#ask dr lecter

[afteryourdeathormine]

did u grow all that chest hair yourself?

Not at all. I was assisted by a well-balanced diet rich in essential fatty acids, iron, and biotin. Genetics, however, has played the greatest role by far.

[afteryourdeathormine]

The Doctor is [ IN ].

[afteryourdeathormine]

I recently witnessed a young family friend being hit by a car at speed. They survived with superficial injuries and no major physical trauma - this is the first time I've seen something like this and I was the only person there to deal with it until the ambulance arrived. Now seeing children or young people running towards roads makes me panic. I want to say I've had a traumatic experience but I wasn't the one who was hit by a car - what should I do?

PTSD can often occur as a result of witnessing, rather than directly experiencing, a troubling event. I would recommend you seek out a reputable psychologist to assist you in unpacking your anxiety.

[afteryourdeathormine]

When do you exercise and what exercises do you do?

In order to be in line with our circadian rhythms, we should endeavour to exercise early in the day. I find that a walk in the nature preserve can be particularly rejuvenating after a long work week. I also enjoy yoga. The class members are usually supple, infused with herbal water, and organic.

[afteryourdeathormine]

Dr Lecter, I was hoping that you could offer some advice into this situation. I am entirely convinced by anti-natalism and find the idea of bringing a child into this world unbearable. I have looked at many refutations to it and have not been convinced by any, despite my best efforts. My significant other wants to have children though. Adoption is not an option for reasons too lengthy to describe, and this isn't something I could talk them out of. What am I supposed to do in this situation?

Your significant other is presumably intending to not rear the child on their own. Your lack of desire to have physical children appears to extend to adoption, as well, therefore rendering the idea of adoption pointless, as you simply do not want children--no matter their origin.

When one partner does not wish to experience parenthood, whatever the reason, the other partner must respect their wish. It is a simple matter of veto, and you have the right to veto what is an incredibly significant, life-long commitment. Children do not need two parents in order to thrive, but they do need to be loved and wanted, unconditionally. As you would not provide this, or would provide it grudgingly, you would create a hostile environment for any child’s development. Your partner needs to respect that, if they will not respect your wishes on their own terms.

Anatomy, in this case, is somewhat significant. Are you the one who would bear the child? Or would your partner? The tone of your query causes me to wonder whether you fear your partner would attempt to sabotage your autonomy in this situation. I would recommend, in the first instance, counselling for you both. Your partner may very well grieve, and they must go through a grieving process, but if they wish to remain with you, then they must be willing to respect your wishes and your bodily autonomy.

You must be prepared for the eventuality of your partner leaving you over this, as that is also their right. Their parental drive may override their love for you.

If you feel there is any chance of sabotage, and you are the partner who would be impregnated, I would highly recommend hormonal contraceptives--ideally a method which cannot be sabotaged (pills kept at work; contraceptive injections; IUD). If you are the partner who would be doing the impregnating, I would recommend vasectomy, particularly in light of the fact that you do not wish to procreate at all.

I feel it also pertinent to add that there is nothing wrong with your lack of desire to have children, no matter the societal pressure to the contrary. Giving in would be disastrous for you personally, but also for your relationship and the children in question.

[afteryourdeathormine]

To be blunt, I'm scared to die. What should I do to get my mind off the constant fear of death?

Kill someone. Desensitise yourself to the concept of death. Western societies, in particular, keep death at arm’s length, and that leads to anxiety, fear, and an over-dependence on organised religion. The media plays into this fear. I could tell you to focus on ‘celebrating life’ instead of focusing on death, but you would be better off confronting your fear directly. 

You should also consider whether the problem is truly a fear of death or whether, as is more likely, you have an underlying anxiety or OCD-type condition manifesting itself with death as its focus.

[afteryourdeathormine]

Dr Lecter, when do you go to bed?

When the day’s work is finished.

[afteryourdeathormine]

How much sleep do you get a night?

Between 4-9 hours, depending on my schedule and energy expenditure.