WARNING! This is an AU. An alternate universe. It touches on themes of transgender identity, internalized transphobia, and homophobia. Please, if you do not support the author's views — PLEASE SCROLL PAST AND DO NOT READ! I am doing this first and foremost FOR MYSELF! If you enjoy it, I will be happy to see your reactions, reblogs, and comments.
Happy belated Pride Month.
This story will be divided into three parts:
1. The first part, and the most important one — about Rowen's history. Specifically, up to the moment of self-acceptance. This will be the final, canonical version for my universe. I have revised and restructured it many times, trying to make it work for me, and I have reached a compromise.
2. The second part — about how she began to become Rowen. This covers her story up to the age of twenty-five. That is, when she had already finished taking the potions and became Rowen.
3. The third part, and this is if you are interested. How this story evolved. A little bit about how I came up with it and about my visions as the author.
So now — let's begin.
Part One. The Beginning.
Overall, her story as Rowen began in early childhood. She doesn't remember exactly how it started, and she probably couldn't put it into words anyway. But in her mind, there is a picture of herself as a little girl, standing in front of a mirror, thinking: "I want to be like Mum." That was her first conscious thought. But even at that age, she had to constantly play a role. Especially after George was recognized as a boy.
This story is rarely discussed by the Weasley family, but from the earliest childhood, even before conscious memory, George (at the time, named Elaina) had always been similar to Fred. Even then, Elaina didn't like who she was. That was when Rowen, at the time Ron, approached her then-sister.
— Why do you hate your name so much? — Ron's voice was quiet; it was evening. They were supposed to be going to sleep, but no one could.
— Because I know it's not my name. It's completely wrong.
Just to be safe, Elaina was taken to Healers, and they were able to determine that Elaina should have been born a boy. Then he said only one phrase:
— I want to be George.
And no one argued with him. That was the first time Rowen saw the twins truly happy. Fred and George became that unforgettable team. They were still almost indistinguishable, except for a few details. But George was happy.
And Rowen was jealous. But then, being a child, a thought occurred to her: "what if... I'm not imagining things?" But she was frightened by her parents' phrase about six sons and one daughter. What if Rowen was supposed to be a boy? A stupid thought that contradicted her essence, but she was scared. Scared that she wouldn't be accepted, even though she had a different example right in front of her eyes, but in her head there was always that "but." She buried herself underground and began playing the role of a boy from an early age.
And so it continued until Hogwarts. She was a boy, and boys like girls. But then she realized that her heart beat faster not from the glances of girls, but from the touches of boys. She became frightened of herself. It was wrong; she was supposed to be like normal guys. By the time she was thirteen, George had started looking at her with strange glances. There was something odd in them, but she could never figure out what they meant. Were they mocking her? But there were no smiles. Never.
Time flew by; with Harry and Hermione, it slipped through her fingers, and everything became unimportant. Until at fourteen, everything suddenly turned upside down.
An argument with Ginny over a "wish." She doesn't remember exactly what it was about. Something to do with Quidditch, she doesn't recall precisely. But the wish itself she will remember for the rest of her life.
— Ron, try on my dress!
Typical silly teasing. What's so surprising? Rowen started joking that the dress would sooner burst at the seams than she could fit into it, but a bet was a bet. She couldn't refuse.
She was fourteen. She looked at herself in the dress. She felt awkward, but inside her chest, everything began to beat... calmer. As if the fear had vanished, and relaxation had set in.
The old name, the one she remembered. She saw that word in a book and changed one letter, and she knew instantly that this was the name she wanted to hear directed at her.
R O W E N.
And that was when this storyline truly began.
Part Two. Real Life.
Rowen could only talk to one person — George. But approaching him about it was emotionally difficult. So she started doing small things for her own pleasure. Sometimes she would alter her clothes, but without magic so that no one would find out (her fingers were often covered in scratches because of this). She moved toward self-acceptance very slowly, changing at a pace she could manage. Playing the role became harder and harder, and she turned to toxic masculinity to make sure no one would suspect what was hidden behind Ron's mask. Fear — that was her constant companion. Along with an immense shame. She started arguing less, because that drew less attention, and she could be more herself, though her best friends asked what had happened and why Rowen had suddenly become calmer.
But how do you tell them that their Ron had never really been the Ron they all knew?
— I'm just tired, everything's fine, really.
That was the most believable answer. And so it seemed like everything was moving at the same pace. Slowly but surely.
But then the war began.
This part is very hard to write about, but let's just say one simple thing — her mind was elsewhere. War, stress, deaths — and everything that was locked inside her head. And also the fear that she would die and never get to feel like her true self. She was terrified that everyone would remember her as Ronald Weasley. She didn't want that. Besides her family, friends, and everyone else, she was fighting for what was inside her. She promised herself that someday, she would find the courage to tell the truth about herself.
When the war ended and Fred survived but fell into a coma, she began spending a lot of time with George. And that was when she told him the truth about herself. Acceptance came immediately. George had already transitioned by then, and he became Rowen's main support. He was there when she came out to the family. They reacted... ambivalently. It was hard to readjust, and they often made mistakes, but they managed to accept it. Step by step.
Of course, there were conflicts, but they died down because family is the most important thing to them.
When Fred woke up and was recovering, he took the news as a matter of course. Basically, he and George had long suspected it and sometimes discussed it, but only as a hypothetical.
At nineteen, she began her transition.
And it was during this period that she fully realized: she was a girl who loved boys.
No romantic storylines are planned in her story for now. Maybe someday.
This might all be expanded upon!!!
Part Three. The Creation Itself.
I am very grateful to the authors on AO3 who wrote some really great fanfics on this topic. Very inspiring. The story has changed a lot and was originally much harsher plot-wise. But I decided to make it more positive, a kind of escape. I also planned a Cedric/Rowen pairing, but I completely abandoned that idea.
The story was planned as a huge epic, but I changed my mind because I figured I definitely wouldn't be able to do it alone :D.
The Tumblr blog will be back up and running soon; for now, I'm just planning to have fun. That's about it.
Sorry if it's a bit rough. Just felt like having a good time.
i wanted to ask do you know any local queer or just trans communities? if yes, do you interact with them or at this point you are afraid of them?
have a nice daaaaay :3
-🌟
Thank you so much for the question, and sorry for the late reply — I have absolutely no energy right now :(
About communities... honestly, I meet different queer people from time to time. We kind of gravitate toward each other and figure it out, but I'm still too scared. When rumors spread among other people — it became an absolute nightmare, and now I have this feeling like I'm being watched, like there's no place where it's safe to be myself yet. It's not even about something physical, it's... in my head, I guess?
My safe place is George, Ginny, Harry, and Hermione. They're enough for me (plus, Lee Jordan! They're nonbinary, they don't hide it, and sometimes we sit together at the shop while George is busy with something, and we just talk).
