Western AU
"There was a rumble in the distance. Huge hoofed beast came thundering down the mountain. I knew they were the biggest horned horses that had ever seen these lands. Upon their backs a pack of Mad Abe’s most brutal murderers. Their screams echoed in our fair town and sent the men into horrible fits of shivering fright. Glass shattered and crashed onto the dust covered street. The fiends carried sticks of fire and death. Large flames rising up above old milk mill showed that there was no w-"
"Milk mill?" There was a snicker from the brown haired girl. "I’m sorry Texas but this is too much."
"Do you want to hear the story or not!" Texas flew up in a half stand above the fire barrel, throwing his hands into the air.
Michelle grinned and raised her hands to calm the other burner. “My mistake. Milk comes from mills. Carry on.”
"AS I WAS SAYING!" Texas said sternly. "The GIGANTIC flames spread above the WHOLE town! Trapping everyone in there with the army of super trained brutal murderers! They all had bone armor made from real bones and in their hands they held sticks made of fire! No wait! I remember! The sticks were super long TNT sticks and there was LIGHTNING shooting out where the fuses were supposed to be! Anyone even looking their way fell down of fright because the horses all had red eyes and the whinny they made could shatter glass!" He cleared his throat and shifted his stance, widening his arms and puffing out his chest.
"Things looked really dark right then! Even if the whole valley was on fire and it should have been light, but it wasn’t because the fire was evil dark fire that made the whole town set ablaze in… DARKNESS!" For the last word Texas hunched over the fire barrel, kicking it just a little so that sparks flew into the air around him. Then he had to take a break and frantically beat at the sparks that flew into his hair. Michelle waited patiently and forced herself not to laugh.
Texas straightened up again and folded his arms over his chest. “Things looked very grim indeed. And dark. But the fire was closing in and the thousand of blood thirsty vampire murderers upon their werewolf giant demon horses and somebody needed to stand against all this sin. Even if that somebody was just an ordinary cowboy…. Me.” He grinned and jabbed a thumb in his own direction.
"Of course." Michelle added quickly, but Texas didn’t seem to notice.
"Seemingly an ordinary man, but what they didn’t know was that they were up against EL TEXAS THE MIGHTY! The fastest gun slinging butt kicker in the west! KA-CHAW!" The black dressed young man jumped and made a high kick above the fire before he continued. "I strode into the middle of the road. Where those beast led their path. As they saw me they spurred their horses, prepping to trample me down. But I eyed them good and well. Then I ACTED!" Texas sprung to life again. Jumping back and forth in front of the fire, tossing his arms up and pointing his fingers like guns. "POW! PANG! PEW PEW!" He squinted with one eye as he shot down imaginary targets. "The TNT sticks were crackling, but I shot the fuses right off them! ALL OF THEM! Before they had even gotten a step closer! The lightning fell from their tips! Electrocuting their own horses! And once the horses had fallen the TNT BLEW UP right in the murderers’ faces! KABLAAAM!"
Texas’ shout echoed through the landscape. A few cows stirred in their rest and could be heard mooing in response. Michelle looked around to make sure Texas hadn’t frightened anyone of them, but apparently the cows were just as used to his shouting as she was. “Alright Tex. That’s enough for tonight.”
"But I didn’t get to finish my story." Texas whined.
"Let me guess. The attackers that survived fled back into the mountains and the whole city burned down and was rebuilt again in a day because Texas has supernatural building skills?" Michelle put away the cup she had been cradling in her hands this whole time. She dusted some crumbs off her pants and stretched her back.
"Now that’s where you are wrong. You see the thing about evil dark fire is that it only burns good stuff like food and candy and people if they get too close. So once I used my mighty muscles to carry all the water in the river to put out the flames it turned out that none of the houses had been burnt down yet!"
"Sounds great." The girl tossed her sleeping bag on the ground and then she followed suit. Michelle wriggled into the warm comfort of her temporary bed and waved at Texas. "You take first guard. Seems like you got enough energy for it."
"Awww… I didn’t even get to the part where Mad Abe showed up and I knocked him over the head with his own peg leg."
