Any advice for what to do if your long distance partner was talking to their ex behind your back after she explicitly created rules forbidding that?
She also has high risk HPV and has not made my safety a priority in the handful of times we’ve met in person and had sex.
First off, I have to ask if you’re okay? Are you in a safe environment?
If someone creates strict boundaries for you but secretly ignores those same boundaries themselves, the issue isn’t just “talking to an ex.” It’s the double standard and loss of trust.
The HPV part also matters. If you feel like your health and emotional safety were treated as secondary, that’s not something you should talk yourself out of caring about. If they aren’t being safe, creating that safety, informed consent, etc, it’s not a safe thing to be around and would seek out professional advice and help from someone who definitely has more experience with this sort of thing! (Maybe a counselor, doctor, clinician etc!!)
Long distance relationships already rely heavily on transparency. If you are already questioning about things in your relationship, maybe it is best to reevaluate your relationship with them.
All in all, this is just advice and I’m so happy you reached out to talk about this and ask! Send me a DM sometime, I’d happily be a friend!
Much love!