at fault // heeseung (ENHYPEN)
pairing: heeseung x fem!reader
genre: secret agents!au // warning: mentions of blood, gunshots // wc: ~2.6k
summary: you're supervising the boys in a mission in which one of the members take a hit and you blame yourself for it
author's note: hello and welcome! I have decided to post here just because I think fiction should be enjoyed by more people. my name is Nana, I am older than all the ENHYPEN members, and I usually write in third person with an OC, but to cater to the audience here I have edited all my work into Y/N, although still in a third person point-of-view. do let me know what you think about this!
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The ride back to the basecamp was silent, unlike anything they have ever experienced before. Ni-ki was driving unbearably slowly, mostly because of the heavy rain that blocked his vision, but also because of the palpable exhaustion that everyone in that SUV felt. Their mission was complete. Despite the minor loss.
Sunghoon, riding shotgun, turned his head towards the back and saw his senior staring at the window, watching the droplets ride down the glass. Heeseung was lying beside her, his head on her lap and his clothes tainted with blood. Sunghoon did notice that Y/N was covered in more blood that was definitely not hers.
“It’s not your fault,” said Sunghoon. Ni-ki glanced at the rear-view mirror.
Y/N nodded. “I know,” she replied, barely heard.
It was definitely my fault, Y/N thought to herself as she carefully placed a hand on Heeseung’s chest.
(Four hours earlier)
The boys were all huddled up in the van, listening carefully to the instructions that were being given to them by the chief. Y/N was holding up the radio, making sure the chief’s voice was heard clear throughout.
“Remember to follow the protocols,” said Chief Lee, ending the briefing.
“Yes, Sir,” Y/N ended the call and gave a quick look to each of the boys.
It wasn’t the first time Y/N went on a mission taking the newly recruited agents. In fact, their previous missions went so well that the chief made their team permanent. It seemed like their bond created during the training period was meant to last.
Sunghoon had never missed any detail. This was what Y/N noticed the first time she observed their group task. She realized that Sunghoon was the quickest to memorize each member’s position, and he was also quick to correct any mistakes a member had done. Placing him as the strategist was probably one of Y/N’s proudest moments.
Ni-ki was the most reliable in terms of physical strength. He is a know-it-all, do-it-all type of agent. The fact that he was the youngest of them all did give him extra points. Ni-ki had always came in first whenever they go for casual runs, and since their graduation, he had always been trusted to man the vehicles.
Jungwon quite literally was the young man keeping the group together. His soft but stern side played a huge role in strengthening the communication within the group, as well as with Y/N, their superior. This was also why Jungwon was fittingly assigned as the one in charge of comms. His dexterous hands had proven useful whenever they were introduced to the latest equipment.
Sunoo was the most trustworthy desk agent that the group could ever ask for. After getting over his despair over the fact that he scored too low to become a field agent, Y/N placed him in the most important chair behind all missions. Sunoo was in charge of alerting the group whenever there’s company, and his spatial intelligence was definitely beneficial for the group to navigate easily.
Jake was Y/N’s favorite and second in command after Jungwon. During his training days, he had shown immense growth and had proven that he was able to complete any task given. Y/N assigned him as the group’s sniper, just so she could make sure he could do his work from as far as possible, without risking his life.
Jay had the grit and the passion of a leader, but his overflowing confidence and unwavering stance made Y/N believe that he was born to be placed upfront. Scars and battle wounds were like second skin to him, as most of the action he got happened in close range. What surprised Y/N the most was that during training, she discovered that Jay not only had the toughest build, but he had the softest heart too.
And then there was Heeseung. He was Y/N’s least favorite. He always came to class late, and his mannerisms did not exactly show the best level of enthusiasm. However, he proved to be dependable and quick to act, so Y/N had him placed as support. Y/N would often chuckle over the fact that his position as support extended the work field and went into her personal life.
“Keep your eyes and ears wide open. Do not do something dumb. Try not to get killed.”
The boys nodded at Y/N’s voice. Jungwon made one last check at their communication devices.
“Now remember that the mics are placed in your teeth so I can’t hear what’s going on unless you say it yourself,” he said, placing an earpiece on his left ear. “If you’re in trouble, do let me know.”
“And don’t swallow it, Ni-ki, it’s not candy,” Sunghoon chimed in when he saw Ni-ki toying with the device. Jungwon chuckled, and the rest just shook their heads.
“Alright, you know what to do,” said Y/N as she observed the several monitors set up in the van. She made sure Ni-ki was already in place at the wheels, and then as she turned around, she saw the boys leaving one by one.
“Jay, keep the fights lowkey, will you? Don’t just punch the first person you see,” Y/N made a face, pointing at his face. “I don’t want you getting anymore scars on your face.”
Jay smiled. “Yes, Ma’am.”
Heeseung was tying his shoelaces tighter and putting on his vest when Y/N approached him.
“Do you have any advice for me?” He asked, standing up.
“We’re on a mission.”
Heeseung smirked. “Okay.”
“Follow the protocols,” Y/N made a gesture for him to leave before entering the van.
“Yes, Ma’am.”
As Heeseung left the van, half-running to catch up to the other members, Y/N sat next to Ni-ki in the front seat.
“They’ll be okay, right?” asked Y/N. More to herself than to Ni-ki.
“Of course,” Ni-ki tried his best to sound as confident as possible.
(Three hours earlier)
Ni-ki was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel anxiously. The boys had gone overtime. Y/N was in the back of the van, monitoring every signal and every audio she was able to hear.
“I got it, let’s go!” Jake’s voice sounded out of breath.
“Pull out, now!” Sunghoon sounded like he was running.
“Y/N,” Sunoo called from a monitor. Y/N turned to his camera. “They’ll arrive in a minute. I’ve sent a second car to your location. It’s an automated SUV.”
Y/N nodded. “Thank you, Sunoo.” She then looked at Ni-ki, who then immediately started the van.
One by one, the members started arriving. Jake came first with the suitcases they had to retrieve, followed by Jungwon and Sunghoon. Jay was the last to arrive, fresh blood running down his face. Y/N winced at the view before quickly assigning them to their designated cars.
“Jake, you’re driving the van, let’s go,” Ni-ki got out of the driver’s seat and helped Jake store the suitcases in the other car sent to them.
Jay received the towel Y/N was holding and pressed it to his head. Jungwon hopped on the van and as Sunghoon was about to do so too, Y/N looked around.
“Where’s Heeseung?”
Jake looked at the others in the back. Sunghoon and Jay looked at Jungwon, unaware about Heeseung’s whereabouts too.
“I couldn’t reach him,” said Jungwon. He then looked at the monitor where Sunoo was online.
“I’m sorry, I lost track of him too,” Sunoo’s face looked extremely guilty.
“Where did you last see him?” asked Jay.
“He was by the staircase at the—”
“We have to leave,” said Y/N, cutting Sunoo off. “Protocols.”
Sunghoon looked at Y/N in disbelief. Jungwon was scrambling and trying his best to get a hold of Heeseung’s comms. Jake was already ready to drive. Jay stood up.
“We can’t leave him behind,” he said. “I’ll go back.”
“That means you’ll both be left behind,” said Y/N as she anxiously checks all the monitors while taking glances at the building’s entrance. “You guys go. Sunghoon and Ni-ki, you’re coming with me. We’re taking the car.”
“But…” Jay hesitated as he was still holding the towel to his head.
“Jungwon can you please take care of Jay’s wounds? I have to make a report. We need to leave. Jake, drive. We’ll be right behind.”
With uncertainty written all over their faces, Jake, Jay, and Jungwon drove away with the van. As Sunghoon entered the car with Ni-ki already starting the engine, Y/N froze for a moment by the door.
“Y/N, let’s go,” said Ni-ki.
Instead of entering the car, Y/N walked over to Sunghoon’s side and took his gun from him.
“What?!” Sunghoon started to panic.
“Give me your vest too.”
“What are you doing?” Sunghoon asked while still obliging.
Y/N immediately ran away from the car and into the building. Sunghoon was left there in shock, and Ni-ki stuck his head out the window, his gaze following Y/N’s movements.
“She’s going back for Heeseung.”
(Two days later)
After the meeting ended, Chief Lee asked Y/N to stay behind. Noticing that she hadn’t been the same since the last mission, he took the opportunity to make her favorite drink.
“Please tell me that this will at least cheer you up a bit,” he said as he placed a cup of tea in front of her. Lady Grey.
Y/N smiled. “Thanks, Minhyuk.” She took a sip of the tea before setting it on the table again. “I still feel horrible, though.”
“The mission was completed.”
“Yes, but at what cost?”
“Y/N.”
“Leaving an agent behind because we have a strict deadline does not make sense as protocol,” Y/N’s voice was shaking at this point.
“You know that time is not the only reason. We can’t risk losing more than one agent if another chooses to go back,” Minhyuk sat across the table. “You were lucky you both made it.”
Y/N scoffed. “I’m just saying, it seems a little strange that we teach them about loyalty, yet at the same time we’re also willing to abandon a fellow agent.”
Minhyuk realized that no matter how logical his explanation was, it would not make Y/N blame herself less. He sighed and looked deeply into her eyes.
“Take some time off, okay? I’ll let you know when he wakes up.”
“Are you dismissing me?”
“I said you deserve a break, Y/N. Do not twist my words. Please rest. I will need you back soon.”
Y/N looked back into Minhyuk eyes and realize he had sincere sympathy for her. She immediately felt horrible for behaving so hostile.
“Call me the second he wakes up. Will you?”
Minhyuk nodded.
“The second he wakes up, Minhyuk.”
Minhyuk smiled. “I will. I promise.”
(Eight days later)
It was raining hard outside Y/N’s apartment, and it took her back to the day of the mission. She was able to remember every detail clearly. Including the part where Heeseung got shot trying to protect her.
Whenever people describe a past situation and claiming that it all happened very fast, Y/N always thought they were exaggerating. But as she experienced it firsthand, she realized the truth of those words.
Heeseung had lost contact with the other members because of a close-contact fight that damaged his device. His tracker was also removed in the fight. When Y/N found him, he was already making his way out.
“You’re not supposed to be here,” said Heeseung, immediately looking worried as he spotted Y/N walking towards him.
“You’re not supposed to be late,” she replied.
And then they both heard gunshots. As they took cover, Y/N shot at every direction where she could find an enemy, and she did manage to take out a couple of men. But when she was reloading, she took her eyes off the surroundings for one second, and the next thing she saw was Heeseung bleeding from his chest.
After almost dying taking out the rest of the crew, Y/N staggered to the car where Ni-ki and Sunghoon were restlessly waiting, propping Heeseung with her own body. The two boys made sure Heeseung’s wound was treated properly before Ni-ki drove away, reassured after Y/N said no one else in that building was alive.
Y/N’s phone rang. She almost knocked over the cup of tea that had gone cold on her table as she scrambled to reach her phone.
“This is Y/N,” she said before she paused. “Jay?”
“Hi, yeah. Chief Lee told me to call you. You should come in,” Jay said over the phone.
“Is he awake?” Y/N sounded hopeful.
Jay took a long pause. “That depends,” Jay cleared his throat. “I mean, he did wake up and he was all conscious and that, but now he’s sleeping again.”
Y/N sighed a breath of relief. “I thought I told Chief Lee to call me the second Heeseung wakes up.”
“You know how he is,” Jay responded calmly. “I can pick you up if you want.”
“Sounds great. Thanks, Jay.”
---
Jay and Y/N arrive at their headquarters an hour later. Jay secretly regretted offering to pick her up because of the long drive, but as he saw Y/N sleeping throughout the whole journey, he felt like he did something nice and instead felt proud.
As they entered the room where Heeseung was being treated, the other five boys welcomed her with delight.
“She’s here!” Sunoo squealed.
Jake walked over to Jay and gave him a fist bump, and then Y/N a hug. “Missed you a lot, Sis.”
Y/N smiled back at Sunghoon, Jungwon, and Ni-ki who all said hi to her, and she finally locked eyes with Heeseung.
“You idiot.”
The first words that Y/N had to say to Heeseung had, in fact, became the cause of laughter in the room. After a quick playful banter among the members, Jungwon suggested that they leave the room so Y/N was able to talk to Heeseung in private.
After they left, Heeseung sat up. Y/N rushed to his side.
“You’re not supposed to be moving too much.”
“My God, seriously? Every word I hear from you is ‘you’re not supposed to do this’, ‘don’t do that’, ‘stop doing this’. Don’t you have anything else to say to me?”
The frustration in Heeseung’s voice sounded quite endearing to Y/N. She smiled, gave a ‘sorry’ look to him, and sat on the edge of the bed. Heeseung linked his fingers with Y/N’s.
“I talked to Chief Lee and we’re all going to review the protocols,” said Y/N, avoiding eye contact.
“What, you mean like, about agents dating each other?” asked Heeseung, looking straight at Y/N.
“What?” asked Y/N.
“What…?” Heeseung asked back.
Annoyed, Y/N tried to pull her hand, but Heeseung just strengthened his grip.
“I really thought I was going to lose you,” she said faintly, almost a whisper.
“Literally what I thought when I saw you coming back for me,” Heeseung pulled back his hand to wipe a single tear that trickled down Y/N’s face.
“Maybe you should be an analyst like Sunoo. I’ll put you behind a desk,” said Y/N after composing herself.
Heeseung chuckled. “And let you do the action all by yourself? Hell no.”
“I have the boys,” Y/N looked out the room. Through the window, she could see them talking to each other, joking around and laughing.
Heeseung sighed. “Well, I want you to have me too.”
Y/N scoffed, clearly showing that she had had enough of Heeseung’s cheesy lines.
“I mean it,” Heeseung moved his hand to grip Y/N’s arm, pulling her closer. “Help me out here, will you?”
Y/N could have sworn she saw stars in Heeseung’s eyes. She knew it was just tears threatening to fall, but she saw a galaxy in him. She scooted over and leaned down, and Heeseung welcomed her lips in his.
Outside, Jake caught sight of this and immediately pulled the boys away. Oblivious, Y/N playfully pulled away and flicked Heeseung on the forehead.
“Should we tell the boys about this?” Y/N whispered, her face just an inch away from Heeseung’s.
Heeseung pretended to think and then shook his head.
“They already know.”
-END-
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