I'll be Right Here (So Please Don't Wither Alone)
Synopsis; You've exhausted yourself to the point where you don't feel real, but Lucifer is there to stay with you through the emptiness
Reader is MC, GN!MC, Hurt/Comfort
1.2k words
AO3|Masterlist
You're just lying in bed. There's no shouting, no crashes or bangs or even the slight echo of footprints or whispered conversations. Normally, that scares you a bit. You love the quiet, but usually, it means something is wrong, and you never want anything to be wrong for them. They don't deserve it.
Today, that is not the case. It's simply the peace of everyone being busy. Beelzebub has weekend practice, Mammon left for a modeling gig not long ago, Asmo is meeting with someone for a brand deal, Belphie is napping somewhere, Levi is playing games, Satan is reading, and Lucifer is working.
So, with nothing to do, and with no distractions, you're just lying down, like a lifeless doll in bed. Not on your phone, just… not there. Like someone quietly whisked your soul away and separated it from the rest of you.
You want to do something, watch Levi play his games, read with Satan, hang out with the angels and Solomon, even just nap with Belphie. But, you can't. You don't know why, but you just… can't.
Maybe this is what you get for pushing yourself. You've been doing club work, helping the others with their student council duties, studying and completing assignments, and the time between was always spent entertaining someone. Chatting with Satan about the nearby gray and white cat he's trying to befriend, helping Mammon execute his latest scheme, shopping with Asmo, stargazing with Belphie, visiting Madame Screams with Beel, watching anime with Levi, listening to music with Lucifer, baking with Luke, having tea with Barbatos, talking to Diavolo about his latest whim, studying with Simeon, lessons from Solomon, testing Thirteens latest gadgets, being interviewed by Mephistopheles, showing Raphael around Devildom, and so much more.
Rest had long since become a distant dream, and, even though you loved them all dearly, even small things take energy, and apparently, you've been running empty on that for a while now.
You're not sure when you started crying. You just felt that warm wet feeling in the corner of your eyes, gravity warring with surface tension in the hopes of letting your heart fall and dampen your pillow. There was no sting, and no sound to accompany it.
It fit your mood, you suppose.
You made no move to comfort, still lying lifeless in bed, letting the hollowness of exhaustion replace the gaping hole your soul was supposed to reside.
You heard a knock at the door. It was calm, systematic in its rhythm, yet firm. You didn't answer. Moving was effort, and effort was energy.
The knock came again, but this time firmer, and quicker. You forced yourself to wipe your face and get up, and every movement felt wrong. Hollow. As if you were not a person but a mechanical doll instructed to move. You opened the door the same way.
Lucifer was there. You couldn't comprehend the words flowing from his mouth, or the soft yet firm tone of his voice, his deeper register indicating his exhaustion. You didn't understand anything, until he sounded… sad. Concerned.
"Are… you alright, Mc?"
Ah, it must have been showing on your face. You tried to smile, to get him to leave. You had your pride, too. It's what got you into this situation, it isn't the first time, and it won't be the last. You just need to be alone, to regain your bare minimum over the night, and you'll be able to function again.
"I'm fine, Lucifer! What were you talking about, again?"
He just stared at you, face scrunched up as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and concern. It was cute. Perhaps, if you weren't so lifeless, your smile would've softened at the sight.
He sighed, then entered the room. You let him. You didn't have the energy to push back.
He looked at you again, and you wondered why.
"Would you… like to talk about it?"
His voice sounded stilted, like he forced the words out. As if he had to fight something within himself to express a sentiment you couldn't yet understand. You simply shook your head.
It was silent for a moment. He cleared his throat. You went back to your bed. Not lying down, just sitting on the edge, just enough on the bed to not seem rude, but still enough to be able to fall onto the mattress instead of the floor in the scenario that your body gave up on holding itself upright.
He sighed.
"I understand if—" a deep breath "you do not wish to… confide in me, but, please, don't feel obligated to pretend in front of me. I will know, either way. It's a waste of effort to hide something that I'll always see."
His face scrunched up again, and he began fidgeting with his gloves, just barely messing with the edge. You wouldn't have even noticed if it wasn't for how it exposed a sliver of his pale wrist. Did he not like what he said? How he said it? Could his pride simply not handle looking at you as he spoke?
You felt your shoulders relax a little. How long ago did they begin to tense?
Maybe, you thought. You weren't sure what it was addressed to, but thoughts aren't always stamped like a letter, as much as you wish they were. You think things would be easier like that, if every little piece of your thoughts could be organized neatly based on a send to and return address.
"Would you, like to rest some more?"
You nodded.
"…Would you like me to stay?"
You shrugged, small and weak. You didn't —couldn't— comprehend anything outside of how empty you felt, how your body wasn't yours, but simply a vessel who's host left and forgot about the mind trapped within.
So, Lucifer stayed. You wonder why. You probably will until the rest of you returns.
At some point, he moved to sit next to you on the bed. He held his arm out, hovering around you, wanting to comfort but scared to touch. You leaned against his shoulder, then rest of the tension leaving your body as he wrapped his arm around you, his free hand placed over the ones thsy sat uselessly in your lap.
You felt the tears stream down your cheeks again, silent still, yet it seems gravity and the weight of your heart had finally won, and they flowed freely now. Lucifer rubbed your arm, resting his head on top of yours, and closed his eyes. It made you feel better, and more tears came.
As they slowed, he reached into his pocket, and carefully dabbed your tears away from your cheeks. He had you lay down with him, and held you gently as your body rested limp against him.
You mustered the energy to turn to face him, and weakly held onto his other hand. He smiled. You think you smiled back, with the way his brightened, just a bit.
"Rest for as long as you need. You've long since earned it."
You closed your eyes, and when you opened them again, you felt like you were at least a little bit real, and, when the first thing you saw was a peacefully sleeping Lucifer, still carefully holding onto you, hand intertwined with yours, you hugged him, properly this time, and felt, for the first time in a long time, like there was someone out there who understood you. Just a little bit, just enough to rest.
A/N;Thanks for reading! I think this is this is the short fic that I'm most proud of. It was thrown together spontaneously in the middle of the night, but I just really like how I characterized Lucifer. I hope you felt the same!
AO3|Masterlist