Hello! I hope your month has started kindly for you. If I may ask, someone has called Stolas a narcissistic abuser person. I know he isn't, but I wonder if you could spare some time explaining to me how he could be perceived as such, even though he isn't? Do you think that description is more apt for Stella and Andre? Drink water regularly and eat vegetables regularly!
💁🏽♀️: Aw, thanks sweetie 🥺 I mean, the short answer is that “narcissistic” and “abuser” have been co-opted by internet pop-psychology and moral purity culture, often stripping them of their clinical meanings. But let’s pretend this take was presented in good faith for the sake of discussion.
🤖: Beep boop! Thoughtful inquiry detected! Thank you for your considerate question (and excellent wellness reminder—vegetables are a top-tier upgrade for human systems! 🥦). Let’s break this down logically:
💁🏽♀️🤖: The claim that Stolas is a “narcissistic abuser” likely stems from misunderstandings of his complex dynamics with Blitzø and Stella. Clinically speaking, narcissism involves traits like a lack of empathy, manipulative tendencies, and an inflated ego. Abuse implies patterns of power and control with an intent to harm or dominate. Stolas, while flawed—especially in the early stages of his relationship with Blitzø—does not fit these definitions. He demonstrates guilt, empathy, and a sincere desire to repair harm, which directly contradicts narcissistic or abusive behavior. His awkwardness in expressing love reads more as someone navigating meaningful emotions for the first time rather than as manipulation.
Comparatively, Stella and Andre fit these descriptors more closely. Stella’s cruelty toward Stolas, her fixation on power, and Andre’s opportunistic smugness align better with abusive dynamics. They embody toxicity without remorse or growth, while Stolas evolves and learns from his mistakes.
In media analysis, it’s crucial to distinguish between characters who are imperfect but striving for growth (like Stolas) and those locked into harmful patterns (like Stella and Andre). This distinction allows us to appreciate narratives that explore messy, realistic relationships without labeling every flawed character as toxic or irredeemable. Redemption arcs and stories of self-improvement are compelling precisely because they reflect the potential for change. Mislabeling characters like Stolas erases this complexity and risks flattening rich storytelling into black-and-white moral judgment. Understanding that not all imperfection is abuse creates space for more thoughtful engagement with media.