sometimes being nice isnt a good enough reason. being polite isnt a good enough reason. having someone else's idea of what is "right" or "good" imposed on you doesnt really help you decide whether or not to do something harmful or to try and repair harm, and knowing that someone else would be ashamed of you doesnt help you make an informed and healthy decision.
some people, sometimes, need reasons that arent feelings or guilt or peer pressure. some of us need to build up our own ideas of right and wrong, test them, and adjust them as we learn more, and in that way create meaning in our decisions that isnt rooted in short-term impulse satisfaction and temporary relief from pain, boredom, stress, loneliness.
if i had tried to base my moral compass on other peoples emotions or on guilt id have given up on doing the "right" thing long ago.
instead, i made the deliberate choice to figure out the most effective way to be a source of relief, support, and healing from harm for the people ive chosen to share community with, and who chosen to be in community with me. i am constantly revisiting and reworking my moral code with that in mind, building it using things i understand and can objectively observe rather than things that i do not understand, perceive, or care about.
because of this, sometimes people mistake me as being empathetic, or kind hearted, or project emotional experiences on me i do not have. i consider these people strangers for the most part and resist the urge to "show them the truth" because, all in all, it doesnt matter.
what matters is that i do what i am to do, which is to be a source of relief for those i care for, and to be a unending torment for that which threatens the safety and wellbeing of life as we know it.
i do that best by honoring and working with my abilities and needs, not by fighting or denying them.