#asiangirlprobs

[nvnelvves]

Hello friends, 

It has been 4 weeks and I have another update! I guess this is good news. I went up to UMass 2 days ago and spoke to some mutual friends. A couple of our mutual friends knew how I felt but didn’t know how he felt because he’s very ‘reserved’ and doesn’t talk about these things to them. But I ended up talking to a friend that’s close to him and found out that there has been miscommunication. It’s funny because he thought I was losing interest but I thought he was LMAO. But after I found all of this out I lowkey had a mental break down and was falling/tumbling everywhere omg. Everyone was trying to get us together but ya girl couldn’t do it sos. HOWEVER, when my balls dropped it was too late sos. Good news is, I ended up shooting my shot and made it. Bad news is idk when I’ll see him again, I regret not talking to him sooner, and I have a bruise on my knee. 

[nvnelvves]

Update: it has been a month since the last time I blogged about my life regarding boys. The one I wrote a post about last month went down the toilet, but that’s okay because I got a free gym session and burrito bowl LMAO. All imma say is my compatibility with cancers are TRASH. 

The bright side is, I’ve been seeing someone who goes to another school more often. I think I’ve seen them every week of October! But on Halloween when I saw them... Yep. 😉 I’ve known him for almost a year now and it was interesting to know that he was interested in me because every time I saw him we barely talk LOL. I think it’s just his personality, it’s okay because he’s cute (and Korean, which is a bonus). But yeah... it’s been a week and a few days since Halloween and we’ve been snapping more often and we are mutual #1 best friends on snap :’) Not sure where this will go, although I don’t think this will be something long term, I am excited to see where this goes. ALSO HE IS A GEMINI, OUR COMPATIBILITY IS REALLY HIGH ON A LOT OF FACTORS!!! 

[nvnelvves]

happiness

hello :^)

it has been quite a while since I’ve ‘complained’ about something positive. It’s sad reading my past posts about all the negatives that were in my past so here is a happy post to look back on!!

it’s been so long since i’ve felt this happy; feeling butterflies in my tummy, smiling stupidly looking at my phone, waking up and going to bed with a smile on my face. Life is good.. it’s great. I started talking to a boy that I’ve always found cute.. maybe not always because when I met him like 8 years ago I wasn’t like “OOOOOH CUTE BOY” but now I’m like “Why hello slide thru these dms plz”. And thanks to my wingman he slid through and we’ve been talking for a few days consecutively. There’s always something to talk about from the moment I wake up until I snooze of at night. I don’t wan’t to get my hopes up but I can already imagining stealing his hoodies, cuddling, and going dates on him rip. HE’S JUST SOOOO CUTE OMG. I love how he makes me laugh, it’s lowkey weird how he texts... well he’s lowkey weird in general (but in a cute way) but I’m pretty weird to soo its okay... I can go on and on but I’ll wait to see if anything happens to update. 

Until Then! 

[nvnelvves]

12am thoughts

Honest to god I’m so complicated and I wish I could make up my mind. I made a post a few weeks ago about how I thought I liked this guy. A lot has happened since then, but I decided that I don’t like him, and that I just want to be friends with him. He figured out how he felt about me a few days ago and told me... but I thought I was really set on being friends and nothing else... HOWEVER, I’m really fucking confused because I’ve been thinking about him all day and wondering what he’s doing. It’s weird that I miss him and I wish I was spending time with him... like wtf is going on with me?? I want to talk to him about it, but at the same time I feel like there’s no point... idk what to do. :( 

[nvnelvves]

You have been running through my mind all day... Haven’t you thought about me at all today? Why haven’t you texted me? I can’t stop thinking about you and what happened last night... I also kinda miss you... Omg this is weird. Who am I??

[nvnelvves]

It’s been years since I’ve felt nervous and got butterflies from a guy... This was honestly so unexpected. Feels like one of those cliche stories you hear about “not knowing who was there all along, but they were right in front of you”. Long story short I’m catching feelings for someone I’ve been friends with for a while and it’s kinda weird because... feelings lmao. Not sure what to say.. all I know is that I’m going to probably confront him tomorrow and see what happens... But it’s just nice to flirt and coincidentally meet each other. I usually only see him like once a week or once every other week but this week we’re going to see each other for like 4 days. Woah. I’m kinda mind blown and not sure how to feel or think, but just kind of discreetly going with the flow. RIP if anyone I know is reading this post b/c apparently it’s been ‘obvious’ but I’m trying to keep how I’ve been feeling a secret because my relationship with this guy is complicated... Ahhh. 

[nvnelvves]

ok

Honestly I'm just tired of the constant lying. Like why the fuck you always gotta lie for? You think it'd be use to it by now since it's been over a year but nope, still pisses me off every single time. Like if you wanna play games, we can play. Don't be fucking mad when you lose. I'm playing by my rules. It's just annoying, like you'll never know how I feel because I never do this shit to you. But you always do this shit to me. Always. I know it's a lot of little stuff but that shit adds up. Not even that, but I still feel like I don't know anything about you. Which is crazy. Like you never talk about your past, or anybody or anything. Like oh how long did you know ___ and how did you guys meet? Like tell me stories, your experiences. The people in your life that I don't know much of and what they mean to you. Everything just bothers me when I'm like this (salty/petty/mad). Sometimes I really don't know why I do this to myself. Like why do I always put up with this? Ugh I feel like I need somebody. Someone cool, understanding, honest. Just to complain to about this shit and to just listen to me and make me laugh. I want to forget about this. I hate feeling like this. And you know what? They don't even do anything about it. They just let me go to sleep mad. I hate it.

[nvnelvves]

1 am thoughts

I’m thinking about you, actually I always think about you. Ever since you texted me goodbye, it was a bittersweet feeling. It’s only been 48 hours without you and I miss you like crazy. It’s not like we broke up, or ended things on bad terms, in fact we never got back together so we’re single (it’s complicated). It feels like we’re together though, but we’re not. Anyways, I just wonder what you’re doing and how you’re doing. Did you meet any new people? Do you have any new friends? How’s the food? Is your sleeping schedule starting to regulate? Did you learn anything new? Do you think/miss me? Is it often? I’m just wondering. I was thinking about seeing you at the end of June, mainly a surprise, but I can’t anymore since I won’t have a place to stay and stuff. I’m not sure where I’m going with this post either, just some stuff on my mind. I just think, if you’re only gone like this for about 8 weeks… how will I be when you’re gone for 4 years? ‘I miss my stinky’ is all I whine about to myself the past 48 hours as I squeeze Xan. I’m so happy for you but this sucks for me.