#ask dunkleosteus

[dunkleosteus-official]

I have to be the most fuckable and esoteric dunk on the Ural ocean.

Too late, i already am. All the other dunks wanna be me. (/lh)

[dunkleosteus-official]

I have been up there on the surface. I can confirm: it's dry. Cannot recommend.

oh ew 0/10 not the vibe. dry air on my plates is not the way to go. thank you for warning me!!!

[dunkleosteus-official]

I’m gonna go get a squid or perhaps a tasty fish for a snack, anyone want anything?

[dunkleosteus-official]

How do you feel with being depicted on a canvas

What’s a canvas

Also I would be so honored to get to see that!!! I love knowing that dunks are appreciated and seen. Makes my fishy heart smile.

[dunkleosteus-official]

What does your skin feel like? Is it smooth and rubbery? Scaly? Or perhaps slimy?

Under that thick, plated armor there is a sort of sliminess like that of nearly all fish. I am a bit rubbery, but not quite smooth… I don’t have fully evolved scales either.

I’m trying to get used to my snacks having scales though!!! Scales are really just starting to become a thing and honestly all that new texture does is just make my life harder. It’s a major change and currently i hate it but I’m hungry as can be.

[dunkleosteus-official]

How does it feel to be the coolest fish ever most esteemed dunkle sir/ma'am/your fishiness

My homie i am so grateful for all of this support. It feels so amazing because i get to be cool with cool people asking me questions about life.

I am simply a fish, and i am cool because i get to be around cool people and it’s a cycle of feeding each others’ coolness.

I’m emotional so I’m so sorry if this doesn’t make sense.

I am so honored to be a cool dunkleosteus!! Especially when i get to share the coolness!!!

[dunkleosteus-official]

Near the coastline, where the sunlight still touches the ocean floor, swims a beast.

The light rippling from the surface dances on his armor plates and make the polished gravel glimmer beneath him.

A critter hiding among the seaweeds scampers away but it's no avail. The beast has already seen him.

This is the most beautiful narrative about snack time I have ever seen. You truly understand me. Thank you for this masterpiece.

[dunkleosteus-official]

Hello mister Dunkle. How is it dunking? Tell us a cool dunkleosteus fact.

It’s dunking pretty well!! A fun little factoid is that I don’t actually have teeth. I use my jawbones to crush up my dinner’s armor. Basic, I know, but seriously. Crunch!!