When Anya was a girl, her and her mother would sit and look at the stars while her father cooked up some of his catch from that day. It almost always was salmon, as the lake they lived by had an overpopulation, and her father didn’t exactly cook it well. She never looked forward to the fish, but to the nights where she cuddled in her mother’s arms and learned about the constellations.
One night her mother taught her about astrological signs; her mother was a Virgo, she was a Taurus, and her father was a Sagittarius. It was incredibly complex to her younger self, but interesting nonetheless, and her mother talked about it until her father announced that the salmon was burnt but edible.
Pain panged in Anya’s chest. What she would do to go back, to be held in her mother’s arms and watch the stars twinkle in the night sky. It was different when she was alone—like she was now. When she was alone, the stars seemed farther away, and she seemed smaller, like her life was meaningless in such a vast world.
“Mind if I join you?”
Anya’s eyes were locked onto the night sky, but she could tell it was Astarion approaching her from behind. Anya hummed a ‘yes’, not bothering to send him away. If she said no, he’d ignore her anyway, so what was the use? Astarion became painfully annoying to her when he first joined her little group of parasite incubators, but lately she’d been enjoying his company.
Astarion sat down next to her, stretching his arms over his head. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. The light from the night sky fell onto him, illuminating him as if he belonged with the stars. The heat building in her chest rose to her throat, constricting it like a snake.
The two observed the sky with nothing but the sound of leaves rustling for a short time, until Astarion decided that the two should better share their time with something other than silence.
“You are fascinating,” Astarion said, eyes trained onto the sky.
Anya was now fully on the ground, auburn hair spilled out around her like a halo as she laid on the grass. She raised an eyebrow, rolling her head toward the silver haired elf. “Are you joking?”
“I’m not,” Astarion said simply, leaning on his elbows. “There is something so enthralling about how someone can loosen their tongues about their past with just a word from you, yet you’re the most secretive person in our little camp.”
That was true; Anya always had a talent of getting secrets out of people. But part of that talent was keeping secrets yourself, and if she told everyone everything about herself, what good would her little quirk be? They didn’t have to work as hard as she did to get secrets spilling from their mouths.
“All I’m saying,” Astarion continued, “is that it would be nice to know a little about our leader.”
Anya rolled her eyes, shifting her gaze back to the stars. They were so bright out here, brighter than they ever could be in Baldur’s Gate. It almost made her eyes burn, like she was looking directly into the sun. “My secrets don’t come so easily,” Anya said. Her eyes broke free from the blinding light to glance at him, trying to figure him out. “What is it you want to know so badly?”
Her response took Astarion aback, but he soon regained his composure with a smirk. “Finally!” He said, clapping his hands together. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to crack your shell.”
“You’re testing my patience, Astarion.”
“Very well…” He paused, searching for the right question. Finally, he settled on one, and his smirk turned into a devilish grin. “A girl like you is bound to have lovers waiting for her…”
She should have known he’d ask that question; Astarion was strangely curious of all of their companions’ sexual pasts. She wasn’t sure if it was his form of flirting, or some weird fetish he had. She wouldn’t put it past him. “Your point?”
“Tell me about them? I want to know what gets our lovely leader riled up.”
“I don’t know,” Anya said. “I’ve taken many lovers, each one different than the last.” That was true, Anya didn’t really have a type. Staying in different inns brought different travelers, and she had caught the eyes of many. Men, women, teiflings, dwarves. Though, she’d never bed a gnome. She’d heard stories about them though; what an odd group of individuals.
“Hmm,” Astarion sounded disappointed, like he wasn’t going to get anything else out of her. Hells, it was like pulling teeth when it came to her. He had half a mind of using the tadpole to enter her thoughts “And no one is waiting for you? Not even in Baldur’s Gate?”
“Baldur’s Gate…” She trailed off, reliving memories she’d much rather be rid of. The only lover she had in Baldur’s Gate was Olsin, and he wasn’t a lover. Just an evil bastard with only cared about himself and his sadistic needs. But he was dead now, if the bandits who ran them off the road had anything to say about it. She’d never talked about Olsin before, not to anyone, but Astarion had been so open to her about Cazador. Perhaps it was the least she could do. “In Baldur’s Gate… I was married.”
Astarion let out a snort of surprise, then a sharp laugh. Like her sudden confession was a joke. How could anyone tie Anya down? He thought. She was too quick on her feet to get a leash on her, yet someone in Baldur’s Gate managed to do it? A split second later, Astarion realized he was laughing alone, and turned his head to look at the younger elf. Her face was solemn, and her eyes told him everything he needed to know. She was being truthful, though Astarion suspected she’d never tell him anything in confidence ever again.
“You don’t… seem like the marrying type,” Astarion said finally.
Anya shrugged her shoulders. “I’m not.”
It was obvious to him that Anya didn’t want to discuss this topic anymore, so Astarion refrained from asking anymore questions, despite the burning feeling in his throat. He followed her gaze to the night sky instead, and pointed in the air to a row of stars. “You can see the constellation of the Sword and Dagger from here.”
Anya perked up, leaning up to get a better view of the sky. “I didn’t know you knew your constellations,” she said, notably impressed.
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” Astarion said. He almost added and I, you, but decided against it at the last minute.
Anya smirked. “Don’t worry, I’ll loosen that tongue yet.”
“Will you now?” Astarion said with a smirk.
Anya mirrored the smirk as she pointed out another constellation, and for a moment, she didn’t feel so small looking at the stars.
19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?
Anya’s fear of finding out her partner’s true feelings inhibits her ability to ask questions outright, hindering the communication between the two of them. Anya is used to one night stands in taverns; those don’t come with long conversations about where their relationship is headed, so when she does find herself in what could be a long term relationship, her lack of communication and unwillingness to resolve arguments by simply talking ends the relationship. All the emotions she’s been bottling up over the course of the relationship does tend to tip over though, leading to a meltdown on her side.
44. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?
It is incredibly difficult for Anya to say “I love you”--as she’s only ever heard it from her mother and her mother’s been dead for decades--and she has to be fully committed to a person to even think it in her head. That being said, she needs to make sure the other person feels the same way, which leads her to assess their entire relationship. With Astarion, Anya says it for the first time in the heat of the moment during sex, which freaks Astarion out, to say the least. It leads them to have the dreaded “What are we?” talk, which promptly ends their relationship (for now).
