#ask arfs!

[canisbeasts-ooc]

https://youtu.be/7arjH-sGWFM

Cali was watching this horrified knowing damn well Calbhach would do this, has done this, and will do this again. You were so right in saying he would be Nile.

The amount of things he has done since being here (both inner and outer world I suppose) occasionally frightens me. Granted, it’s very cool, but I don’t know if he should legally be allowed to build or make some of the things he does (joking of course.)

[canisbeasts-ooc]

Caleb Bach PLEASE

Hehehe, I love the way this is worded

There’s of course, his long standing fear of being seen as weak, as vulnerable. But that’s pretty obvious and clear cut, in all honesty. He has never wanted to give Calfuray even more chance to get the upper hand, he has never wanted someone to feel as if they could overpower him cause, at least when it comes to physical strength, many others probably could. He hates it so much because, in part, it’s true. He is well aware of how he is weak in many forms to those around him at any given moment. He know he would not be the one to survive to adulthood, he knows he’s far weaker than any of the Alternian trolls, even many of the Beforan ones too, in all honesty, the only true thing he almost always has above others is his mind, his intelligence.

Which, goes into another thing: I don’t know if it’s 100% a..fear? But it’s certainly a sore spot. Perhaps one of the sorest spots possible for him.

Calbhach does not want to be seen as incompetent, as incapable, as whole and fully inept. He holds his intellect as a weapon with a vice grip. He feels it’s one of the only things he can use to protect himself but. In actuality? If one takes a clear look at his life it has done nothing but fail him time and time again. And deep down he knows it as well. He worked his life honing his senses, taking in whatever information it could, and in the end it didn’t help him. Endless experiments, countless hours, and more effort than what is reasonable, he worked to find a way to stay alive, to live, to find a way out other than the impossible chance he would predominate. He failed to find a single way out. The game is what saved him, what saved all of them, not his doing. He killed Calfuray but he failed to truly subdue her like he planned, she still got the upper hand with godtiering. He died alone. His thoughts on his sister ended up being false, and even then, even if they weren’t, his plans went awry. Nearly everything he has tried has failed, and it doesn’t get any easier navigating the intricacies of godhood, of culture with another species, of living and regretting, of slowly trying to earn forgiveness, that of which he doesn’t feel like he deserves for a long time.

Calbhach, although a lord of light, although a powerful and relentless driving force, fails time and time again, and he’s incredibly afraid of realizing that for himself, even more so for others to see it as well, I think. He’s so scared of people thinking these things cause, when it really comes down to it, they’re true in some form. Every interaction truly becomes a game to him, one with many repercussions and little benefit in the end. He may eventually get better with it, but, I feel even after Continua is established, it may take an incredible amount of time for it to truly ebb away.

[canisbeasts-ooc]

psst psst psst do you want to play the fear game with me do you want to do lykoii...

I would love to play! fear games :D.!

Um, disclaimer that this is probably not very..coherent. It’s a lil late and I’m gonna probably ramble (and come up with stuff on the fly, like usual)

It’s. Probably pretty standard and obvious for clurch members (and ex clurch members) but I feel Lykoii, once the game is over- hell, maybe some before that, he’s really scared of being seen as unfaithful. From practical beginning of what he could remember, he’d been with the clurch, following to its doctrines, reaping the blood of its teachings. And given it was such a…messy break from it. He lost his community, his sense of self, his lusus, and so much more in one terrible breath? It’s. A lot on him, frankly. It’d be a lot on anyone, but to someone already so…hard to put into words but gestures vaguely at the already trying so hard to appease his lusus, conform to the clurch to the best of his ability, and the total absence of…really any good support systems. It’s not great. And he feels horribly guilty for it all.

For so long it was all that he’d known, he was supposed to be faithful, he was supposed to be good. And he has his thin rug with the idea of if he does everything right he’ll be fine ripped from under him.

And it kinda..keeps going? He can’t stay loyal or attached to anything for too long while on the run. Anyone or anything he gets a hold of, he can’t stay with for long. He can’t put them in danger, he can’t put himself in danger. Which makes his friendship with Styrss so, unique, for lack of a better term, for both of them. Someone who has refused his anxieties and worries, who kinda spits in the face of the dangers he feels and accepts her fate. Someone who, at this point, has the freedom to do so much, nothing holding her, and yet, stays as she is, kinda letting the world run by her. And given she’s such a pivotal connection to him, both before and after the game, he is really worried about showing that he’s faithful to her, that he cares, that he’s not going to abandon her, even if they don’t see eachother for wipes at a time

This transfers to Calixtus in many ways too I think. He’s honestly just as clingy as they are. He wants to show that he’s there, that he loves them with his whole heart and he’s not going anywhere, that despite everything that’s happened, that Calixtus is always going to have someone committed to them, that will choose them. I think, with all the complexities of renouncing his faith and then. Being in a relationship with a relationship with the species of God is. Kind of messy in his brain, at least for a lil bit.

Also. I can’t talk about Lykoii without talking about Sphinx too- having gone through so much of the same pressures, going from hating to understanding to caring more than he would have ever dared while on Alternia, it’s a lot! The space siblings are complicated to say the least but, they check in on each other a lot I think. They may not expressly talk a lot sometimes but, I feel that perhaps they send little things to one another, or would fix part of the other’s spatial domain if they see something’s up, the works of small actions showing immense care

Ummm.! TLDR: I got kinda rambly and lost topic but- Lykoii is very afraid of being seen as unfaithful and uncommitted, both in his mind and others. He’s probably the type to send a checking in messages to all of his friends at least once a week or somethinf, please respond, he is a kinda pathetic catfish who can use space to teleport to a doorstep if needed

[canisbeasts-ooc]

CSARS. YOUR CHOICE

. scars i meam

Tumblr did not let me see this ask for like- a week so- here we go :] (warning for well- I suppose mention of physical trauma and abuse)

I’ve already talked about some scars and physical features of a lotta critters [here]

But to add on:

Andras has some rough slurryspay scars. They were gotten under the care of its previous culler before Calrie, and they’re quite prominent on its smaller form, especially given how emaciated it was before it got into better care. Andras also has some scarring along the edges of its fins due to fin rot, also due to previous unfit culling conditions.

Both Calrie and Crypto have the troll equivalent of appendix removal scars. Calrie’s is in a bit rougher shape than Crypto’s and occasionally causes her discomfort. Calrie’s came from precaution and Crypto got his after early signs of appendicitis.

The Battered has plenty of the scars to be expected from her time on the intergalactic fleets. Although not used for helming, she’s got plenty to show all of the mechanics she’s had to work on. There’s a lot of small scrapes and cuts that have scarred over time. Later on she will lose her right arm from part of a hull’s collapse.

The Starlead has a myriad of scars from their time as a ship captain, and subsequent stranding on their first starship. Some of the most notable they have are many small pinprick needle scars from using helming nutrient ports once the ship’s supply stores began to run low. They end up with a large scar across the right side of their face, marring their eyesight and cutting across their ear fin.

Before The Carillon had assistance from The Nnanntis, she would be a lot more careless in her feedings, resulting in a very few small and mostly faded scars along her arms, most resulting from scratches from ‘prey’ with more fight to them. She was a lot more reckless in her own care before her current quads. She also has a few bite scars, for. various reasons. :P

The Botanist has his neck scar of course, both in life and death, but he also has a few other scars from The Carillon, be it small nicks on his arms, or faint bite marks on his shoulders or neck

[canisbeasts-ooc]

you have a beautiful mind.

thank u thank u, its um. brain :]

[canisbeasts-ooc]

The gas... its in ur bones... theres a gas leak in your bones... instead of bone marrow, there is carbon monoxide...

Cartilage boneoxide, oh nooooo

No bonessssss

* I expertly fall (due to my no bones) into a heap (boneless) reminiscent of a perfectly folded fluffy blanket (not reminiscent of any being with bones), the crowd applauses (has bones, can clap), at the me (bonless) *

[canisbeasts-ooc]

the chreubs!

Some of these probably would not have been marked if 1 or 2 of the other thirds weren’t also being bingoed

[canisbeasts-ooc]

calbhatchhhhhh for either bingo