Hokland askblog post #17: congratulate your partner on their birthday! (Hokma version)
Askblog tag: #nmoroder hokland ask
Please see pinned blog post before asking questions!
the book title is a nod to Hokma's quiet longing for the old times and people, but surely he would not Think such thing to implement this would exist, hence why making a joke to Roland which wasn't read as a joke. it isn't the book and its potential that Hokma praises him for, it's the feat of searching for a nonexistent book through the whole year to give it to your partner and make them feel better. also this post had been inspired by @redtomb's joke on book search. happy birthday grandpa!
ur nuggets are very cute, i love every post they appear in... do you mind telling more about them? i'm really interested in how they correspond to abnormalities in that post
ohhhhh thank you... im glad people like my dysfunctional kids LOL. i wanted to make a comic with info on them but im not sure when and if i will do that at all, so here you go. in the order of abnormalities:
Burrowing Heaven - Rimma, also known as "the unrequited lover nugget". in the comic archive there is one about her admitting her love for Hokma and him describing it as love for someone that doesnt actually exist. anyway, Rimma's trauma is being abandoned at late teen age, living the rest of her formative years in orphanage and suffering substancial mental abuse which made her view herself as unwanted in personal sense and thus she considers her physical self a tool to getting closer to people. so, her wish to be seen, to have eyes on her is both her deep inner wish for acknowledgement and her unhealthy coping mechanism of indiscriminate sexual life just to get closer to people as a fuck buddy if she cant do that as a nice, wanted person
Price of Silence - Alis, the former team captain. she is mostly chill as a person, pretty reminiscent of her boss but with zero tolerance for working overtime. her trauma is i think farthest from her abno among her peers, it's not about borrowing time to resolve anything but more about the silence and the scythe - she was indirectly a witness to sexual abuse of her classmate and chose to remain silent for whatever reasons, and later as she found out that the classmate ended her life she became ill with guilt and it culminated in her own attempt. she tried to cut her throat and has a scar across it now, she's wearing a white turtleneck so she can cover it. she frequently tortured herself with thoughts on how she'd go back in time and be braver etc etc, but slowly she comes to realize that it wouldnt change a thing sadly. pretty guilt-ridden still
Blue Star - Glenn, one that is the quietest and people could pbly describe him as the "autistic kid in class". he was born in a family that's a part of Church of Gears and was preparing to become a gear himself, to the point that he continuously ripped off the hair on half of his head and it never grew back well afterwards - his hairstyle is half short shaved head, half medium length hair. eventually he's been rescued by a Fixer and spent the rest of his life trying to do at least something with himself, his poor social skills and attitude of a loner that escaped his only attributed fate didnt help him much, very nearly escaped becoming an index proxy as well. he still does not talk to others often but he does long to be a part of something greater, something appealing... Alis frequently asked the manager to keep him away from working on Blue Star as you might expect
White Night/12th Apostle - Jencen, nicknamed a heretic for presumably lying about several people abusing him, while in fact it was truth that's been concealed well enough. still, lack of support made him very unsure of himself and he was constantly trying to change himself to accomodate to others' needs and wants, forgetting who he actually is. Jencen was originally a girl that was raped in teenage years and spiralled into self-decline after people either didn't believe her to be a victim (you're making it up, you just want a pretty boy to fuck you cuz ur ugly etc etc) or straight up covered the abuser (teachers at her school). as years passed by, tired of being called the heretic by her peers and overall despising this body and self, she gathers money for changing documents and for surgeries, and her mother as the only remaining parent considers her dead ever since, rejecting her after she transitioned. Jencen believes that each mishap is deserved by him, that he's lying to everyone around already by the fact of his existence as he's changed himself countless times and doesn't even know what it is to be himself, to be genuine and show it to others; a parallel with Hokma's One Sin affinity is that Jencen broke down a few times in his presence and told him everything, "confessing sins" but really just telling his true life story that wasn't reflected in official records Hokma owned. Tho originally the Heretic dies upon confessing to One Sin, Jencen does no such thing thankfully
