#aspd exceptions

[aspd-culture]

ASPD culture is: Wracking your brain trying to understand why your exception person is an exception person.

He’s not even exceptional. He’s just the only person who can make me laugh. And I have absolutely no idea why that is. I can’t for the life of me figure it out. He’s not special. He doesn’t serve any special purpose for me. He’s actually quite average. He’s…normal. But for some reason he’s the one person I can stand being around for longer than 30 minutes. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t judge me when I share an unmasked thought? But it doesn’t explain why he makes me happy when no one else can.

It’s so fucking confusing, and honestly a little embarrassing—and I don’t get embarrassed easily—that for some reason I’m so attached. Like what do you mean there’s someone out there who has me wondering what they’d like for dinner, or who I’d just get up and do chores for. What do you mean there’s someone out there that I’m genuinely considerate of? It’s never happened before. I wasn’t even that attached to my own parents.

Anyway. We love the anon function, because no fucking way am I saying sappy shit like this with my name on it.

Too real, yeah. I honestly think Exceptions happen with little to no rhyme or reason sometimes. My biggest Exception besides my Mom that I have had in my life for more than half of it literally happened when I made one of my dry jokes that usually pushed other kids away and instead he burst out laughing. Since that day, for that, I have my best friend hopefully for the rest of my life. It's wild how that shit happens and it makes me wonder if this is what prosocial connections are like? Like do they, for no other reason than because of one single joke, make foundational relationships ALL THE TIME? That sounds exhausting.

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Too real, yeah. I honestly think Exceptions happen with little to no rhyme or reason sometimes. My biggest Exception besides my Mom that I have had in my life for more than half of it literally happened when I made one of my dry jokes that usually pushed other kids away and instead he burst out laughing. Since that day, for that, I have my best friend hopefully for the rest of my life. It's wild how that shit happens and it makes me wonder if this is what prosocial connections are like? Like do they, for no other reason than because of one single joke, make foundational relationships ALL THE TIME? That sounds exhausting.

[aspd-culture]

ASPD culture is finally having an exception person who you genuinely care about and who you think about often…

and then they go and ruin it. But you can’t really leave even if you’re furious and hurt because they’re still almost your exception person for whatever reason

aspd-culture-is

I feel this so much, but like make sure you’re keeping an eye on your relationships with Exceptions. I know it’s hell to do sometimes, but if an Exception is toxic or abusive they don’t deserve access to you. You can leave an Exception and it will suck but it’ll be better in the end if that person was toxic./gen

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I feel this so much, but like make sure you’re keeping an eye on your relationships with Exceptions. I know it’s hell to do sometimes, but if an Exception is toxic or abusive they don’t deserve access to you. You can leave an Exception and it will suck but it’ll be better in the end if that person was toxic./gen

[aspd-culture]

are there any specific terms to ASPD that are important to know? like narc crashes/high, bpd euphoria, depended person, favorite person, and so on?

The only one that I can think of at the moment in Exception. They are not unlike FPs in BPD necessarily, but they are kinda a similar concept with opposite presentation. Afaik, in BPD an FP is where you will see heightened/exacerbated symptoms. In ASPD, however, Exceptions are where, for the most part, we see the least symptoms on a typical day. We may have the desire to be around them, have some social instincts in reference to them, and even experience empathy and/or remorse when it comes to them. However, when we are in a flare, many times our Exceptions will be the main target of our stress/anxiety/fear of people and therefore may deal with the brunt of the flare. This can look like breakups, cheating, lying - sometimes just for the hell of it - picking or escalating fights, violence, etc. That’s because we are most vulnerable with our Exception/s (for those that have them), and we feel the risk of that when our symptoms are flaring. Further, our Exception/s will *notice* the flares more because whilst most people see us with fairly intense symptoms on average days, our Exception/s go from having a nearly typical relationship with us to seeing us as the rest of the world sees us and then some.

Aside from that, I can’t think of any terms specific to ASPD, but if there are more please leave them in replies/reblogs/tags/etc so I can see them too!

[aspd-culture]

ASPD + DID culture is meeting your host's Exception and just not getting it. What's the big deal about this person and why do you guys believe they're someone worth suffering for

I am honestly very glad you said this because it's something I've been thinking about recently. It's a different alter out than the one who runs this blog, and I was wondering if it was possible for us not to share the same Exceptions.

Any disorder that affects the neurology and/or development of the brain (including ASPD) is shared by all alters. Technically, every one of us has ASPD, although our host is considered a "symptom holder", so we all have the capacity to have Exceptions. And yet, I just do not understand his main Exception at all. But he loves him, so here we are.

[aspd-culture]

Is it possible to bond woth someone who isnt an exception? I recently lost respect for someone who i didnt think of as an EP and now theyre just so boring, just another person to mask around when they used to be the first id tell good news to

Idk i just want some nice company for once

Oh definitely. Exceptions are a very intense difference, but there's gray area there. I am tolerant of many people, and I genuinely enjoy the company of some non-Exceptions. I just don't have such a significant symptom relief around them.

And, to be honest, bonding with someone to replace a lost exception is very much in the "transactional" view of relationships, so don't invalidate yourself for being able to do that./pos

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Oh definitely. Exceptions are a very intense difference, but there's gray area there. I am tolerant of many people, and I genuinely enjoy the company of some non-Exceptions. I just don't have such a significant symptom relief around them.

And, to be honest, bonding with someone to replace a lost exception is very much in the "transactional" view of relationships, so don't invalidate yourself for being able to do that./pos

[aspd-culture]

Hey idk if this helps but i think my exception might be another pwASPD and needles to say I am Terrified

Honestly I get along best with other pwASPD. We get each other because we're wired similarly and don't have the annoyance of dealing witb prosocial level emotions and such. Plus we can be blunt and not do the exhausting social dances. I wouldn't worry too much!

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Honestly I get along best with other pwASPD. We get each other because we're wired similarly and don't have the annoyance of dealing witb prosocial level emotions and such. Plus we can be blunt and not do the exhausting social dances. I wouldn't worry too much!

[aspd-culture]

I just realized that a huge foundation of the attachment I have for my Exceptions is respect. If they lose my respect, my love for them disappears and I leave them. However, my respect only disappears if they treat me poorly and suck at fixing things. However it can be gained again if they try fixing things right, and I can regain those feelings of attachment again like nothing happened. What do you think of this?

That is honestly pretty common afaik with ASPD Exceptions. The only thing that isn’t as common is their ability to somewhat easily regain the status of Exception - others I have talked to have a very difficult time getting that back - but I don’t see anything here that strikes me as surprising or uncommon at all. The role of an Exception, for me at least, has always been hugely based on my respect for the person and how deserving I think they are of that respect - based on whatever my criteria for respect are rather than what prosocials base their respect on.

Exceptions tend to be the people we feel we can be vulnerable around, and therefore it makes sense that we - as people who have been severely hurt by people we thought were safe to trust - would hold them to a high standard to keep that role.