#associated with

[juuls]

Oh no! I don't want you to feel sad! I was more upset about the people who read those ships who may have helped make suggestions. I am always paranoid that everyone hates. I'm sorry, it's embarrassing. You keep being your sweet self though.

It’s a valid feeling. What you feel is valid and real and should be addressed and discussed. I’m here when you’re ready, and I’d like to help. Or just be a friend, possibly? :)

As far as the suggestions go… I made the vast majority of the recs. I didn’t list who made what rec because that would clutter everything up, but like… I don’t have the exact numbers in front of me but I made ~ 230/250 recs. And almost every last one of those that others rec’d were ‘major’ ship recs.

[chrishansenfromdatelinenbc]

I changed my mind actually the type of male characters I fixate on are "guys i would have been friends with but never slept with, thus narrowly avoiding being murdered by them cos theyre serial killers"

[rings-unseen]

I have once again accidentally classically conditioned myself to associate a certain activity with a certain podcast

[slee3p]

hate being the school’s rant buddy

[juuls]

I'm too shy for now, but I appreciate it. Take care. :)

I totally respect that. I would never push you into speaking before you’re ready. You take care of yourself, lovely, and remember I’m here. If you do come say hi sometime, you don’t even need to say that this was you, just so you know. That’s perfectly okay, too. :)

Until next time, darling. All the best to you and yours. 💜

[juuls]

Thanks, I might take you up on that eventually when I feel a bit braver. I always feel like i am the outside looking in in this fandom.

Maybe I can offer some help/advice/suggestions? Or just be a shoulder to lean on or ears to listen (eyes? lol…) But I really do like and want to help, as much as I can and when I can. Believe it or not, I’ve been there, and no one should be made to feel that way.

You take your time, though. Just know that I’m here if/when you’d like to talk.

All the best to you, lovely.

❤️

P.S. I would like to add that I haven’t read SW fics in nearly a year, except maybe one or three that I was slowly finishing reading, as a result of the abuse and following association from my now ex-husband. It impacts the range of works I have to choose from, but I do remember the ones I used to read. It’s been… hard. I tried with the list, and I’m sorry about how you feel about it, but it’s hard. There will be more lists, however, and perhaps there’s a spot on one of my future lists. I know I don’t really need to explain myself, but your words stuck with me and upset me (I don’t like making people feel hurt at all, and I was sad too) and I just wanted to let you know. I hope you know there was never any slight intended. I can’t read everything, and then throw in my ex and all that and I just haven’t read, like… anything in the last year basically.

But I am sorry I hurt you. I don’t like that. :(

And so it would be nice to speak so that we can sort out how you feel, and how I feel, and perhaps get to know each other better. And hopefully I’ll have some words that may help you with how you feel about the fandom in general.

Take care, you. Until we speak again. ❤️ (This is more a message by itself at this point than a postscript haha…)

[juuls]

To the fanfic author who sent me an anonymous message about my rec list and writing for one of the smaller ships, I'd really like to talk with you via PM and hear what you have to say. I’m absolutely open to your thoughts and feelings. Just shoot me a message and we'll chat as my hands allow. :) And yes, we’ll keep this private, you have my word! <3