Show Displeasure Clearly

Jericho Wolfe. White Mountain National Park Ranger and the local Lanky Lad himself. I hope Karma slaps you in the face before I do [RP Blog for Wicked's Rest]

[problematic-ranger]

Hottest people in White Crest?

There are so many. Sometimes it’s annoying being attracted to both genders. 

[problematic-ranger]

Favorite animal?

dogs. all dogs. every dog. They can do no wrong

[problematic-ranger]

deadicated-nate

 “Did you eat any of the sky fish?”

Right?? It's such a bad idea to eat sky fish.

Usual fish already have parasites and diseases that can be transmitted zoonotically, I really don’t wanna think about what random fish from the sky could carry.

[problematic-ranger]

Did you eat any of the sky fish?

I hate fish and I sure as shit ain’t gonna eat fish that fell from the sky

[problematic-ranger]

Is there anyone you'd want to sleep with? ;)

I’ll sleep with anyone provided they keep up with basic hygiene and don’t give a shit about personal boundaries 

communal napping is the best and I hate sleeping alone.

[problematic-ranger]

carringtonblackwood

  How does a park ranger get lost in a forest??

Have you tried a compass?

I always have one with me, but honestly, I can’t even remember where I was or if I tried to use it. I must have since I managed to get back... eventually

[problematic-ranger]

How does a park ranger get lost in a forest??

honestly its all lanky’s fault dumb mother fucker explores and then i end up somewhere

you’d be amazed at what sleep deprivation can do, you lose all sense of direction 

[problematic-ranger]

Favorite part of your job?

shifting into a lanky motherfucker and scaring the absolute shit out of people 

Dealing with idiots in the woods 

Best question I’ve ever received: “At what altitude do deer turn into elk?”

[crow--teeth]

no fucking awoo. no awoo right now. its late. its not awoo time. its sleeping time. go the fuck to bed.

[problematic-ranger]

Winter Walks || Jericho & Remmy

[problematic-ranger]

whatsin-yourhead‌:

It was 4am again and Remmy’s eyes still hadn’t shut. Not a single wink of sleep. Not that they felt tired, but they knew that sleeping was important. They’d longed for it while over in Afghanistan. They’d craved it. They could never get enough. Tossing and turning at night, wondering if they were going to wake up in the morning, or die in their sleep, only to wake up and find themselves wishing they could go back to sleep. It was both a relief and a bother. Remmy never really knew how to explain it, until now.

It was a longing.

And though their body did not tired– perhaps from the multitude of uppers they took– they still longed to sleep. They longed to not have to be conscious for just a little while. To slip away from the world where they were stripped and broken and exhausted. Not physically, but mentally. To slip away from a world where they were alone.

Finally, Remmy threw the sheets off and sat up. Moose was asleep next to them, but the second they started to move, Moose stirred and lifted his head. “Hey bud,” they said, reaching over and patting him on the head. “Shall we go for a walk?” they asked, glancing around. “Maybe that’ll help us sleep.” Moose hopped up at the word, grabbed his lead from where Remmy stored it, and brought it over to them. Remmy fitted his harness around him and hooked the lead in, before standing up. “Yeah, that’ll be nice. Maybe we’ll go up through the woods. I think there’s a nice hiking trail up there?”

Half an hour later, Remmy found themself at the start of a trail up into the forest that stretch North of the town. Dawn light was still a far ways off, but the brightness of the moon helped illuminate things for them. Besides, they’re vision in the dark had somehow improved. Musta been all the nights they spent up at Camp Dwyer. They’d run drill after drill at night, as their team mostly infiltrated during the night. Of course, they wore night goggles on actual missions, but they were still required to operate in the night. Remmy could even disarm a basic HHE in the dark, just by feel.

Another half hour later, and Remmy realized they were lost. Moose trotted up ahead, sniffing the trail as they walked, pausing every few seconds to turn and make sure Remmy was following him. He really was well trained, Remmy had to admit. Still…he wasn’t well trained enough to get them back to the trail head, was he? Remmy snapped lightly and called him back to them, but halfway back, Moose paused, sniffed the air, then turned. His signal that something– or someone– was approaching. Remmy stopped, stayed perfectly still– until another dog came bursting out of the bushes and lopped straight up to Moose. Moose stayed still, glancing over at Remmy. He was waiting for them to allow him to play. 

Remmy’s shoulders drooped as they sagged with mild relief. But what was a dog doing way out here? More rustling. “Hey there,” they said, kneeling in front of the new dog, “where’s your owner?” They glanced around, but no one was in sight. Suddenly, the dog stood up and took off. “Hey, wait!” they called, picking up Moose’s lead, and bolting after them. “Don’t run that way! You don’t know what’s–”

But they never got to finish their sentence, as they came to a skidding halt in front of a man, standing in the middle of the trees. “Oh– um– is that your dog?”

Jericho slowly followed the hounds, meandering through the dead foliage. He smiled as he heard their happy barks and bays, hearing the crash of leaves as they tackled one another. Oh to live a dogs life.

He sang a jaunty tune under his breath, kicking leaves around as he went. 

“ 'Cause you can do like you do Or you can do like me Stay in the cage, or you'll finally take the key “

Jericho took a few running steps forward, jumping onto an old log and imitating the bar dance of the scene. He jumped off, landing with a somewhat panicked noise as he almost slipped, attempting to turn it into a flourish. He managed to get his balance back, laughing nervously as he continued onward. At least no one was out here to see him land on his ass. 

He continued with the tune, his voice trailing off as he watched the dogs run past him, all convening on one spot just over the hill. His curiosity piqued, he jogged to catch up with them. Jericho couldn’t hear much more than the rustling of leaves and he gave a low whistle, calling them back. All five wolfdogs returned quickly, their breath showing up as clouds in the cool winter air and he patted them all, looking up as he heard a rustle of leaves coming straight for him. 

Jericho made a startled, almost inhuman noise as he was suddenly face-to-face with another person as they skidded to a halt in front of him. He jumped, almost comically away from them, the dogs behind him scrambling out of the way. They formed a semi-circle around him, all looking at the strange new human and their dog.

They asked him a question and he paused, looking down and glancing around him.

“Uhhhh... which one? I mean they’re all mine, so yes...” He quickly looked the person over. Androgynous, blondish hair, kinda short, pretty sure he had seen them around town here and there, recognized their dog, but had never actually met them. He clasped his hands together, placing his index fingers against his lips and giving them a confused look. 

“Are you lost?” He asked quite plainly, gesturing to them with his hands.

[problematic-ranger]

I’ve been stuck in the wilderness for three weeks. I don’t remember much of what happened. I feel like I’ve eaten a lot of garbage.

I come back to fish everywhere and for once, something smells worse than I do

If anyone needs me, I’m going to be taking a five hour bath

[problematic-ranger]

chasseurdeloup‌:

I was aware of the red sky and the drawings and the flooding and the monsters weird sea creatures washing up on the shore, but there are blood puddles, too? I feel like we should expecting an apocalypse any day now.

what do you mean the sky is red? It’s the same blueish grey it’s always been??

And weird sea creatures? How weird? As in I gotta go wrangle a seal and put it in the sanctuary for a few days or ‘call a hunter’ weird?

[problematic-ranger]

deathduty‌:

What material are your shoes made out of? Is it dried or still fresh?

Hey! Get in line! They’re buying me new shoes first.

Uuuhh.. leather? And rubber soles? I’m not really sure they are just hiking boots. I tried rising them off in lukewarm water with some hydrogen peroxide but it’s not coming out, there’s no way this is ‘normal’ blood

we can fight them for new shoes 

[problematic-ranger]

thebickedwitchoftherest‌:

I’m new in town, but uh is spilling giant puddles of blood all over town something people pull as a prank around here?

I’m not sure I get the punchline for it but I mean, I do admire the dedication.

Oh yeah, something fucky is always going on in this town it’s like the twilight zone. Kids get bored sometimes and like to coat things in chickens blood for the ‘ooooOOoo spooooky’ effect but it just means I’m having to clean blood off trees for a few hours to keep animals from being attracted to it. Blood puddles on porches and stuff is a new one but eh, just hose it off

But people are also saying that there’s a freaky red tint to the sky but it just looks normal to me?? so I’m not really sure what’s going on. 

[problematic-ranger]

ofmyownpack‌:

I bet they smell great with your sense of smell.

Eugh, it’s not even smelling like normal blood. If it were just a metallic scent it’d be fine but this shit is foul, like GI bleed foul.

[problematic-ranger]

chasseurdeloup‌:

One of those blood puddles? That’s a thing that’s happening around town now?

Oh yeah, if it isn’t blood puddles and creepy chalk drawings, it’s something else fucked up going on in this town. One of them showed up on my porch, thought something got one of my dogs until they were all accounted for.

[problematic-ranger]

vashtiofbarzrud‌:

Just go barefoot? The rest of the animals that roam this Earth seem to be content to.

Can’t tell if you’re a hippie or if you’re trying to talk down to me