Lily: Hey Parsley... why won't you let me hug you? Don't you love me? ;n;
Parsley:
The tiny bombay— now three months old and showing to be smaller than his growing littermates— shifts anxiously, dropping his eyes down to his paws before glancing towards the nursery exit; escape. But rather than flee, he faces the problem, one he’s seen upset his sister in the past.
"Of course I love you," he responds, voice strained. It hurts him to think that she didn’t know that, or that she might believe he didn’t. "I… I don’t understand it, Lily. I don’t like… being touched." Ever since he was young— even before his eyes were open, or so his mother tells him— he would squirm away from her baths, wiggle as far from his siblings when it came to feeding, even slept at the tip of her tail instead of in the bundle she would roll them into. "I love you. I love mom too, and May and Caydin, and dad, and Zay and Jazz. But hugging… doesn’t make me feel loved. And it doesn’t feel like my giving you love. It just makes me… anxious and scared and— and trapped. I don’t want to be scared of you…"
It’s always upset him. There wasn’t a time in his life, after seeing the confusion in his mother’s eyes and the distress in his sister’s, that he hadn’t wished himself different. Wished that he could nuzzle, and cuddle, and— and do all those things that seemed so normal. But he couldn’t, he can’t. And he doesn’t know why.
"I’m sorry," Parsley whispers, and he feels helpless. A new helpless— not the exasperated kind, like when he couldn’t stop his sisters from trying to escape the nursery. He felt like he really couldn’t do anything. At least, when they wandered off, he could follow them and be ready to do something. Here… With this…
There was nothing. No amount of intelligence, or knowledge, or maturity was making this any different, or any easier. He still didn’t understand it, and he still couldn’t change how he felt. Getting around problems, finding something to make things better, that’s what he always tries. Not stopping his sisters, but being there for them when they got into trouble. Doing something.
He’s never cried before. Never been upset, like this. Lily thinks he doesn’t love her. Does mom think that? Dad? Do they think he’s broken? Is he broken??
Swiping his paw over his eyes, the little bombay sniffs. “I love you a lot Lily. I promise I do. I’m… I’m sorry I can’t hug you. I wish I could. I want to hug you.” He looks at her, eyes pleading; believe me.
