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At the Intersection
I remember this intersection. Last time I was here, we were crossing it on foot. The lights danced overhead, leading everyone along their roads, telling them where to go, and more importantly when. Our light turned green and we started crossing. Almost halfway into the intersection we heard the screeching tires, and before we could turn our heads toward the source, we heard the impact. Metal bent…
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Love Cures all Ills
Love Cures all Ills
Today, while looking over my blog, I was moved to share this post again. I hope it blesses you, and the knowledge of God’s love fills your heart.
Because of the job that I have had for so many years, I have been introduced to some of the worse side of human nature. For money, I have watched people lie, cheat, steal, hurt others, and even burn down their own homes in hopes to ease themselves of a…
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I didn’t do it, Toby did; excuses we make to God
I didn’t do it, Toby did; excuses we make to God
I didn’t do it, Toby did; excuses we make to God A couple of days ago, I walked into the bathroom and saw the incident above. My little puppy shredded the sides of my bathroom rug, and then looked up at me as if to say, “I did not do it, Toby did.” As I stared into her cute little face, the Holy Spirit revealed to me, I do the same thing to him. “God, it was not my fault. It was theirs,” I pray or…
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So sorry the posting has been so sparse lately! There has been a lot of personal stuff happening in my world lately, so unfortunately the advice column had to quiet down for a little while. I'm coming back to you all, but in the meantime, my wonderful friend, another therapist Dania, (From At the Intersection on Tumblr) has answered some of your questions... Here's the third.
Anonymous asked you:
So, I'm an openly gay boy and a friend recently came out to me but is
unsure of her sexuality. She explained that physically and mentally,
she likes boys but mentally also likes girls. And she said she could
imagine herself being in a relationship with a girl, but doesn't like the
idea of anything physical with a girl. As a friend, what should I tell her
and how can I help her? Thanks so much for the help!
You’re an awesome friend for asking for help to talk to your friend!
Some of the best support you can give her, it sounds like you’re doing already:
listen openly. Let her know that figuring out sexuality and attractions is a process
and she doesn’t have to make any decisions about anything now. The best thing
she can do is pay attention to what she’s feeling with whom.
It does sound like she’s conflicted about being with girls; she likes the
relationship, but not the physicality. Good news is, she doesn’t have to run into
being physical with anyone. That part can come later if your friend meets a girl
she’s attracted to. She can take time to develop other pieces of the relationship
until she (and the other person) feel ok with moving forward in the fool-around
realm.
If you’re comfortable, and feel like it will help, maybe you want to share your
own coming out process with her. You can also tell her to check out Cat’s
great FAQ: http://queergirlquestions.tumblr.com/faq and this cool article http://
lesbianlife.about.com/od/comingoutadvice/qt/BiorLesbian.htm
about being lesbian or bisexual.
If there are any LGBTQ organizations in your area, maybe you want to take her
on a field trip so she can get a better feel for the queer community and see if it
fits. Sometimes sexuality is like shopping for clothes – you have to try things on
in different styles and sizes to see what fits and what you feel best in. And we all
know it can take patience to find that favorite thing!
Good luck,
dania
So sorry the posting has been so sparse lately! There has been a lot of personal stuff happening in my world lately, so unfortunately the advice column had to quiet down for a little while. I'm coming back to you all, but in the meantime, my wonderful friend, another therapist Dania, (Who writes for "at the intersection" tumblr) has answered some of your questions... Here's the first.
Anonymous asked you:
what do i do when i like someone but it seems like she playing with
my emotions and is hard to talk to? :/
Ooh, it can be tough to have feelings for someone and feel exposed.
Liking someone can make you feel vulnerable to their moods and
thoughts (and actions) and when those don’t match yours, it can feel
like the person’s toying with you.
I hear that it’s tough to talk to her, and I know it can sometimes feel
like the harder path, but I’m thinking the best way to get through this
is to communicate. You could start with “It’s hard for me to talk to
you” and then go into what it is you want to say. Is it possible she
doesn’t feel the same way you do? Or maybe not as strongly? And so
you feel played with? To clear that up, I think you need to ask. Maybe
writing her a note would be helpful.
If you try telling her what’s on your mind, and you still don’t feel good
or that she’s not able to be on the same page, you might want to
consider whether or not it’s worth it to keep pursuing her.
Good luck!
dania
A great resource:
http://attheintersection.tumblr.com/
at the intersection is an advice/musings blog for adolescents, teenagers, young people, and folks growing up. ati posts relevant news, ideas, and questions that provide information and perspective. But mostly, ati answers YOUR questions about life, love, and the pursuit of people paying attention to what you have to say. ati is also a place where you can post questions or thoughts for Dania or answer other’s musings with your own.
