i have gotten so incredibly... picky?? guarded?? minimal?? about my time with others over the past year. like i want to hang out with my current friends or develop new friendships or just meet people, but the act of talking to others and gauging their interest literally every single second i talk to them is so exhausting that i simply fucking stop trying at a certain point and leap out of the conversation
i hate it so bad, i want to enjoy my time with others, but i have been told and treated repeatedly that i am just not an enjoyable person and i get it, i super am not, i have a lot of issues that i literally just started therapy for last week to try and be a cooler, friendlier, more considerate person to hang out with, but i really just want someone who is easy to exist around. i miss it so bad.