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#nbd got some space in my wings
Susan’s like “I have the best friends ever.”

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askfallencas
#nbd got some space in my wings
Susan’s like “I have the best friends ever.”
◊ - askfallencas
Put a "◊" in my ask for a sticky note left on your fridge in the morning by my muse.
I'm sorry-Rachel
Castiel and Paxton
Send me two names and my character will react to accidentally walking in on those two in bed with each other.
She knew- in theory- that Paxton and Cas were together. She knew they had a relationship, but she’d tried not to think about what that meant in a physical sense. She tried not to ever think of Cas in that way, because… ew. Just… gross.
And now she was scarred for life. Cas isn’t actually her dad, but close enough. And she’s had some impure thoughts about Paxton, if she’s being honest. This is… u g h.
"Learn to lock a door, goddammit!" Her voice is a little shrill and she slams the door, breathing hard. She wants to walk away but she can’t let go of the door knob. She wishes the floor would open up and let her disappear because she can never look either of them in the face ever again.
askfallencas
Fuck. Angel. Angel! Abort. Abort. Run. Del edged towards the door to the back room and hoped he would not be noticed.
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"Hey, do you know where the sheriff's office is? I'm lost."
To Them The Streets Belong | askfallencas (closed)
Rachel spent a lot of time alone these days. Part of it was paranoia--her back itched and her eyes couldn't stop moving. Part of it was that now, more than ever, she felt like a goddamn lightning rod. Being around people put them in danger. She'd made so many enemies, burned so many bridges, it was just better this way.
But mostly it was just the easiest way to hide how lonely she really was, how scared, how close to coming apart at the seams.
She tipped her head back, letting it rest against the tree behind her, looked up at the stars through the canopy of pine needles. It looked so soft, so peaceful. Not for the first time she thought about taking that one way trip, whether up or down. Probably down. Seemed like a good way to just cut to the chase.
She turned her phone over and over in her hand, but didn't unlock the screen. Her last text to Paxton had basically said she wasn't coming back as long as Castiel was there. God, it made her sick, but what choice did she have?
She was a lightning rod now.
"This isn't about that! Rachel, this is about letting your family and friends love and support you, it's about letting us do things for you, letting us help you when you struggle. It's about talking to us and at least *letting* us know when you're leaving. What if I ran off? What if I just up and left? How would you feel?"
She twisted the blanket harder, still staring at the dry erase board opposite her bed, where the nurses wrote her status and treatment details.
"I'd be pissed," she said quietly. "And worried sick. And I'd come after you." She didn't have an excuse, really. She couldn't say she'd never had people who cared, because she did. And she treated them like shit. She was a selfish, cowardly brat.
"And I keep telling you. I. Do not. Care. I do not care if you are 'fucked up' because so am I, and so am Paxton. What 'normal' families have a Prince of Hell, a fallen Angel of the Lord, and a ley witch from another dimension? Our family is 'fucked up.' I love you, Rachel, and I cannot stand it to see you leave, because my family is small enough and I *hurt* every single time it gets smaller." His voice was sharp and his eyes watering as he sucked in a breath.
"Cas…"
What could she say? He had her dead to rights, and the worst part was, she had never thought of it that way. She was so caught up in her own bullshit, in justifying her running away, she never spared half a thought for what it really meant to the people she bailed on. Danny had tried to tell her this over and over, but for some reason, when Castiel said it, it went straight through to her core.
"I’m sorry," she said, feeling about three inches tall. "I just—panicked. I’m not good at—at sticking around. I don’t feel right unless I’m… in the middle of a bunch of shit."