All I Want Is A Good Woman, A Book, And A Basset

36 | Canadian | she | infp | capricorn | slytherin | biromantic | demisexual | poly of the polyfidelity vein | Mostly pop culture, hot takes, and LGBTQ+ reblogs but with a mix of a wide variety of other weirdo cult culture and book interests thrown in for good measure. | I run a yearly fanfic reading challenge! Check it out at @fanfic-reading-challenge!

[shutyourmoustache]

“There’s simply no room for me to park my hellcat” wins best in show for me.

[theosvangogh-deactivated2021041]

“Lord Byron gets up at two. I get up, quite contrary to my usual custom … at 12. After breakfast we sit talking till six. From six to eight we gallop through the pine forest which divide Ravenna from the sea; we then come home and dine, and sit up gossiping till six in the morning. I don’t suppose this will kill me in a week or fortnight, but I shall not try it longer. Lord B.’s establishment consists, besides servants, of ten horses, eight enormous dogs, three monkeys, five cats, an eagle, a crow, and a falcon; and all these, except the horses, walk about the house, which every now and then resounds with their unarbitrated quarrels, as if they were the masters of it… . [P.S.] I find that my enumeration of the animals in this Circean Palace was defective … . I have just met on the grand staircase five peacocks, two guinea hens, and an Egyptian crane. I wonder who all these animals were before they were changed into these shapes.”

— Percy Bysshe Shelley on the lifestyle of Lord Byron (via timemarauder)

[fluffmugger]

#i am glad history has produced at least two people whose shit was even less together than mine

[unidentifiablelifeform]

[glitchedgirly]

See the thing about Stratt putting all media ever in the Hail Mary is that it isn’t just for lolz or to keep the crew entertained, it always struck me as something deeply sad. Because even if all the crew survived, there was no way they could consume all possible media ever, language barriers alone would present a problem. And even then, they had a job to do and focus on first (which could have theoretically taken decades of work to figure out) so they wouldn’t have much use for The Great Gatsby or a week’s worth of poorly written amateur Guatemalan experimental opera. Let us remember that Stratt is practical and true utilitarian Instead, I think it was another part of the Hail Mary. If the scientists failed, if the Earth died, then what? Everything would have been completely lost. Art, music, film, history. Destroyed. Without a single living soul to remember it by. It would be as if all of humanity had never existed.

But if it survived? If other alien civilizations discovered traces of humanity? Then the memory of mankind could live on and be remembered. What better way to do that than to send everything (literally everything, the art, the music, the science, the history) out as far as humanly possible so that it might connect with someone else in the universe? It would be a long shot, a Hail Mary, but it was the best chance that humanity had to be remembered

[cloudabserk]

don’t do this to yourselves…

[ysolt]

[punkbutch]

reverse version too 🩷💜💙🤝❤️🧡🤍🩷💜

[wintersoldierfell]

you've heard of death of the author, now get ready for death of the audience: where instead of basing your reaction on a thousand uninformed opinions online, you actually read the text and engage with it

[wintersoldierfell]

girl help there's people on this post who can't actually read my text

[jvlianbashir]

my friend's discord server has a "proof of touch grass" channel where they post pics of them doing regular activities outdoors/in public. i think many online spaces could benefit from such a thing

[weaselle]

when i was super depressed - like struggling to eat anything barely able to get out of bed to pee depressed - my good friend asked me every day to send her a picture of me holding a leaf and a picture of a meal i was eating and it helped me significantly

(also, she was never judgey - if my meal was a single potato chip she would simply say good job eating a potato chip today <3 )

which is to say, i agree proof of touch grass is a good idea for online spaces

[yadelah]

This kinda required my brain a bit

[vamptits]

it's just really apparent that people think it's okay to want pain but morally abhorrent to want to give it. sorry but the sadist gets to have fun too. it's actually pretty crucial to the process.

[vamptits]

if I said I was going to a taekwondo class would you feel the need to tell me kicking people on the street is bad or.

[whoopsie-collective]

Image ID: A screenshot of a tumblr comment that says "yeah, its only abhorrent imo, when the recipient is non consenting, i've" the screenshot cuts off.

[dogspouse]

[annabelle--cane]

gothic horror is when there's a location. cosmic horror is when there's an unauthorized fucking Thing. folk horror is when you're outside.

[paper-mario-wiki]

counterpoint

[theeldritchcorvid]

cosmic horror is when the Thing is Not Familiar, the Location Makes No Fucking Sense, and the Outside is BIG.

gothic horror is when The Thing is Of Your Own Making, the Location has a Deeply Bloody History, and the Outside is Wet and Cold and Is Caging You In.

folk horror is when the Thing Should Be Familiar, But Is Not, the Location Should Be Pleasing, But Is Not, and the Outside is Trying Very Hard To Kill You

[dragon-in-a-fez]

there's a group of high school boys in this McDonald's and I just heard one of them say "I bet you you cannae break your own arm" so something interesting might happen shortly

[raelemond]

you know I recently discovered that trial by combat was fully a thing in medieval europe

[raelemond]

not "going on a quest to prove your worth", not "honor duels", but "we are standing in legal court and the winner of a legal argument will be decided by who can wound and/or kill the other person first"

[raelemond]

there was trial by combat over land where people would go to court with some soil, touch weapons to the soil, and then hack at each other. loser gives up the land and pays a fine

[raelemond]

there were rules about trial by combat between husband and wife and fucking guides about what weapons each can use and how the husband has to stand in a pit to give him a handicap

[raelemond]

need a divorce fast? try Just Fucking Killing Him Legally

[largishcat]

okay now that we’ve a had couple lesbian blockbusters and milfs are having a romance moment, we need to bring back the manic pixie dream girl. she was never fuckin suited to fixing all the problems of some boring twenty year old everyman, but you know who could actually benefit from a quirky free-spirited blue haired girl with pronouns (she/they)? a newly divorced forty-something mom who’s trying to learn how to be herself for the first time in her life

[ashenmind]

[jv]

Folks, you know who are newly divorced forty-something moms nowadays? The original manic pixie dream girls. Maybe the plot should go the other way around.

[weepyemperor]

You've seen Self Diagnosis Is Bad, now let me introduce you to Diagnosis Is Bad. You've seen Diagnosis Is Bad, now let me introduce you to Classification Is Bad. You've seen Classification Is Bad, now let me introduce you to Language Is Bad. You've seen Language Is Bad, now let me introduce you to the Gong of Eternal Peace

OMMMMMM

[wingdingle]

[c-130jsuperhercules]

[aw-dag]

You know every show that the premise is like “people find out ghosts/monsters/demons are real and are charged with stopping them” appeal to me way more now as a post-graduate not because I believe in ghosts more or whatever but because can you IMAGINE just being handed a job that you don’t even need to apply for? Like just being told “basically there’s this bad thing and all you do is make sure it doesn’t do what it wants” that’s just customer service baby and I worked that for 6 goddamn years! Just TRY getting past “I have a job to offer you” before I can jump down your throat agreeing.

[aw-dag]

some idiot with a dumb ghost-hunting name who joined the Cause because they love the paranormal: oh fuck oh shit this is really scary guys I’m having second thoughts

me, who knows that if we run away I have to apply to like, a real actual Jobbe again: wakey wakey demons it’s this or retail so guess who’s got nothing to lose

[meret118]

[unspeakablearchives]

(Source: Sen the donkey)