the oak at windrise throws a wide shadow. @ategod (as sol) stands within it, their face hidden behind a restless lattice of leaves and branches. only the edges of them catch the afternoon sun; a shoulder, a strand of pale hair, the amber of one eye whenever the wind stirs. it is difficult to tell where the shadow ends and they begin. kaeya leans against the trunk. he does not speak at first. sol does. it is a whisper. "i'd rather die than live with no mercy, no honor, no soul."
kaeya remains where he is, silent for a moment longer. his gaze lifts toward barbatos's statue in the distance, unmoving in the light. "and if mercy demands something ugly of you?" he asks. "if honor hurts someone you love? if keeping your soul means abandoning everyone else's?" arms fold over his chest. "tell me, sol." his eye leaves the towering archon and rests on them once more. "when every choice feels unforgivable, how do you decide which guilt you're willing to live with?" he studies it. a curious person, the traveler. there are times when kaeya gets the impression he is arriving late to a conversation already in progress. he has never cared for the feeling. "there are those who are very fond of speaking about virtue when every path leads somewhere pleasant. the difficulty begins when it doesn't."
his hand rises in a vague gesture. "when someone must suffer. when someone must be sacrificed. when every choice leaves blood on your hands, no matter how carefully you make it." a pause. "would you still know which answer is mercy? which answer is honor? or would you simply choose the guilt you find easiest to carry? because that's usually what these grand moral dilemmas come down to. just guilt." an index tips forward, lazily pointing toward sol. "and i've noticed you're awfully determined to carry all of it yourself."
