" there's nothing bad inside you . nothing . " kris, for susie!
the sound of nightmares | always accepting!
. . . WORDS FAIL. EVERYTHING FAILS, every alarm & door & wall. susie stares at kris in shudder-breathed silence, throat tied shut. she has not, in greater words, told kris what she is doing here, to be found in a scene so – so laughably similar to something so long ago, by another of the dreemurr family.
– actually, as soon as it registers, she does start to laugh, something watery and gross and decidedly unpleasant. the one time, susie reasons, the one time she goes for a good cry in the graveyard, huh?
palms lift to wipe scaly cheeks, dirt streaking across. “ man, ” she half-laughs, an anxious streak shivering down her spine. “ this whole opening-up thing has a bit of a kick to it, huh? ”
no, kris wasn't told why susie is out here. but susie had talked, just a little, just enough, more than she would have a year ago, or even half a year ago, or, hell, even a month ago, really. she had told kris something recited time and time again, that she is mean, that she is nasty, that she is wicked, that she is bad.
that she's starting to think everyone will always think that about her. and kris goes and says that. go figure. susie swallows thickly once, twice, three times, avoiding eye contact all the while. the instinct to make a fast quip blooms and dies between her molars. usually, here is where she would do it, deflect, and keep deflecting until they bounce.
it's just. . . the way they said it. like they meant every word. like they believed it. god, susie was stealing shit from their lunch box, like, two weeks ago. ( and still is. to be entirely fair, though, they should know what to expect, by now. )
“ . . . thanks, kris. for that, and – for, uh, ” and here, her cheeks heat up again. a fourth swallow. the knot loosens, just a little. susie shifts on the ground. “ leaning against that guy's headstone to comfort me. ”
that's not what she meant to say. susie gets the feeling kris might know that, though.