So we're trying to figure out how to answer a question or two left in our inbox, but in the mean time, I really want to share an excerpt from a book I'm reading that really inspired me.
I'm doing this without even mentioning it to London and Cheshire so hopefully they don't mind. xD
I also don't think this'll become normal or anything like that. As far as I know this'll be just a one-time thing, but I feel this is helpful, as it helped my brother, my close friend, and myself.
The reason I want to share it is because this passage, along with the entire book, has helped me in my own life and I feel like it could help others.
I feel like this book has really helped me a lot and I encourage everyone to read it. It's called The Alchemist, written by Paulo Coelho.
I hope this helps you as much as it helped me. If it does, you should definitely read the entire book.
*
[PAGES 30-32 of The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho]
"A certain shopkeeper sent his son to learn about the secret if happiness from the wisest man in the world. The lad wandered through the desert for forty days, and finally came upon a beautiful castle, high atop a mountain. It was there that the wise man lived.
"Rather than finding a saintly man, though, our hero, on entering the main room of the castle, saw a hive of activity: tradesmen came and went, people were conversing in the corners, a small orchestra was playing soft music, and there was a table covered with platters of the most delicious food in that part of the world. The wise man conversed with everyone and the boy had to wait for two hours before it was his turn to be given the man's attention.
"The wise man listened attentively to the boy's explanation of why he had come, but told him that he didn't have time just then to explain the secret of happiness. He suggested that the boy look around the palace and return in two hours.
"'Meanwhile, I want to ask you to do something,' said the wise man, handing the boy a teaspoon that held two drops of oil. 'As you wander around, carry this spoon with you without allowing the oil to spill.'
"The boy began climbing and descending the many stairways of the palace, keeping his eyes fixed on the spoon. After two hours, he returned to the room where the wise man was.
"'Well,' asked the wise man, 'did you see the Persian tapestries that are hanging in my dining hall? Did you see the garden that it took the master gardener ten years to create? Did you notice the beautiful parchments in my library?'
"The boy was embarrassed, and confessed that he had observed nothing. His only concern had been not to spill the oil that the wise man had entrusted to him.
"'Then go back and observe the marvels of my world,' said the wise man. 'You cannot trust a man if you don't know his house.'
"Relieved, the boy picked up the spoon and returned to his exploration of the palace, this time observing all of the works of art on the ceilings and the walls. He saw the gardens, the mountains all around him, the beauty of the flowers, and the taste with which everything had been selected. Upon returning to the wise man, he related in detail everything he had seen.
"'But where are the drops of oil I entrusted to you?' asked the wise man.
"Looking down at the spoon he held, the boy saw that the oil was gone.
"'Well, there is only one piece of advice I can give you,' said the wisest of wise men. 'The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon.'"
The shepherd said nothing. He had understood the story the old kind had told him. A shepherd may like to travel, but he should never forget about his sheep.
The old man looked at the boy and, with his hands held together, made several strange gestures over the boy's head. Then, taking his sheep, he walked away.
You've all said you like One Direction. I don't know how much but...how are you dealing with anniversary feels because they are killing me <3 You can completely ignore this if you want. I know this is a serious advice blog and I don't even know why I am putting this here...buh bye :) <3
I have actually cried over the wonderfulness that has been my dash today.
I can't cope, to be honest.
~Cheshire xx
Adding in my input because I was sitting up on my laptop at 12am(not that I usually don't) sobbing over my wonderful boys.
It's hard loving them sometimes because the fandom scares me but I definitely love days like today.
I'm desperately in love with my best friend who isn't interested in people of my gender. I don't want to lose our friendship, but I can't get over him. Being with him all the time is like a slap to the face, but avoiding him is even worse, because he always asks what's wrong. I don't know how to handle it anymore, and I'd be so grateful if you could help. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Oops! Long message again. We just have a lot to say...
Alright. With something like this, the main thing you have to have a patience. Not for him to come around necessarily, especially if he isn't interested in your gender(though him coming around is a possibility, just a slim one), but for your heart to move on.
One of my best friends liked one of her friends who was gay. She did for a while and it really hurt her, but she moved on. She never thought she would, but she eventually did, and you will too.
It'll definitely take time.
I'm not sure if you're a male or female and if you're gay or your best friend is gay, but here's a little offer of advice on both those scenarios:
If you're a girl and your best friend is a gay male, I'm not entirely sure what to say. Maybe that you need to move on. People can always figure out that, 'hey, maybe I'm not gay' but usually, if they've decided they are, it's not a decision made lightly. They'll probably make certain of who they are and what they want before coming out as gay because not everyone is always accepting. Sure, he can still fall in love with girls if he happens to, but it's not very likely. And so I recommend being patient with your heart. It'll hurt, but take your life in strides-- worry more about enjoying your time with your friend rather than wanting to be more. It'll be hard and take time, but it'll all work out. You and he will find who you're meant to be with.
If you're a gay male and he's a straight male, yes, you should try and move on, but I trust you've heard Frank Ocean's story? Maybe? He admitted his feelings to his best friend, admitted he was in love with him, and his best friend had a girlfriend. Three summers after Frank admitted to his friend, his friend admitted he felt the same. Now, I'm not telling you to go and admit your feelings and expect him to eventually admit he loves you as well. I'm just letting you know that it's not impossible. He could possibly be harboring feelings for you and not be aware. But that is also a slim chance unfortunately. Again with what I said for the other scenario-- take life in stride. Don't fret and love being with him. Don't worry about having more-- just worry about being with him and having a good time with him.
If one say he loves you back, I'll be so happy for you.
I hate to admit this however, but for either scenario, there isn't much of a promise.
One promise that there is is that everything will be alright. You'll find who you want to be with for the rest of your life, and he'll find who he wants to be with. If it's each other, that is truly wonderful and I'm so happy for you. But as there's a small chance, I'm going to say that there is another guy out there for you, and that there's someone out there for him.
I really hoped this answer made sense and that it was helpful. I'm also really sorry that I can't offer more advice in this, too.
Everything will turn out fine in the end, however. I can promise that. (:
