#asktheshorty

[shortymcpunkbutt]

hey thanks for getting back that money i already lost again

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im not sure which is worse, that they made them all owos or that the product title itself is shorthand for that piss kink

gholy fuck is it??? lmao

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#by turnt i mean eating madeleines I just imagine you going all "EDWARD IT'S TIME TO PARTAY LET'S GET TURNT" and he's all "I quite concur, my flower petal jewel, I shall have some madeleines delivered to our suite at once" and you're just "hell yeah."

Listen to me. I would kill for madeleines. Not even joking. If you handed me a gun and said “kill this guy if you want a madeleine” I would. Even if it was a test and the gun was loaded with blanks I’d strangle that guy to death. Don’t even try me.

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ohhhh misfortunate and in extremis? xx

Oh shit I hope this was sent recently? Hope I wasn’t ignoring messages by mistake!

Misfortunate – Unluckiest moment in game?

That fUCKING TIME when I was in that cave with all the fucking Ninjas in Conquest and I had raised the rocks up so I accidentally separated Niles from the rest of the group and these Ninjas closed in on him but he was able to counter some, however he missed EVERY time he was able to counter and he died and I was so mad.

But without meaning to I managed to kill Kotaro with Shura so Shura was able to get his revenge, yay old man.

In Extremis – Clutch moment for you in game?

Man I was such a fucking dumbass on my first Conquest run. So, on the Great Wall of Susano map I had Elise paired up with Effie but then Effie fucking died so Elise was just out in the open with no one to help her, but I watched that shit play out. Some guys got some good hits on her and she was at less than half her health and I was like, this is it she’s gonna die. Last two guys come up to attack. She dodges first guy’s attack, crits on the counterattack and kills him. Second guy comes up, she dodges and crits again and kills him. Player phase begins and I go take a shit out of relief.

Thanks for the ask @the-commander4!

[shortymcpunkbutt]

Supportive, Swap, annnnnd Paragon~

Supportive – Who did you S-rank and why?

Awakening:

Cherche: Red hair? Check. Rides a wyvern? Check. Swings an axe? Check. Is a mAID??? CHECK. cherche hits like all of my kinks damn im nasty

Libra: Listen to me Libra is the most perfect man that ever existed and he does not deserve any of the bad shit that has happened to him ever. Also he receives Attractiveness+2 for having an axe and long hair.

Say’ri gets an honorable mention, I didn’t marry her but her and my F!Avatar became Supreme Gal Pals and I would have married her with an M!Avatar but had to return the copy of Awakening.

I borrowed @yoyoyoyohane‘s copy of Awakening but if I had it for longer I probably would have ended up marrying every girl.

Fates:

Rinkah: RINKAH IS MY WAIFU FOR LAIFU also another axe wielding babe??? Do you see the pattern here.

Reina: Literally right after I married Rinkah fucking Reina shows up and I’m like? I love you? You rode in on a giant bird and right into my heart Reina. <3 also she’s a total milf DAMN IM NASTY

Xander: Not even lying I actually married Xander out of spite because he’s a DICK in Birthright so every time the sleeping minigame appeared I slapped him. If Fates was a game about political intrigue and not awesome anime fights then I would have murdered Xander after marrying him and after using his power to defeat Garon to secure my place on the Nohrian throne without him. I’d probably have t take out Leo too since he’s too smart for his own good. Sadly I can’t do any of that, I guess I’m ahead of my time. and tbh if given the chance I’d dom the hell out of xander

Azama: I LOVE AZAMA SO MUCH HONESTLY HE IS 100% BAE. He’s such a good unit and my Kana and Mitama are so strong?? “Fruit is proof from the gods that they love us. Just kidding! Life is meaningless.” I love him he is so precious and also he is another priest so +1 to him.

Silas: SILAS IS MY BRO AND MY HUSBAND. Look I love Niles but I wish Silas could have been another gay option because he’s so sweet and idk about you but he still seems to have some feelings for M!Corrin, dat boi is bi and you can’t convince me otherwise.

Since I’m working on it now Charlotte gets an honorable mention because holy shit, another axe wielding babe, what a fuckin surprise. But I love her we will make a wonderful life together, just her, me, and a bunch of axes.

Swap – Did you ever sacrifice a unit in order to save another?

Like every run of Awakening I did I sacrificed Ricken on that map where you have to save Maribelle. I think he only died once but the only reason he survived every other run was because I wanted to grab the Elwind tome from him before he died with it. But yeah I basically just used him as a meat shield because Maribelle was more important.

Paragon – Was there a unit that you put extra effort into/ favored over others?

Hoooo boi let me tell you Rinkah was kinda OP by the time I was done with her. The kid units in Fates I put a lot of work into, my Mitama is just a magic-soaking tank and my Kana is The Fucking Strong so, when I don’t know what to do I just send Kana in there. Also both Selkie and Shigure have Amaterasu and Voice of Peace so I just gotta space out my units cleverly and at the start of the turn they all get nice and healed up. Shiro is p strong too because Rinkah is his mom in my current file and Sophie is strong because I like using her just for her Mischievous skill LOL.

Thanks so much for sending in an ask @otomesiren! This was super fun!

[shortymcpunkbutt]

Edward, as a diehard sponsor of the arts, sponsors the newest blockbuster hit of the summer, "The Shorty Who Shagged Me"

Oh my god. Edward. Honey. No. I love you but. No.

[shortymcpunkbutt]

When you get this, post with 5 things that make you happy and then send to the last 10 people in your activity!

Alright let’s DO THIS:

5) Food! Food is my life. I love to cook and part of the reason I’ve been feeling down lately is we only have half a kitchen right now, so cooking hasn’t really been a possibility. Once we get a working kitchen you can bet I’ll be cooking up a storm!

4) Birds! I love all birds. Even the really noisy ones. I wish I could scream at 4 am and annoy people. I could, but I’d probably get written up for a noise offense.

3) Doing my nails. I know it sounds silly, but for years I had a bad habit of chewing my nails. i was finally able to kick it, and now i can grow them out long and make them look all pretty. It’s one of the ways I take care of myself and make sure I devote some time just for me, which is something I often forget to do.

2) Drawing! It’s the one thing I’m really proud of, since most people won’t/can’t devote the time and energy to it and become good at it.

1) Talking to my friends. I’m so glad I’ve met so many wonderful people through the fandom. Even if things have been slow right now we still have each other and for that I’m very grateful.

AND that concludes Marni Being Sappy. Now get the heck out of here.

[shortymcpunkbutt]

Okay consider: you shall henceforth be referred to as "Pen-guin" or perhaps "Flam-ink-go." Do you have a preference.

OOh definitely Flam-ink-go. Flamingos are pink and fabulous and eat a diet of mostly shellfish, just like me!