#au as hell

[a-collection-of-villainous-aus]

Acylius on his walk through Birchwood forest swore someone was there, he's hunting them out.

Lady Black Hat sees him from the distance and as my friend @villainousqueenofhel put it, Lady Black Hat can't believe what she's seeing.

By the time she gets to where Acylius is, he's already gone, she's sitting in the snow, singing out hoping to call him back and of course he does.

Link to the song is here

[undergrounddweller89]

Acylius sat quietly at his desk, the room lit with candles , casting a warm glow in his study, papers neatly stacked on the oak desk, his ebony feathers shimmering, showing tints of blue and green, a quill scratching across parchment.

His heart was heavy he hated today...he resented it.

He on this day would send the servants away, no one was allowed to make an appointment with him unless it was a dire emergency and even then , people learned on this day...his usual soft gentle demeanour was sour and blunt.

Or at the very least there seemed to be something dark and depressive.

The servants made their guess's, their rumors about today, but no one knew...he set down the quill....he couldn't focus on the important paper work Infront of him, the weight in his chest was too much. His body felt heavy, perhaps bed was best , he could sleep and just let this day be over with.

With a gentle breath the candles flickered out.

Today had felt like an eternity, with it's endless silence, Acylius pushed back in his chair and stood, making his way over to the window where moonlight poured in, his four black eyes glinting as if they were filled with stars, his white face glowing , looking up and just admiring all that vast beautiful emptiness within the night sky, he felt so separated from the rest of the world in this place of solitude, one of his own making.

Just for today, he needed it for today...he couldn't take being disappointed today...he couldn't take being let down on a day that was supposed to be happy....he'd rather it was like this, he would rather it hurt...turning away from the window he didn't notice the man who'd seen him standing there, who knew just enough about him...to know something wasn't right...even he'd been asked to leave on this day last year...he'd thought nothing of it but when it happened this year...

Jack knew where the back door entrance was, where the secret key was kept that could only respond to people who had been given permission to use it.

He hadn't been pulled back into this age old time without futuristic tech but full of magic just to stand back and do nothing, he wasn't going to ignore the being that had pulled him from that vault , all that fire and ash , who'd healed him from the madness and eridium poisoning...

He'd observed the world Acylius was in and at first he hadn't seen it but with more and more time he saw how people took from the bird demon, how happy they were to have his help and never ask if he needed something...no something definitely wasn't right if out of all the days this one in particular seemed to change Acylius's mood like this...

Down the hall Acylius's tail feathers dragged, he was already starting to undress , he didn't really need clothes for bed considering his body was covered in silky soft feathers. The windows turned dark as he walked by. Upon reaching his room his clothes folded in his arms.

Entering he set down the folded items and made his way to his bed, curling up and sinking into its softness, if only he could sink into it deeper, sink into that pain and just remember nothing else , nothing to contrast it so he didn't know he was in pain, so he didn't know his heart ached...his eyes closed he let out a few pained sobs only to be startled as he heard a voice, trying to forcefully wipe away his tears he finally noticed the man sitting from across the bed on his high backed chair.

"I'm fine Jack...I...wasn't you going to see your daughter ..."

Jack stared at him, again that was another thing this being had done for him, he'd saved her, healed their family...well it was a work in progress but still...and here he was alone crying ...and still not thinking of himself.

"Lulu shut up...you know she's out travelling at the moment, you're not fine."

He climbed on the bed next to him, he was so much smaller than the demon he was sitting next to , gently wiping away his tears and cradling Acylius's head as he stroked over his feathers.

"Come on Princess, tell me what's wrong?"

Acylius just curled up more for a moment, he said nothing, he didn't want to and when he felt Jack shift , a part of him felt terrified he would leave and pulled him down by his leg to cuddle close. He held him against his chest. Jack settled against the larger body and put his arm and leg around him, just to hold Acylius closer, hold onto him tighter.

"If I tell you ...don't pity me...just stay quiet and don't let go..."

Acylius practically whispered, his voice cracking again as an arm wrapped around Jack's back.

"Yeah...I promise..."

"I was born..."

After that Acylius said nothing.

It took Jack a moment to realise what he meant, oh it was his birthday...what the hell had happened to him in his life to make him reject this day so much...he'd let it go for now....but right now....he'd give Acylius what he wanted , what he needed.

He kissed his neck softly and nuzzled him

"Hey kiddo...."

"I'm hundreds of years older than you."

Lulu murmured.

"Yeah yeah...just ... I'm happy...you were... actually...more than happy, I'm thankful...I don't believe in all that religious god shit...but if there's something out there ...I'm thankful for you...I'm happy I get to hold you now ...that I got my daughter back..."

Acylius looked at him to show he was listening.

"I told you to be quiet Jack."

The bird demon pulled him just a little closer though , Jack just smiled and stroked the feathers on Acylius's back, the comfort of his warmth and gentle strength.

A another few moments silence passed between them and this time it was Acylius to break it.

"I'm thankful for you to... thank you Jack...are you alright with just staying like this tonight?"

Jack nodded and squeezed him affectionately and that was all the answer Acylius needed , closing his eyes, his listened to Jack's heart beat and the soft sound of his breathing, today...while it may not be perfect...today was a happy birthday.

[anotherisodope]

🚔 : sitting in the back of a patrol car

“Thanks for drivin’ me home, guys!” Hancock was so completely drunk that he had missed the fact that he was in the back of a patrol car. “Hey, does anybody know where I left my pants?”

The two New York cops sitting in the front of the patrol car slowly looked at each other. Neither one of them knew quite what to do with the affably drunk zombie in the Revolutionary War attire. Put him in the drunk tank? Call the government? Call the press?

“Hey, you’d better let me out for a minute,” he urged suddenly, gagging. “I think that 4 Loco shit is comin’ back on me.”

The cops, terrified of the thought of him painting their back seat with zombie puke, reacted very quickly, the driver pulling over and the other running around to open the locked back door.

As soon as it was open, Hancock was out in a flash, moving faster than any drunk or zombie had a right to. He darted past the cop, doubled back, bounded over the hood, and had the car between himself and the cop before he could aim. Seconds later, he disappeared into the woods that grew beside the highway. He was laughing like a madman the entire time.

[omicrontheicequeen]

[[ @anotherisodope said, Continued from here]]

“Well, Yer Majesty, the name’s John Hancock, and I got no idea how I ended up this far south, but I did hit the jet pretty goddamn hard on top of everything else, so who even knows.” He looked around blearily, then back at her. “Yeah, all right. Thanks.” He started strolling drunkenly that direction, wondering where the fuck he was that they actually had roads and houses in this good condition.

Ice Queen gave another soft snort, keeping a slow pace compared to her normal stride. She was used to keeping pace with smaller beings and walked to where there was a new development, construction paused in some sort of labor dispute.

Something the pirate had no trouble taking advantage of as she stopped at a completed display house. Laying down behind it and folding herself up into a dragonic loaf, closing her optics as she tried to boot up her holo-form, “How good are you with locks?”

[a-collection-of-villainous-aus]

House of Legion part three

Do I have any idea where this is gonna go HA NO....do I ever when I write anything LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY no...but that's why this is a place of self indulgence on paperhat aus and anyone who reads it is along for the ride.

.

So here the Legion demon stood towering over him, his chin between two long clawed fingers and he'd just been called master.

Why did he find that ... disappointing...

Folding his arms he rolled his eye

"Please , I can be in charge when ever I want no matter what you call me."

He placed a hand on Acylius's and moved it away.

Acylius's four black eyes widened a moment, blinking looking dumbfounded, before regaining his composure, fingers then wrapping around Black Hats tie, oh he was so not about to do this...he was not about to do this..

He pulled Hat forward and easily held his face in his hand, just right enough to make the ancient elderichts lips pucker

"So you want to be bred is that it ,little gremlin, you want me to force your lips open and feed you every inch of my-"

His stomach gurgled and growled , Hat however hadn't noticed , he swallowed , cheeks beginning to flush , Acylius noticing Hat hadn't reacted to it continued

"Every inch of my cock, huh you feel like choking on something that could break you."

He started leading Hat backwards up against the desk , holy shit was this actually working....well he wasn't dead yet so maybe.

He now had Black Hat pressed against the edge of the large smooth obsidian desk as he leaned in , his voice deep and husky

"Or should I just tear off your clothes and fuck the first hole I can find?"

Hat was about to answer his breathing had become heavier, hands resting on the desks edge when this time he did notice that the demons stomach growled.

"Hungry?"

Hat asked coming out of his daze, he really really wanted to just lay back and do as he was told, he could have just left him...but he'd also been wondering just moments ago what this creature ate...maybe a fine meal would get him to stay for the day tomorrow as well, he could offer him treats then to...the blood had coiled it's way down, pants tight , pressing against exposed soft feathers.

"I'm fine."

He stomach growled again, Acylius smirked lifting him up onto the desk and pushing him back, Hats hands went to his chest , much like a cats would on its back , that shadow that loomed over him was not helping to clear the fog in his brain.

One hand resting beside his head , claws slowly rhythmically tapping

"And if I am hungry...so what of it, I'm sure eating you will give me my fill."

He had one knee by his hip, hat's heart was racing, he could make himself spread across the galaxy and some how under this Legion demon he felt so small and at his mercy it excited him.

His body trembled as talons slowly traced over his belly teasing at his belt only to trail a line over his straining cock, twitching at the slightest of touches, it'd been too long, no one had ever done this ...no....oh no...he arched his back and closed his eye , mouth open .

Acylius froze , the only thing he was able to do was blink.

Did he ....did Lord Black Hat just...he looked down and there sure enough the damp patch in where Black Hat had cum...well...

"Well there goes my dinner."

Acylius chuckled teasing him lightly.

Hat was hiding his face

"Just shut up will you... it's embarrassing..."

"No it's not honestly it's an ego boost, take that as a compliment I was terrified you were going to serve me for Christmas dinner."

Hat looked up at him again clearly annoyed and sulking

"What do you mean?*

"Well I'm a bird demon, humans serve poultry dishes usually at Christmas or Thanksgiving, I don't really care for either but you know there's always something pretty about the lights and tree and giving a small meaningful something to a loved one."

Black Hat laid there watching him, listening , was this the same bird demon who'd just dominated him into an early orgasm, he seemed so....sweet....

Acylius moved back and went to his knees , bowing his head

"Forgive me my Lord, I am probably talking out of place. Also each session with a client is completely confidential, no one will know a thing that happens here tonight."

Sitting up , Hat scrubbed a hand down his face grumbling

"Get up you idiot."

Another louder protesting growling whine came from Acylius's stomach.

He frowned looking at him, his face was level with his and that was while he was still on his knees , but watching him rise up...damn this height difference , thank the darkness he was a creature who could grow in anyway he needed, or he might have decided getting his spine snapped would be worth having Acylius buried deep inside him.

And to think he'd thought about ravishing him...he'd still like to, sit him on the edge of the desk and be buried between his thighs with those long long legs around him....

His pupil thinned at the sound of Acylius's stomach

"Why didn't you eat Acylius? Expecting me to feed you like a pet?"

Hat noticed the wince and the small sign of feathers flaring on his head, he hadn't meant it as an insult , it was meant to be a light tease.

"I was...I was..."

Acylius pulled the robe tighter together and looked away

"You can be honest, I promise I will not be angry."

"I was nervous, it's you, you're Black Hat, greatest Villain of all time..."

"Well you certainly have balls for someone so nervous, no one has ever taken charge to that extent, only someone of my species has dared to be so forward."

Hat climbed off the desk and moved closer to Acylius who he could tell smiled a little bit due to the shape his eyes took when he did.

"Well this... isn't my first time...unless you want me to pretend it is?"

Hat shook his head , letting out a soft laugh

"No need, I'm not as fond of virgin sacrifices as others make out...now what would you like to eat, I can get you something after I clean up."

Acylius took this as a moment to joke

"Nothing better than home made Mac and cheese , cooked just long enough the cheese starts to brown."

Hat did a small bow

"As you wish, my master."

He winked and disappeared in a puff of green flames and smoke for dramatic effect.

Acylius was frozen in place , was Hat...Black Hat going to make him Mac and cheese?

He blushed a little at the idea then shook his head, naaaah thee Amadeus Black Hat wouldn't do that, conquer of worlds and universes and the like, no he'd have someone make it , of course he would he couldn't imagine the idea of Hat grating cheese or using cornflower and all of thee above.

Still Hat had to wash ... couldn't he do that by magic...maybe he was going to slip into something more comfortable...

Pulling his phone out of midair he scrolled through his contacts and found Juniper, one of his best friend's at the House of Legion, her form was that of an anthro wolf with short violet hair.

He'd text her that way at least Hat wouldn't be able the eavesdrop on the conversation.

'Bitch, I just told Black Hat I wanted mac and cheese, I think he went and made it, I think I might die and this was a last meal granted plz save me.'

'Oh what , nice! Duuuuuude you're so lucky his cooking is meant to be legendary , sounds like this is gonna be a good session for you!'

'J, I swear if I'm not dead tomorrow I'll kill you myself, there is no way Black Hat is going to cook for a fancy escort like me, he's probably ordering in or something.'

'Yeah if he was ordering in why didn't he use the phone infront of you then get busy with that fine bird ass, or is he like Vincent who likes your humanoid form! I'd like to dig my claws into that ass!'

'Wench you couldn't afford me pffft but...I guess...maybe I could show him my human form make it a surprise for when he comes back?'

'OMG YES LET HIM SEE THOSE SWEET TATS YOU DUMMY , If he doesn't go gaga for them he's crazy and being Black Hat you know you haven't got to worry about those pretty scars on your face, he's gonna love them! Don't worry big bird you got this!'

Juniper was worried a moment when she didn't get a response, maybe she'd stepped too far with that one...she let out a breath she'd been holding when she saw the response.

'You really think he'll like them?'

'If he so much as makes a mean comment about those scars I'll personally piss on his door and call him a bag of dicks , you know I got you whore.'

'Thanks Slut 😘 but please don't get yourself killed for that'

'Skank I decide how I die and that would totally be a worthy death now, bird out and show that grumpy old demon how pretty your humanoid form is to, let him see what he's paid for , then make him EARN IT, love you boo, see you tomorrow, my clients waiting!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️'

Acylius sighed and turned into his humanoid form, oh right everything kinda ....dangled in this form, he picked up his robe...(I actually can't remember if he took off the red one but.shush it's one am here and I have four hours before I gotta get up for work) and pulled it back on, it was massive now, he was surprised Hat hadn't pulled him along for shower sex or to wherever he'd, was he embarrassed about cumming quickly and didn't want to see him?

Was Hat waiting for him to leave, well he didn't dare leave until he knew he could or until his time was up, sitting on the available couch he crossed a leg over the other and started playing games on his phone, might as well while he waited right.

End of pt3

(omg why does this always happen each time I write something that starts of short then each bit just gets longer and longer! Again like hell I know where this is going pfft anyway Juniper belongs to @things-arent-what-they-seem66 , who won a little competition so their character will show up in this from time to time I guess now xD)

[benevolentangel-archive-blog]

Tessa wasn’t sure when she realized that she was starting to like Lucian. Maybe it was on the lunchtime dates at various places, or all the times he kicked her ass in laser tag. All she knew was that she wasn’t sure what she wanted anymore. So she had invited him over to her apartment and cooked him dinner.

“You know I don’t really need to eat.” Lucian said, with a bit of a smirk. Her ears turned red and she looked down at her plate.

“Well, I checked the library but they didn’t have ‘Wooing Angels 101’.” she ground out, earning a laugh from the angel and hell Naarai used to eat like a human.

“You would have needed the idiot’s guide.” He corrected, before taking another bite of the lasagna. She slumped in defeat.

“It’s good, by the way.” He amended, causing Tessa to brighten quickly.

“R-really? Great! I mean, I’m glad you like it.” She was chattering with excitement. Maybe she was falling in love with him. She still wasn’t sure.