Discover Top Posts Tagged with #ask lanky

Favorite animal?

dogs. all dogs. every dog. They can do no wrong

Favorite part of your job?

shifting into a lanky motherfucker and scaring the absolute shit out of people

Dealing with idiots in the woods

Best question I’ve ever received: “At what altitude do deer turn into elk?”

Is there anyone you'd want to sleep with? ;)

I’ll sleep with anyone provided they keep up with basic hygiene and don’t give a shit about personal boundaries

communal napping is the best and I hate sleeping alone.

What’s the dumbest way you’ve been injured?

Well, almost bleeding out because I shot myself in the leg is a pretty dumb one.

Runner up is starting a fight with a Moose. I do not recommend it but I had to get it to chase me out of that ladies yard somehow.

I’m a forest ranger, I’m legally allowed to angrily provoke wildlife.

What animal would be the most terrifying if it could speak?

Cats.

They’d tell you everything that you already hate about yourself but in a really pretentious voice.

Hottest people in White Crest?

There are so many. Sometimes it’s annoying being attracted to both genders.

Did you eat any of the sky fish?

I hate fish and I sure as shit ain’t gonna eat fish that fell from the sky

How does a park ranger get lost in a forest??

honestly its all lanky’s fault dumb mother fucker explores and then i end up somewhere

you’d be amazed at what sleep deprivation can do, you lose all sense of direction

#ask lanky