So, good news and bad news about Valentine's. I got my gf a box of expansive chocolates, and she got herself a box of it as a gift for me. Should I be worried that she went through both boxes and isn't really slowing down in growth?
Nah
Once you reach the point of 'immobility' there's really no reason to stop. You should probably leave and buy as many of the chocolates as quickly as you can, really. Drain both your bank accounts. Sell whatever possessions you can (they'll be crushed anyway, if you don't).
Get yourself a battery and a solar panel charger from a camping supply store. Get a satalite internet dongle and sign up for an unlimited plan (don't worry about paying next month's bill -wink-) Spend the rest of the money on chocolates. All of it. Don't worry about food or anything like that, her runaway growth should cover her needs, and she'll definitely be lactating by the time you get back to her.
Hurry back and climb on top, and start feeding her more chocolates. Nobody will come after you for your internet bill, soon enough. And after a while there probably won't be any internet, but you'll be able to post about her progress until the satelites get knocked out of orbit.
Just hurry up or it might be too late for you to make the climb on top. Then what'll happen?
You getting crushed? So short-sighted.
No! She'll not get those extra chocolates, and her growth will be far too slow and might even wear off eventually Probably not, though, based on the chocolate's warning label.
It's your job to make sure she grows even faster!
After all, what is the purpose of a woman's existance?
To grow












