend to feel like that. As Bay moves away, Jeff does too, going back to the counter, just as the other starts complaining about food again "You couldn't have this conversation with the til guy, so shut up," he poked his tongue out at him before getting everything. The organic cheese, the whole wheat tortilla, stuffing it with the meat and getting it on a plate for them to share "I'm even making it all for you, don't complain."

Bay figured that Jeff was right. After all, if he was in love with someone who was taken, and admitting to it, it must have been for a bit. He must have thought about never talking to the guy again. He must have thought about doing what he could to not feel terrible. And this must have been the best option- staying friends. He swallowed, and paid attention to his stomach instead of his heart. He pressed his lips together and wrinkled his nose at everything reading organic. "At Taco Bell, I wouldn't have to share it with you. I would get my own," he commented, putting the Van conversation behind them. "This better be good."

Jeff thinks the idea is tempting. Hiding away his feelings, not having to be faced with the fact that he'll never be able to be with Blaine, but he knows better now. Keeping things in only make things worst, and while he wasn't being honest with Blaine, he wasn't keeping his feelings for himself. He talked to people, he listened to their opinions about what to do. He wasn't storing feelings that might explode some day. Besides, he'd never be able to turn his back on Blaine. He was important to Jeff, whether is feelings were platonic or not. Jeff rolled his eyes and pushed the plate in Bay's direction, still sitting down in front of him "Maybe you'll like them enough you'll be begging for me to give you the recipe to make them."

Bay looked at the plate in front of him, hesitating. He knew it was probably good, but this was definitely not a Taco Bell stacker. It was more like a homemade quesadilla, which wasn't terrible, but it wasn't a stacker. Picking up the tortilla, he took a bite, and chewed on it slowly, analyzing. He squinted. "This... is a really good... something. It's not a stacker though. It tastes like... whole wheat. And the cheese is bland. Overall I think I'll give it a six out of ten," he said taking another bite and wishing that cheese was oozing out of it instead of staying right where it was inside. "I mean it's good. But it's not Taco Bell good. I'm still gonna eat it though."

Jeff waited for Bay to take it's first bite, grinning widely as he started, but then quickly frowning "C'mon, it's good, admit it," he tried. He thought he had this in the bag, that Bay would love the home made version and he had accomplished something, but guess he was wrong. Jeff did try though "I blame it on the conversation. Just stole the fun out of making food," he shrugged playfully, not completely admitting defeat "I guess if you like it enough to finish it, that's a win."

Bay smirked a little. "Just because I'm not a health nut doesn't mean I'm gonna die. You can't shove your whole wheat down everyone's throat and expect them to like it," he said. Really, it wasn't bad. He would eat it again probably, if he didn't have to make it- though pulverizing the meat was pretty therapeutic. "Hey, don't... like tell anyone. You know, about what I said about Van. Like about... how I felt. I don't want that to get around. And I don't want her to accidentally hear it. And yeah, I'll probably still talk to her, just. Don't say anything to anyone."

Jeff laughed "I know, but I can try. If one person out of a thousand ends up liking it, it's a life I helped improve, even if just a little," he shrugged softly. He really just wanted to help people out, get them to their best self. If you eat right, you feel better, and that's all Jeff was trying to pass on. Besides, cooking is always a fun thing to do. Makes the whole thing easier for people who aren't that excited to eat healthy. As Bay asked him to not say anything about they just talked, Jeff nodded "You don't have to worry about that. I have no reason to do that, and it just sounds like bad karma. The information that Bay Motta has romantic feelings stays with me," he promised.

#ashubay #bay #paras #paras:bay #because beff sounds too much like bleff

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