Au: Sidereus remembers his old relationship with Sol inside a bus
There are places in this world where reality is surreal. Time doesn’t exist and everything is disconnected and weightless as if it’s just you in that place and no else. For Hyojong, that place was in the right back seat of the 345 city bus.
He still remembers when he met him. It was a rainy night and he was on his way back home after being fired from his job. He had his head slumped against the window, staring emptily at the droplets that were racing down the glass. He was so immersed in his own world he almost didn’t hear the simple request that was asked of him.
“Can I sit next to you?” Hyojong lifts his gaze to the source of the voice and gets stunned. The guy standing there was giving him the kindest smile he’d seen in existence. Hate, disgust, worry, pity he was used to receiving but never kindness. Especially not from such a handsome stranger.
At some point, he realized he should probably say something instead of just gapping like a fish out of water. “Ah..uh..yeah. Yeah, you can sit.”
“Thanks.” The other takes his place, carefully lifting his traveling backpack onto his lap. “It’s really rainy outside, isn’t it? I had to run to catch this bus or I’d be soaked…” He pauses, arching a brow. “I’m sorry, is there something on my face?”
“What?”
“My face. You’re staring.”
“Oh… no, no, no. Uh- Your hair.”
“Oh…yeah, guess Violet’s not much of a natural color, is it?”
“I like it. It fits you.”
“Thanks…”
“…”
“…”
“I’m Hyojong.”
“JunHui.”
From then on the two of them always managed to meet at the 345. It wasn’t that hard really. Jun was new in town and wanted to explore the city, and Hyojong was completely free so why not help the guy. They arranged to meet almost every day at the bus stop and from then on things slowly started to work for them.
Hyojong was really happy about it. Even though he didn’t show it, he was pleased that they had ended up with each other. The kind smile might have made him trip, but it was Jun’s beautiful words that made him fall. Hyojong never felt that he was worth them but Jun persisted. The man just had this way of making you feel like the most important person in the world with a simple “Hey.”. But Hyojong would never admit that. At least not aloud.
It was almost as if they complimented each another. What Hyojong didn’t say, Jun would know and what Jun poured out of his heart Hyojong would hold and cherish like it was the most precious treasure in the world. They were doing perfectly well.
At some point, Jun moved in with him and his life just kept getting better and better. He got himself a new job, a new life. And although he still took the same bus every day, now he had someone waiting at the stop with a smile for him. It was heaven on earth and he was truly convinced they were meant to be.
And yet why did things end up so wrong?
“Jun, don’t go.”
“No. It’s over Hyojong. We’re over.”
“Wh-”
“There’s nothing you can say that will change my mind…I’m sorry. It’s just-”
“Don’t-”
Jun raises his hand to stop him.
“Save it.” He grabs his backpack again, passport in hand and gives one last glance before closing the door on him.
It’s been three years since that day. Every day he takes the same bus home, sitting in the same place at the back so no one can bother him. Sometimes he’s writing, sometimes he’s sleeping, sometimes he’s too absorbed in his own world asking himself foolish questions.
Do you miss me like I do?
Do you also want to return?
What’s made of you Jun?
Are you happy? Are you truly happy after all of this?
I hope that you’re happy.
I’m sorry…I’m starting to forget. For some reason, your smile is slowly fading my memory. Am i fading your memory too?
I don’t want to forget. I really don’t want to forget…Please… Please don’t forget me too.
“ So we rode down to the river, where the toiling ghosts springFor their curses to be brokenWe’d go underneath the arches, where the witches are in there sayingThere are ghost towns in the ocean”
Au: Jiyong and Sid are siblings who like to play in cemeteries
i.
“This place sucks!”
A pebble is kicked harshly against the church’s wall scaring away the few birds nearby. Today the Kim family had officially moved into their new home which happened to be the very church Jiyong was so disappointed at. The twelve-year-old huffed, stomping in a comical way towards the damp stairs where she sat. Mother will surely scold her later for dirting the dress.
Not far from her, her older brother lazily eyes the stone walls with disinterest. He had to agree with Jiyong, the place was truly boring. Tall stone cold walls with a simple roof tile and a small cross in the front to finalize. Even the windows were devoid of any ornaments or glass work, the church was either way too old or their previous owners were minimalistic boring people. Either way, their new abode did not look promising.
Being the children of a pastor meant that they had lives a little different from everyone else. For starters, they were made to attend mass whether they liked it or not, they were also forced to be part of the catechism (which often resulted in Jiyong terrorizing the other children and Hyojong just laughing in the background watching the world burn). And last but not least, if their father was needed somewhere else, they were forced to move with him too.
By now the children were completely used to this, having never known anything different. However, it was the first time they were in a place that was out of the city. The old village was what it was, old. Everything was old, from the houses to its citizens. There was hardly anything there but the church, one or two pubs, a small market-house and a postal office. If they wanted anything else, they’d have to go by car to go to the nearest city. This also meant that the children would be forced to rise earlier just to catch a bus for school. Which sucked.
The two siblings were pouting over their misfortune when suddenly a cat jumped to Jiyong’s lap. The young girl shrieked, obviously startled for she had no idea where the cat came from. Hyojong hurried, immediately grabbing the animal before it tried to scratch her. It was a small black cat, with big yellow eyes no collar around its neck so they had no idea who could be the owner.
They both share a look before running into the church.
“Mom!! Moooooom!!! Can we keep it!?”
ii.
It had been exactly a month since they arrived at the small village and they already had enemies. The kids at school just didn’t seem to warm up to them and constantly tried to pick on the new kids just for fun. Hyojong didn’t care much. As long as no one tried to get physical or insult his family, he could let it pass, often choosing to ignore the comments on his gloomy appearance. Jiyong however, was a totally different thing. The girl was unforgiving. Whoever as much tried to insult her or play a cruel prank on her, she’d always return it. One time she even went as far as to set the braids of a classmate on fire just because she had made fun of her dress. If Jiyoung could have a choice in the matter, she would never wear dresses. But her mother picked it out for her and no one insults mom’s taste.
At those times Hyojong would be watching from afar, laughing quietly at his younger sisters’ antics. Once the young girl had finished her business, Hyojong would go over to the victim and tell them not to tell the teacher or their parents unless they wanted to suffer something worse. Afterwards, he’d just go to wherever his sister went and called her to his side to know the details.
She always told him everything with a glint in her eyes, like she was an old mercenary that was boasting her favorite kills. Hyojong would listen attentively, smiling proudly at the fact that his sister was such a fire-cracker. In truth, he wasn’t that worried about what the kids would do to Jiyong cause he knew she could stand up for herself. Even if much later she would ask for a hug and weep quietly in his arms over how cruel the children were. (When that happened, some kids suddenly appeared with new bruises the next morning.)
“We’re crueler.” It’s what he’d always say. And it was true. No one could match the siblings in payback. Whatever came at them they’d give double, it was always like that.
Yet everything comes with a price, and theirs was the ultimate loneliness. No one wants to play with the enemy, much less if their enemy is ruthless. So often times they’d find themselves walking through the local graveyard, completely bored out of their minds. It was a strange place to be, but it was that or assisting their father with mass preparations and nobody got time for that.
The cemetery actually wasn’t that bad. It was filled with all sorts of tombstones and weird plants they’d never seen before and they always got their fit of laughs making up stories for the deceased. But like everything in that village, it got old pretty fast. They were about to give up and return home when Jiyong noticed their cat was walking into a strange area. The creature still didn’t have a fixed name because they kept arguing on what to call him. (Jiyong didn’t care if Nox was the name of some god of the night, the cats’ name was Draco and that’s final!)
She tugged at her brother’s sleeve, calling his attention. “Let’s follow him.”
iii.
The cat had led them out of the cemetery and down to the river. The siblings had never been to these parts, as they were often advised to stay near the church grounds for safety. The trees were old and decaying, everything in that place screamed danger but it was beautiful to them.
They kept following the small creature until they reached an old stone bridge. The bridge looked sturdy even though it gave signs that it was a little more ancient than they expected it to be. Suddenly Hyojong realizes that their cat is missing.
“Jiyong, did you see- Jiyong!?”
iv.
No one could have prepared the school for what was to come. Mysterious phenomenons started to happen. The children spoke of ghosts and monsters, terrified to the bone of going to sleep. The teenagers were wary of the streets and of the whispers of what lurked in the shadows. No one felt truly safe. Well no one, except for the Kim siblings. They were currently having lunch alone at their table, completely immersed in some old heavy books that no one had a clue what they were about.
“Let’s try this one tonight. It’s simple enough. We just need the goat blood to draw the circle.”
“And who’s gonna kill the goat? You?”
“Well do you have a better suggestion?”
“We could try asking for a dragon egg.”
“No. Absolutely not.”
“But Hyojooooooong~”
“No! And stop calling me that, we have new names for a reason.”
The girl just rolls her eyes. “Forgive me, oh mighty Sidereus, the edge lord of the stars.”
“As if Daenerys, the queen of dragons isn’t edgy enough.”
“Oh shut up. So how are we going to get the goat?”
The middle of an adventure is a perfect place to start.
Over the years, Sidereus had learned that he was a magnet for trouble. No matter what he did, he’d always find himself in some sort of predicament far too complex for him to deal with. His most recent one is the worse that he has encountered.
He had been trying to take his own life. Don’t get him wrong, Sidereus was by no means depressed. He just didn’t have anything to live for. An empty life and an even emptier being. Surely such a creature shouldn’t be wasting the precious oxygen that could be breathed by functional human beings.
And thus for a great part of that night, he’d been trying to kill himself. He’d tried a little bit of everything, drowning in a bathtub (was taking too long), asphyxiation (that resulted in a panic attack), he even tried to hang at some point (phone cords aren’t really that good). It all failed.
He couldn’t quite explain it, but there was something working against his attempts. Almost like the universe was trying to tell him to wait a little more before going. But he was just as stubborn as it.
Walking towards the main street, Sidereus waited for the first car to appear and jumped straight to its path. The collision had been painful, his body sent rolling across the street with the shriek of the breaks. It was funny when he opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was the starry sky above him, and he could only smile thinking that he had finally done it.
The victory was short lived as his vision was obscured by worried eyes.
“Oh good, you’re alive.”
ii.
He wasn’t sure what made him join the trip. Sullivan was a rich kid that was kicked out of his home. He didn’t tell him the reason, Sidereus didn’t want to know either. All he knew was that the kid was smart enough to steal his parents’ car and was currently driving as far away as the gas would allow him.
A handkerchief was handed to him and Sidereus took it without any protest, cleaning the blood and dirt off his scraps in a feeble fashion. That’s all that he got away with, a few scraps, a sore body and a worried nurse that nagged on how much of a retard he was for doing such a stupid thing like trying to take his own life.
Sullivan was quite the character. He had this permanent scowl on his face and a stare that told you he had killed you in his head 20 times by now, yet the careful way he’d help Sidereus get up and all the effort he put into strapping him to the car seat told a very different story. The kid was genuine, and Sidereus almost felt sorry for being a burden to him.
“Don’t take me to the hospital. I’ll only try again if you do.”
Sullivan tensed at the wheel but said nothing. Sidereus tone had been raw enough to keep him from protesting. They drive in silence, each reflecting on how they had ended up in there.
iii.
‘505′ was the number they ended up calling home.
After almost three hours traveling Sullivan finally decided he had had enough and parked at the first motel he saw. The place wasn’t much, it was old and by the looks of some fellows in line for check-in, It was mostly used with only one purpose in mind. Imagine the surprise it was when Sullivan opened the bedroom door only to find that it had one bed.
Sidereus couldn’t care less. His body ached with every move he made, so he had no qualms passing Sullivan and walking straight into bed. The smell of fresh sheets reminded him of days long gone when his cheeks hurt from always smiling. In that moment he completely surrendered to the memory forgetting everything that surrounded him.
(Later he woke up with a presence next to him. It was odd but not entirely out of place. He closed his eyes and accepted it.)
iv.
Maybe it was because they only had each other, maybe it was something else. The truth remained that Sidereus was growing attached to the sharp-tongued cute man with pretty lips. They were full, with a heart-shaped bow and an endearing pout that would occasionally be replaced by an adorable gummy smile. He wasn’t sure when he started to notice but damn Sidereus was being tempted every day.
The moment he’d walk through the door he was greeted with a sight that would be forever engraved in his mind. Their working schedules didn’t match, being that Sullivan was mostly always home when he arrived. But Sidereus was pretty sure that people don’t greet just anyone lying on their side, with their hands between their thighs and a smile.
It was home or at least something that he connected to it.
The first time had been completely spontaneous. One minute he’s listening to the guy nagging him over something trivial before he closes the door, the next he has him pressed to bed in a makeout that escalated a little too quickly.
From then on, everything just fell into place. It was a routine they had both learned to appreciate despite the obvious unusual conditions they were in. Sidereus had learned everything there was to know about Sullivan. From the soft thighs to the curve of his back and the dip of his collarbones, there was nothing left unexplored. Soft moans and heavy breaths filled his ears many nights and the few times he had heard his name come from those divine lips had him smiling like an idiot just at the idea.
Those were the thoughts that kept him company on the days he arrived first. Much like he did to him, Sullivan would open the door only find a sly hand undoing buttons, a teasing grin, and a burning gaze that screamed trouble directed at him. They were two peas in a pod. Sidereus never cared and Sullivan just stopped resisting.
(Often enough he had heard Sullivan calling him troublesome. He would just smile in return, thanking his stupid talent for getting him something so good.)
v.
He was an idiot. A completely foolish idiot. Of course, everything would go wrong eventually. He knew the rules, he knew he could never have something good for too long. It’s just how it was and like everything that had happened to him, Sidereus had long since accepted that he was not meant to be happy.
But nothing in the world could have prepared him for the amount of pain he felt by seeing Sullivan cry. It was the first time in many years that Sidereus was at a complete loss on what to do. The news had come early in the form of a phone call, the weeping widow asking for her son to return and Sidereus knew that he no longer had a place in Sullivan’s life.
He could do nothing but hold the man to his chest, pretending there wasn’t a dagger sinking deeper at each wail that came. (Through the night, he selfishly kissed Sullivan, taking his time to map everything that would be gone come morning.)
vi.
Sidereus was not a sentimental guy. He could count the number of times he’d actually felt something strongly. Number one was a bunch of feelings he lumped into the memory of his family. They were mostly of happiness and warmth that he buried long ago along with the first most eventful night of his life. That night shaped him into the man he was today so it had the special second place on his list. The third, well it was the night before Sullivan walked out of his life.
The feeling was a constant phantom haunting him wherever he went. After Sullivan left, he had given up the room keys and moved back to his old place. It was pointless staying somewhere he no longer felt any connection with. (It was a lie, but that’s what he did. Lied his way through life and moved along.)
He wanted to get rid of it but it persisted, craving into his heart, demanding something he couldn’t give. Sometimes in the night, he’d be having one of those dreams that usually had him waking in a panic. The hands would be at his throat, he would be trashing and fighting until he noticed it was Sullivan doing it. When that happened, he would just smile in adoration. Sullivan could make a vicious act turn into the most beautiful thing he’d ever experience. He would gladly die at his hands, and maybe it was then that it fully hit him that maybe it wasn’t just a strong attachment after all. Maybe he had really been in love.
When he wakes up he runs a hand through his hair and laughs. How pathetic.
vii.
He knew what he was doing was stupid. He could practically hear Sullivan scolding him but he just wanted to indulge. Perhaps if he did this, he could move on more easily and so he returned to the old motel and booked the infamous ‘505′.
It was weird going back there after so long. How such a small room could hold so many memories when most of its space was occupied by the bed. Laying down on it, he kicks his shoes off and just stares at the ceiling. There’s something in the air that kept the room standing still in time. He notices that it was like it was just another night and he was waiting for Sullivan to come home.
For a brief second, he dares to look at the closed door.
His heart beats with excitement as it begins to open.
Au: Sonmi is a pure soul that gets her heartbroken by a devil
Poor thing, they call her. Poor foolish thing.
There was a girl who once dreamed of sunshine and happy endings. A simple lady with a breeze for a smile that claimed the hearts of everyone in the land. She had been well loved since little, knowing only of hugs, kisses and beautiful words that promised a bright future. For her, there could nothing going wrong. She had the moon in her pocket and the stars at her feet.
What shame it was when she found that love was a deadly poison.
Knowing only of its sweetness, she had no qualms surrendering her heart to the man of her wishes. He represents all she ever knew. Soft-spoken words that promised only beautiful things. A certain tenderness in his touch that made her knees weak and her heart race faster than ever. She was happy with him. Truly happy.
Yet now she walks crying through the streets. Yelling a name that many know for being the devil himself. A sleazy man that destroyed lives wherever he went and Sonmi was no exception.
She cries into the pouring rain, praying for him to return. She wants her heart back. She wants the tender touches and sweets words. She wants his arms around her and the whispers telling her everything is alright. She wants him happy for their future child. Wants them happy as her family had been.
“You promised!
You promised my love!
You promised!”
And yet deep down she knows he won’t return. Everyone had warned her before. Sidereus was not to be trusted, he was a vicious double-crosser who used love in the most despicable way. He would only use her, never really appreciating the love she would deliver. He would be her ruin if she ever fell for him. And ruined she was.
“ Sidereus come back to me!
Come back to me, love!
I can’t… I can’t live without you!”
The rain is cold against her skin but she feels nothing. There’s nothing to feel if her love isn’t around. Life is no longer worth living. Her love was broken and she could no longer feel it’s warmth.
She eventually stops calling for him in complete defeat. It wasn’t worth it anymore, he won’t come back. It’s over.
Cleaning the tears from her cheeks, she gives one last broken sob before turning to go home. There’s no use crying over a poor devil who never knew how to love.
