#ask susan

[caravaggiosbrushes]

idk if you’re still into the terror but I’ve just discovered your fics and art and hoooly fuck 💕💕💕

Ahhh!! Yes, I'm still and probably always will be into The Terror, though I've been less active everywhere in the past couple of years because of Adult Life Abroad. But the terror is always in my heart x

thank you for reading my fics and checking my art omg!! I really appreciate it <3

also i just published a new fitzier after YEARS, in case you're interested :P

[entertainmenttodayy]

"Well, I couldn't just stand there and let such brutality continue towards the poor fan! Although their advances were. . Very concerning, I couldn't let harm come to someone that was still innocent!" ~All Might

“H-Hello All Might, Brad told me you watched the show but that was indeed quite the quick call” Susan replied to the caller startled, having thrown her opinion on the recent ordeal.“I agree, the actions of the police were quite excessive for the crime. However, Sir you should know that you indeed have a right to privacy you have been protecting us for years and those that idolize you for being…well built should have interactions and affections sent from afar.”“I am sure you would stand up for such comments and suggestions towards your fellow heroes (and alternate versions) and as such should give yourself the same support” 

[bad-outsiders-ideas]

Ponyboy Curtis has echolocation.

[flygirlreads]

I’m afraid of flying but have to soon. Any tips?

Honestly, it depends on the reason you are scared to fly…But I’ll give you a general list to help.

Know you itinerary. Take a screen shot of the email and set it as the lock screen on your phone. This way you know ALL flight times and flight numbers

Download the airline’s app. Most of the legacy carriers in the US you can create a free rewards account. Create the account, download the app, and upload your confirmation number to the app. It will then sync your travel day to the app and help you stay up to date on airports, possible delays, and other things.

Stay hydrated. Flying can be drying and exhausting. Staying hydrated can help keep you calm and focused. (Bring a refillable water bottle to refill past security.)

Depending on the airport, be there about 2 hours before the flight. This gives you enough time to check a bag if you have too and get through security without rushing. If you get short for time and have to rush, it can add to the stress.

When you’re boarding, if you are comfortable, ask the flight attendants to talk to the pilots. Usually they’ll let you. Familiarizing yourself with the faces that are flying the plane tends to help. The guys and gals upfront are usually super nice and love a face saying hello.

Be OK with telling a flight attendant “I’m sorry I am a bit of a nervous flyer and might seem a little stressed on this flight.. I just wanted to tell you now.” While you’re boarding or when they do their final safety checks.

Bring a set of GOOD earphones and pre-download movies/shows to any electronic device you can. Pack a good book, a crossword puzzle. Just bring things to help keep you entertained so your mind can focus on other things!

Have fun. Flying is actually the safest mode of transportation! 

And lastly, have a meditation app, or a breathing app. If you get super stressed, these can help when you feel the stress coming. (Also ring a flight attendant call button and tell them. We’re trained to help you! They’ll probably give you oxygen and it helps SO MUCH.)

[caravaggiosbrushes]

aaaah for the colour palette thing, how about Francis in 29 (victorious!!) or maybe James in 22 (bruising... u__u)? whichever one you like best, and no pressure! :D

why not both? Both is good ;)

Thank you for the request, here are your parents on their Sunday walk <3

( send me a palette and something to draw!)

[caravaggiosbrushes]

What fanfiction concepts do you wanna share? Those that will you Eventually write but havent gotten to it yet 👀👀 If you have any -✨

BRO I HAVE SO MANY I DON'T EVEN KNOW SHERE TO START so here some random stuff i already started more or less recently:

- fitzconte pwp

-FITZIERCONTE PWP

- fitzier bodyswap in canon

-something i started writing today thanks to a terror kinkmeme prompt i found which in short is: james + nipple play. Lots of it. LOTS OF IT. (THIS IS MY JAM!!!! Can't wait to make him cry from pleasure ehehehe)

- a thing that i literally had titled as: "bubblegum james" (i blame Bea for this)

[caravaggiosbrushes]

From the fic prompt list: fitzier in either 35 or 46, I'm up for some good comfort piece 🖤

Hello bby, I finally finished it! Thank you for the request and I hope you’ll like it :*

35: "You don't have anything to be sorry for."

46: "Please don't say that about yourself. Please don't believe that. You're so much more than that. You're so…"

The party has long become a blur of too warm lights, too bright colored skirts and crinolines, and too many amber drinks in glimmering crystal glasses, by now.

It's not the first party or public gathering they attend since coming back, but James is still disoriented by the fact that this is people's daily life. That this was his daily life too, until a few years ago. A lifetime ago.

Most of all, he is shocked by the loudness of it all: the combination of alcohol and constant chattering and clinck-clinck of crystals and fine china plates and the scraping of chairs on wooden floor and the talking, the talking, the talking. Everyone seems to have every kind of things of greatest importance to discuss with him and Francis and James can't blame them -he knows they are quite the curiosity of the entire city, possibly the entire Country, right now,- but nevertheless he still finds himself wishing he and Francis could leave, unnoticed, and just go home. God, he is dreaming of the silence of their home right now: its quietness, its soft lights, their two bedrooms that most nights are simply their bedroom and the room that holds James' clothes and belongings. He dreams of that, right now, of being held by a pair of strong arms in the comfort of their bed which was Francis' bed and still is, for their housemaid, but for the remaining of the time is their bed and that simple thought brings so much blinding joy in James' chest.

Thinking about this, he realizes that Francis has left his side for quite a while now. He has left some time ago, politely making his excuses and smiling at everyone in their little circle, but wasn't explicit about why he wanted to step away or where he was heading to. James hasn't followed him, nor asked anything, even if the moment Francis has stepped out of his line of vision James felt unbalanced, as if someone has cut off one of his limbs.

Now, a quick look around the room is unsuccessful, Francis is nowhere to be seen, so James takes advantage of that and uses it as an excuse to go looking for him and stepping away from all the chattering and talking, at least for a little while. "If you'll excuse me, gentlemen, I think I'll go searching for something as dangerous as the Passage itself." All eyes are on him in an instant and James offers them his most convincing smile, "That would be Sir Francis, of course."

Everyone laughs, delighted at his joke and assures him that is alright and please come back with him soon, we would absolutely love to hear more of your stories!

With a final smile, James is finally free to leave and wander around for a while.

It's only after a couple of strolls around the room, completely unfruitful, that he starts feeling a bit anxious and then, of course, ridiculous because of that. They're not- there anymore. There are no dangers here. Francis is alright. He is alright.

Still, James feels the collar of his uniform cutting at his throat like a rope, feeling hard to get his breathing under control. It’s only when he steps out of the salon, in search of a bit of fresher air that will hopefully have a calming effect, that he notices him.

Francis is standing with his back to him, apparently staring at one of the larger paintings hanging in the hallway. The relief upon seeing him again is more powerful than anything else and James couldn’t, for the life of him, tell what the subject of that painting is. Everything is blurred, except for Francis.

He closes the distance between them with much too controlled steps (he would run to him like an insubordinate child, if only this were a dream).

"Captain Crozier," He calls for him, voice almost reverberating in the empty hallway, "Here you are, man. I thought you had fled the scene already." without me, is what he can't add.

As soon as James gets a look at his face, however, he realizes it was the wrong thing to say. Francis doesn't mirrors his -calculated, but still- easy tone of voice, quite the contrary: an expression of deep concern and stress is painted on his face, deepening the lines around his eyes and mouth. James would like to smooth them all away with light touches and even lighter kisses.

He can’t do that. He doesn't move.

Francis finally meets his gaze and visibly steels himself, taking a breath, avoiding his eyes once again.

"I'm sorry, James. It wasn't my intention to leave like that." He rubs at the spot in between his eyebrows with a nervous touch, "But I couldn't take it any longer."

James feels puzzled and his face must show it. "Take what?"

Francis meets his gaze and looks so, so tired, so much that James wishes he could hide him somewhere under his coat and says his goodbyes and just leave, finally leave and take him home.

He can’t do that. He doesn't move.

"Well," his posture is perfect, but the tiredness weights visibly upon his shoulders. He looks presentable, yes, but he doesn't look the best version of Francis Crozier that James is so well acquainted to. "Being asked questions they don't really want an answer to." Francis keeps his voice low, barely audible, "Listening to all those empty chatters- I couldn't bear it before, but at least back then I had alcohol to distract myself. Now I'm defenceless against these-" He shakes his head and shuts his mouth. "My apologies. Pay no mind to this, is just me doing what I do best: brooding and being of no entertainment."

His weak attempt at relieving the tension fools neither of them.

James wishes he could take a step towards him, place his hands on Francis' shoulders, take his face in his hands and say exactly what he wants to say.

He can’t do that. He doesn’t move.

"Francis, you have nothing to be sorry for."

"Oh, I'd say I do, James." He gives a short laugh, all bitterness, "Quite a handful of things, actually. I can even tell you the exact number of things I am sorry about, if you want-"

"Don't do this." He stops him, before he can lose himself in those thoughts.

"I try not to, you know that." Francis nods, "but," what follows is almost spit out, Francis’ face morphing into an expression of anger, disbelief and deep, profound sorrow: "Everyone keeps- complimenting me, James."

James nods and then nods again, because he knows. He knows what Francis means: it's exactly why he doesn't like social gatherings anymore, it's the reason why they both avoid them now, as often as it is socially acceptable. It’s why sometimes James still wakes up at night covered in cold sweat, his mind replaying in an endless loop his every mistake, forcing him to live it again and again.

"Pay them no mind. It's painful, I know it is." He tries his hardest to put everything he really means in these words, "They don't mean bad, they simply have no idea of what you've faced."

Francis holds is gaze and ah, if only James could step closer and place a kiss, just one single kiss would be enough, on his furrowed brow, that would be enough. It would smoother the tension that holds Francis' face and body as taut as a violin's string. Jamous would whisper sweet nothings directly on his skin and kiss him and simply keep him close, waiting patiently for those thoughts and memories to leave him.

But everything James can do here is taking one step towards him, and look at him, pouring every thought and gentle touch in his gaze, hoping Francis would be able to translate them and understand them.

Maybe he does, because his eyes widen just a fraction, in disbelief (that's so very Francis).

"And you, too." He says, "You lived what I lived and you can still do- this," he gestures at the open door of the salon, far away on the other end of the hallway, "But I can't, because of course I can't. I'm broken, I can't even go to fucking parties." He shakes his head quickly, out of pure nervousness, arms straight at his sides. James' hand burns with the need to touch him.

"Captain Crozier," He says, as firmly as he can, and keeps talking only when Francis is looking at him, focused, "You know how much I respect you," how much I hold you close to my heart, how deeply I feel towards you, how much light your eyes bring into my days, "But sometimes you're the most infuriating of men."

Francis stands there, stock still, expression just a little bit confused and it would be almost comical if it weren’t this important of a matter.

"Do you know why I stepped out of that room?" James doesn't leave him time to answer: "Because I was suffocating. Because I couldn't hear my own thoughts anymore with all that talking and those noises and because my mind kept wandering" towards you, my personal North Star, "Do not think that you're the only one who finds this hard. I know you do and that's understandable," James takes another step closer, decency be damned: he has to make him understand, "And I wish you wouldn't have to feel this way, because it pains me immensely to see you troubled. And I know I can do very little about it-"

"False." This time it's Francis the one who interrupts. He hasn't taken a step back. He's holding James’ gaze, his eyes almost flaming when he goes on: "False. You can do so much- James, you're the only thing that makes it bearable-" the sound of footsteps stops him and they both take a step back, quietly. They know how to do it.

A couple who James cannot bring himself to be interest in, walks by and they exchange a polite greeting. He hopes they won't take notice of his too rapid breathing.

Francis clears his voice and James busies himself by finishing his whiskey, slowlier than what he would normally do.

They step closer to each other once again at the same time, as soon as that couple is out of sight. Francis places a hand on his free one and holds it gently, but surely, "You're the only thing, James."

He almost doesn't let him finish before saying: "And you, as well, to me." Turning his hand just so in Francis’, to brush his thumb on the side of his palm, "You know that. I just… I wish you could see yourself as I do."

His gaze becomes softer at that. "I'm just a mess of a man-"

"Francis." James almost snaps, "Do you know how long I've been-" enamoured. obsessed. in love. "Admiring you?"

He frowns, probably surprised by the question. "I... couldn't say."

James makes sure to look straight in his eyes, "Since I read about yours and Ross' expedition." He delights in Francis confused, even more surprised and a little bit shocked expression, "That's right. Even before we were formally introduced." Francis looks like he wants to say something, but James has a point to prove and doesn’t stop, "I read about the two of you doing incredible things and you especially- you embodied everything I dreamed to be. Still do. A great man, brave and adventurous, a responsible captain who takes all the best decisions and God, I was so envious of you." He laughs shortly, thinking about his younger self.

Francis looks genuinely affected by his confession and his voice is almost a whisper, "You never told me this."

"I never told anyone." He shrugs, holding his gaze, "What I'm saying is that what happened doesn't make you a bad Captain. And God, it doesn't make you a bad man, Francis. Quite the contrary, in fact."

Francis looks speechless, lips slightly parted, blue eyes shimmering.

"I," His voice shakes a little. He takes a breath and smiles with such fondness that James’ heart swells underneath it. "I think it's time for us to go home."

He wouldn’t ask for anything else.

"Let's go home."

(send me a prompt from this list!)

[caravaggiosbrushes]

Hey! For the art emoji questions! I hope these haven’t been asked yet 😄

🎁 Do you prefer drawing fandom stuff or your own characters?

🌊 What’s the hardest thing for you to draw? 

Bonus! Pick one you want to answer if you’d like 😍

Hello!!

😄 which is easier: faces facing left, right, or front view:

....¾!!! That's my favourite favourite face position, but between those I'd say facing right, because I draw with my right hand!

🎁 do you prefer drawing fandom stuff or your own characters:

I don't have any OC yet! I'd love to have one one day but it's still something vary foggy to me, perhaps because I love drawing fandom stuff so much!

🌊 What’s the hardest thing for you to draw?

Bodies! And also, architectures, because i never never do that (but it's sooooo cool)

Bonus question i chose is: 🙌 draw a doodle with your non-dominant hand

I present you: The Art™

(art questions!)