Um, Barton/Coulson? (What's that called, I'm sorry)
Phlinty goodness, coming up!
Who is a master of the Puppy-Dog-Eyes look? Obs, Clint! Coulson doesn’t do puppy dog eyes, but they are Clint’s stock in trade.
Who is the big spoon/little spoon? Phil is the big spoon, even though he’s technically a titch shorter than Clint. And Clint loves every single moment that he can possibly grab of being wrapped up in Phil’s arms, so he pushes the issue if he has to…
Does the bigger one carry the smaller one in their arms? Well, again, there’s not much difference in size between the two of them (if you’re looking strictly at height). Clint obviously has a bit more muscle mass on Phil, but let’s be real, Phil relies on not looking like he could carry anyone, whereas Clint can’t hide the fact that he could bench press most people! That being said, Phil sometimes picks Clint up, bridal style, and carries him into their apartment (just before deadpanning about how he hopes SHIELD’s cameras haven’t caught them. Clint always chuckles, and points out that both of them know where the blind spots are, and tries to convince Phil to commit publicly indecent acts)
Who wakes up early to make breakfast in bed? Normally, it’s Phil. He’s a machine for the daily routine, which tends towards the alarm going off at 0′darkthirty… However, given enough rest, and the right motivation, Clint can whip up a mean plate of pancakes, or wicked French toast (one time, even, wafflebacon! Phil has a soft spot for wafflebacon…)
Who checks on the baby in the middle of the night? What baby?!? Did we have to secure a minor on this op?!? OMG, why won’t this thing stop crying? Or eating?? Or messing it’s diaper?!?
Did they cry at their own wedding? Clint did. He’s a total softy at heart. Nat, who stood as his “best man (person/friend)” gave him an arm shot when she realized that he was about to lose it, and that let him rein everything back in to the point where he didn’t give Tony a lifetime’s worth of blackmail material…
Who would cuddle the other for no reason? Usually, Clint is the one who is less concerned about other SHIELD personnel finding out, but once he realizes that he almost lost Clint on that last mission!, Coulson stops worrying about what other agents might say, and openly does a physical once-over/make sure there’s no blood loss/ends in a hug (loosely disguised as more physical check-up). Everyone knows what’s going on. Hill and Sitwell both think it’s adorable.
Who sings a lullaby to help the baby sleep? Again, what is this baby?!? Where did it come from?!? Anyways, if one of these two were going to sing to a baby, it would be Clint. Phil is tone deaf. And Clint used to help keep the younger kids calmed down in the foster homes he was in, plus he just enjoys singing. It wasn’t a big leap for him to sing for the little kids…
Who makes who sleep on the couch after an argument? OMG, these two!!! Neither one of the stubborn bastards makes the other sleep on the couch! They both insist that nothing is wrong, and that they will be fine sharing the bed, like always. But they both spend too much time laying flat on their backs, pretending nothing’s wrong, and attempting to read the other person’s mind, so that they can figure out if they are in the wrong, or ready for a good gloat session. (Of course, Phil is much more subtle than Clint. Who’s subtlety is more along the lines of “Hey, I have a fish! I will now fish slap you upside the head!”
Let that roll around in your brainmeats for a tick…