#askdad

[always-sublime-collectors-blog1]

Get yours at https://teespring.com/stores/mikes-ts-shop #askdad #dadknowsbest #dadknows #lifeofdad https://www.instagram.com/p/BznFFVilPHw/?igshid=1uvr4027kd8bv

[cartfullofsavings]

50% off at checkout on Go Ask Your Dad Shirt, Variety of Colors https://amzn.to/2M7jdRF

[ustwofryes]

Why Did Dad Abandon me? Or did he?

Its difficult to start this one; but I am going to write this as my point of view being a step mom and witnessing my husband being accused of this by his children. His oldest accused him of abandoning them, she was very verbal on how she felt. very harsh, hurtful things were said to him. Very disrespectful, but you know what we don't blame her. She has witnessed only her mothers side and only heard her mothers side. She never gave her dad the chance, he was made to look bad from dad one. #askdad As she has grown older and is a young adult now, who suffers from depression and anxiety, I am sure that is his fault also. How? Ask yourself. Dad was forced out of their lives, #momplaysvictim Dad was not given a choice where he would go, or anything when mom decided she was done with him. She had already bought the plane ticket.  #dadisheartbroken You see mom has admitted she made a mistake and wanted dad back, #adultery Dad did not want to take her back, he could not forgive her of her #adultery, trust was broken.That is when things started getting more difficult, Mom started cutting his phone time down, and less communication, it was okay for her to replace dad, with #theloveofherlife who she separated from shortly after marrying, still wanting dad back, but found out dad had remarried and just wanted to be dad. #askdad So my question is did dad abandon you or was he forced to no contact? #askdad #momisalienator

[moonrot-blog1]

Hey I saw the ask you sent to barfcult about undertale, commander holly is doing a play through of it and so are game grumps so I recommend them

thank u!! ya I’m watching the game grumps one! I’ll definitely check the other 1 out tho!

[moonrot-blog1]

ayy I've been been meaning to ask you, do you want to get together and make a list of the lgbt+ vocabulary we should put up? :^o

Ya!!! I was thinking we could make a sign that says ask before u speak and has a list of pronouns!! :^))

[dadsofcomedynyc]

Dad Bod - Part II

My fellow Dad of Comedy recently wrote on Dad Bod, and as a coincidence, I was taking notes on this very subject myself...read on!

I have heard that #dadbod is in - whatever that means. Whenever I hear something is "in', I generally run the either direction.

I am on vacation with my kids this week. For those of you who follow me - all 2 of you - that means vacation with me and a 14 year-old boy and his 12 year-old sister. And, I am divorced - or getting there. So, "dad bod", if in fact it is in, is of somewhat interest to me. I need to know what I am up against.

Let me explain the main components of the dad bod and where they reside.

1. Love handles - those misnamed physical accompaniments that have NEVER, and I repeat, NEVER, been the subject of any #menshealth headlines, are apparently acceptable for the dad bod. They continue, however, to be largely ignored and non-impressive to said teenagers.

2. Man boobs - those things that, if it were not for hair follicles, would make one wonder: "is this a nude beach?", are still not part of the aforementioned dad bod. They are, however, a subject of much speculation with my kids given recent developments with Caitlyn Jenner.

3. The vertical/horizontal man-drift - let me explain. You know that thing you get (as a man) where your stomach can form 4 somewhat even 'slices" based on the vertical mid-section and the horizontal line often started or prominent between the bottom of the chest and the top of the waist? Again, not in. Though - in moderation - perfectly acceptable as per the dad bod guidelines.

4. Confidence - definitely the pre-eminent characteristic of the dad bod and one that I have never, nor ever, will posses. I can't walk as confidently as these non-shirted, dad-bod dads with my shirt on as they do with it off. And that, my friends, is the reason dads and dad bods will always be in. After dealing with kids, it really doesn't matter any more. That is the essence of Dad Bod.

Long may it reign. From me and my dad bod, Marc Kaye

[dadsofcomedynyc]

Why Dads Matter Most

Why do dads really matter? Why it's for the amazing excuses of course. #askdad

Here are my daughter's favorites:

1. "I'm sorry I'm late - my dad keeps forgetting where his wallet is and it has his license.'

2. "Can (insert friend's name here) come over here instead? My dad said he drank a lot of his happy juice and shouldn't drive right now."

3. "I didn't get to Sunday school because my dad said that cleanliness is next to godliness and we're going to home school today."

4. "I don't need to take health class because I already learned about sex from my dad...oh, and about capital punishment, too."

5. "My hair looks this way because my dad had to help me do it this morning."

6. "I thought a shower once a week was fine in order to not dry out my skin. That's what my dad told me anyhow."

7. "I'm this white because my dad taught me how to apply sun tan lotion every 2-3 minutes."

8. "It's not my fault - I learned to pitch from my dad."

9. "I didn't get my homework done because my dad was too busy making me watch some stupid 80s movie."

10. "I'm sorry! I didn't get your message because my dad stole my charger again!"

[dadsofcomedynyc]

OMG! I AM THE WORST DAD EVER, EVER, EVER!!!!

According to my kids, I am the ONLY dad in town who:

1. Won't let my kids wander around town with kids I haven't met for 8 hours at a time 2. Makes them play 20 minutes of piano a whole four times a week 3. Makes them wear a helmet when biking "only a mile" to the town pool 4. Thinks that they need to wear sunscreen more than once a day 5. Gives a sh*t if we have dinner together.

But in all fairness, according to me, they are the ONLY kids in town who: 1. Haven't figured out how to close their drawers 2. Push down the trash under the sink 3. Would go an entire month without a shower without constant prompting 4. Wear 1 outfit that serves as bathing suit, outfit for the movies and pajamas 5. Need to just relax after just waking up.

Got something you want to know about - is it normal or not? Tweet it to me @marckaye1 or email me at [email protected].